You are here

Just a little help

a88ie's picture

Ok so just need to vent or maybe make some freinds who think like  me. I'm a INTJ strong type A personality. And I dont like kids. Well I'm just disinterested tbh and dont even spare it a thought. 

Now xmas is coming and the parents of my partner keep bringing up the skids name when it is inappropriate. For example I passed some tests recently for a good job and wanted to celebrate so his dad said he'd come round. I spent a whole day making the house spotless with my beautiful Christmas decorated house. Not one comment about that nope. What does the skid think. It strook me as it was out of the blue so now I wont be wasting time with him. Now the other side the mother. She wants to  ks round after she has given the entitled brat yet more gifts then wants to come to my house again and I know how its going to go so I've flat out refused and not going to enable her again as I met her once a year ago and that's all she was going on about and was the most boring hours of my life. So they all want to instill this parasite into our minds and me and my husband is disinterested. He is soft spoken and I'm the one with strength so what can I do. Shall I say that he cant be talked about incessantly as this is the only time he sees his mum and dont want to be waffling about skid. His dad the other day say the empty clean space and  cheeky shit asked if we wanted any of its toys in my house as I had room. Lol nope. Just nope. 

 

Please help. Were meant to be the kid is a afterthought but his parents just keep going on and it is depressing us. 

 

He pays his support and sees him once a week we are fine with this. I just dont want to cut them all off if there is any other way first. 

sandye21's picture

If they are the GP of DH's child they will be talking about the Gskid.  It's a given.  So give them a suitable allotted time for questions or comments, possibly leaving the room for some temporary task, then, when you return, start talking about your favorite God child - even if you have to make him up, for the same amount of time you have allotted to them.  It's like Pavlov's dog training by association:  They will find that whenever they go on and on about Gskid, they will bored to death by 'memories of my God child'.  Think of the enjoyment your will get when you see them forcing themselves to keep their eyelids from fluttering!

Jay_Dead's picture

Welcome, from another INTJ-A female.  We are a rare breed and there aren't many who can "handle" our personalities.  I can completely empathize with that you are going through.  Though I am a parent to two bios and a sparent to two skids, I am not a fan of other people's children.  Heck, I can barely tolerate mine at times.  You will come to find that if your successes and special events happen to align with anything skid related, you will not get any attention and just a passing acknowledgment, if any.  The skids reign in households where there is any guilt carried by the bioparent.  You will also find yourself on the receiving end of being taken for granted.  Everything you do for the skid will be expected and no one will truly appreciate the sacrifices you make for the skid.  Just brace yourself.  Softspoken SOs don't seem to have much testicular fortitude and are too permissive of others.  They don't like confrontation and allow others to have their way, even to their own detriment.  The skids are typically poorly raised, entitled and enabled because everyone feels "bad" for the kid being the product of divorce.  Everyone has a lifestory and each lifestory can bring bad experiences, but for some reason people have this idealized vision of what childhood should be like.  It's unrealistic; we don't live in that world.   I have learned to keep my earbuds handy and my space ready to escape to. Good luck!