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Is it normal...

colorado's picture

Submitted by colorado on Sun, 02/28/2010 - 8:26pm

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...to just hate the fact that my husband's kids from a previous marriage are part of our lives, and that his ex-wife is a part of our lives?

I'm 37. We've been married two and a half years. We have a little boy who just turned one.

We have shared custody -- one week at our house, one week at their mom's (with her new husband and 10 month old daughter). I thought this would all be ok. It's not. We dated for seven months, were engaged for seven months, and then were married ten months before getting pregnant. Anyway, I was already into this hook, line and sinker before I realized how annoying and not bright the kids are, and how annoying the ex-wife is. I could go on for pages but suffice it to say that in the past year, I also found out that my husband's mother, sister and brother also feel this way about his other children.

I find myself lashing out at my husband, whom I love, about his kids just because I am so ANGRY and BITTER -- this is my time to be happy with a husband I love and my beautiful little boy and I don't want these frickin' annoying stupid kids in my home, along with their skanky mother in our business. It's creating such a cloud over my life, and I just don't know what to do.

I'm rambling. I'm just so sick of it. I just found myself looking at custody calculators to see if we could afford to get rid of them and her. I'm angry because I know we can't. I'm angry because I hate having them here. I'm just ANGRY!

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 02/28/2010 - 9:23pm

I agree with JackieO.

I wrote a blog on this recently. Hopefully, it can help you and others in situations like yours. Here's the link:

http://www.steptalk.org/node/23210

I think your feelings of resentment are normal, but is it really the skids you resent? Whenever you feel the resentment building up, good ways to let go of it are running, doing yoga, going to do something you like, etc. That way, you feel happier and a happier you equals a happier family.

butterfly2010's picture

Submitted by butterfly2010 on Sun, 02/28/2010 - 9:36pm

HAVE THESE KIDS DONE ANYTHING TO YOU PERSONALLY FOR U TO HATE THEM SO MUCH?

u dont give much detail about why u hate them. and dont say u dont hate, cause by calling them stupid u obviously have ill-feelings for them.

colorado's picture

Submitted by colorado on Sun, 02/28/2010 - 9:38pm

Thanks for commenting you guys. I will definitely take a look at that blog. Jackie O, I know what you are saying is true but it doesn't make it any easier Smile Unfortunately the kids are here for half of our life -- we have them for one week then bio mom has them for one week, swapping on every Monday. It had occurred to me to go on vacation every other week but this hasn't proven to be financially feasible. Ha.

unbelieveable's picture

Submitted by unbelieveable on Tue, 10/18/2011 - 1:32am

this IS normal. you don't have to justify why you feel this way...it's normal. you came to the right place...