Ok...now we all know that without trust there is little to co chance at a marriage working. Sometimes, when trust is broken, and you decide to try and work thru it; the "guilty party" has to be (or should expect)to be ready to do what it takes to earn that trust back; am I right? If it means that you keep your normally personal info open to her..like access to email facebook, etc...so if she feels she needs that reassurance she can look and get the peace of mind, until the trust is regained. Being lied to, cheated on or betrayed in any form, hurts like hell and can be tough to get over.

There's been a trust issue for a while (with hubby) because of lies or excuses I caught him in. There were certain deal breakers that I made clear before we got married that he said he would respect.
#1 No contact with past/ex girlfriends, flings, sex partners, etc...
#2 That he set clear boundaries that out of respect for me, he can't continue dealing with them. I mean, Im pretty sure most guys dont want their wife chatting up old boyfriends, etc...We both have children from prior relationships...we HAVE to deal with the other parent ..lets not complicate things with other ex's.

Weeell, this hasn't exactly played out the way I had hoped. Im Oct of last year I went on my yahoo email and saw that this girl he was seeing at a point when we split up left him a message on his wall (I could see it cause he was once of my connections on yahoo) and it said, "Hey Mike, great to hear from ya, hows married life treating you?" I confronted him, he said he hadnt talked to her but he "accidentally" accepted her friend request. (um humm..suuure)Because of this I felt that he was really hiding more from me...sure enough he had pics of some girl he had been seeing behind my back at a time that we were still together in our early dating. I was crushed to see that he still had these pics 8 months after we got married. He told me he deleted all girls contact info...not true....found them!

He was mad when I confronted him. He became enraged and flipped it on me. Once we cooled off he deleted all of his email accts but one and gave me access to it. Later, he opened a facebook after telling me he didnt want one. He said it was to get back in contact with guys from HS football. With over 200 friends, most are women from HS. The part that upsets me is that many of them, he has looked up and contacted...he began saying he wanted everything private...now after returning from work tonight he said something about not being on FB much at all. this made me suspicious so I looked and saw that he had been on it since the moment I went to work until I got home. (another lie?) He activated FB mobile...why? when he receives alerts thru his email? Also, he posted his phone number and email PUBLIC!!! he has done completely the opposite of what he said he would...I also realized that tonight he marked the box in internet explorer "delete browsing history on exit"

HERES THE KICKER!!!!! He thought he deleted a conversation he had tonight with a girl from HS named Sarah (but he didnt) and it showed that he looked for her (problem for me)..but in the convo she said to him, " SO if I come up there can I stay with you?" He replied..." Noooo I dont think the wife would like that too much."
She said, " Oh Im sorry, I didnt realize it."
He said," It doesnt show Im married on my profile...I thought it did. If it doesnt, I need to check and make sure it does." If Im down that way I'll say Hi." (WTF?) We all know that if a single woman asks a guy "can I come stay wit you?"..shes flirting. Esp if they havent seen each other in forever!

Now, many women would say, "aww then whats to worry about? He respected you." I have mixed feelings. Firstly he knows how upset I'd be if I knew about this..Im pretty sure this is why he tried to delete the message. Why does he do things like this if he knows it'll hurt me?
Secondly, if the shoe was on the other foot he wouldn't like it. After all the crap Ive caught him in...why would he push the envelope and do stuff behind my back? I know I should be glad that he stood up for the marriage, but everything else that I mentioned in the first paragraph..the changes to the browsing history...making everything public...I mean, hes asking for girls to contact him. Ive told him that he can say one thing or have innocent intentions, but the woman will hear or interpret it totally different. The fact that he went looking for her prob made her think, " Oh hes thinking of me after all this time." Im hurt that he even reached out..but glad he let her know he was married.

Im so in limbo. I'm tired of not knowing if I can trust him. Why would he do all those things in addition, contacting her...but still tell her no that hes married? Please, Im so upset and I just dont know what to do.