I'm so tired of being the evil stepmother
My story is a long and complicated one but I will try to keep the back story brief and vent with one issue at a time, so in that note here goes nothing.
My DH and I have been married for 4 years and been together for 9. I have 2 wonderful children from a previous marriage, my BS is 14 and my BD is 11. I pride myself on my children's behavior and actions as i was a single mom for many many years. They are 2 well rounded, respectful good kids. My DH has a 13 year old boy who is literally the spawn of satan! He is rude, manipulative, mean, obnoxious and all around a scary kid. His piece of crap BM has never really been in his life. She moved on from their relationship, formed a new family and moved out of state. Now I know what everyone's thinking, we'll that's why the kid is so angry, he's been abdounded by his mother. If it was only that easy. When I first met my DH I bought that excise because it seemed l ocial at the time. It's a load of crap. My SS has had a life of privilege and entitlement, everyone has spent their lives making excuses for his behavior and then over compensating and he's become a master manipulator. I been in his life since he was 5 years old and have tried to be the mother figure that he needs. The unfortunate thing is he really doesn't want a mom, he liked having everyone feel sorry for him and being the master of the universe.
His behavior always has been and continues to be completely out of control. He is mean and violent towards me and my children. He is a complete social outcast at school because all the kids are afraid of him. He's A bully and has even threatened to kill other people. Just the other day he tried to punch me in the face because he got yet another referral from school for his behavior. My DH does absolutely nothing! He yells and screams for about an hour and next thing you know the stupid kid is outside playing or in his room playing video games. Ya good job dad! I'm a stay at home mom so I'm the one that handles all the children on a daily business and it's something new every day. It can be something as simple as me asking SS to empty the dishwasher and he will look right at me and tell me to go f#!k myself or something as major as a violent outburst. He has absolutely no respect for me, my home or anything at all.
The unfortunate thing through all of this is my DH is not supportive of me at all. When an issue arises he tells me to stay out of it and let him handle it but then of course he requires me to do everything all day for the little brat. I'm so tired of being treated like crap and being used when it's convenient for everyone else. Something has to change because I am at my breaking point.
Make a plan, get a job and
Make a plan, get a job and leave. Sorry, but why go through it, why put your good children through it. Your dh is sacrificing you and your children. You can not fix what you are not allowed to fix and therefore you are just suppose to let you dh handle it and he dose not. Your dh apparently will allow ss to abuse you and your children. Not worth it.
Good luck sweetie!
Violent outburst? Call the
Violent outburst? Call the cops. 13YO boys can be adult man sized and shaped! As a SAHM, you are not paid enough to be endangering your safety like that. And think of your kids, too! They should feel safe and calm at home and can't because your DH wants his baby boy coddled. Your kids need you to make this right for them.
The police have been called
The police have been called in the past and I got reprimanded for calling the cops on a child. Nine times out of ten we play a he said she said game and I end up just walking away from the situation because his manipulatan just makes me sick. I know that both of u right about me needing to leave and move on, sometimes it just doesn't seem that easy.
PJSMiles.... you are missing
PJSMiles.... you are missing one other key issue here.
Every day that you stay, you teach your BS that this is how women should be treated. It's ok to yell, scream, threaten, and not protect them. It's OK to sacrifice them for someone else. After all, they are *just* women.
And every day you stay, your BD learns that this is what you are teaching her that love is supposed to look like. That she should look for and accept a man that allows her to be used, abused, beaten, threatened, and scared; because that is the picture of love you are stamping in her psyche.
Good job, Mom.
Huh? You're not an evil
Huh? You're not an evil stepmother. Your husband is a terrible father and husband. Take all of the guilt you feel and turn it into anger at your husband for allowing his woman to live in this mess. You don't have to leave, but if you want things to change, become the bitch that shakes him out of complacency. Demand parenting classes and counseling, and threaten to kick him out until he can protect you from his violent child. He's clearly the problem, from what you presented. He has failed as a parent and created a destructive person that he expects you to live with...I'd be PISSED!
Has he been given and
Has he been given and professional help to try and stop his bad behaviour? Your husband should treat you like his queen and no matter what he child did to you...he stands by you. If my skids raised a hand to me, jeez they would get a shock from me...and also my partner. He doesn't allow it. Your husband is the issue.
Is your marriage worth fighting for? If yes, you need to have a frank convo with your husband about the child and get him professional help.
I can't wrap my head around
I can't wrap my head around someone not having their own inner instinct to not know what to do in a situation like this but I am sorry you are experiencing this situation. I personally have a low tolerance for bullshit and quite frankly would give two shits about "why" someone turned out the way they did. If ANYONE tried to punch me in the face I would be gone, period, no talking to DH about what he was “going to do” because nothing would even need to be discussed because until the violent kid was gone I would be too BUT this is coming from someone with no children. BUT if I did have my own children and this went down I would certainly be contacting the police and while they spoke with him my ass would move my kids out of that house so fast heads would spin. No way would I allow my kids to be in that environment. Don't get me wrong I am all about working some shit out but I will not tolerate physical or mental abuse for me and certainly not for any kids I had. Get the hell out and let your DH deal with this shit, sounds like that would be the best medicine for him anyway.
If you are all stuck in the fact that you are a SAHM and have the mindset that you can’t leave because you have no job, etc… then you need to make a two week plan to get out. Go stay with family, get a job and make positive changes in your life and show your kids that you can be counted on to protect them.
Sounds like my 13ss. He has
Sounds like my 13ss. He has attacked me 3 times in the past year and a half. He must have forgot everytime he did that I used to cage fight lol. He just got off pro atiob.for credit card fraud and then just last week he socked kid in the mouth at thE gym we go to. I am at such a loss sometimes betweens his lies and manipumanipulation of his momy wife. Hes extreamly overweight and lazy as hell. If I try to get him motivated but his mom says im being to tough. Just last night he had a huge attitude and my wife finaly laid into him inforont of our whole family about how he is ruining our marriage and needs to get his shit together. Thats only after I bitched at.him for not knocking yesterday morning and him seeing me and her making love. I let him know clearly last night one more time from him either im gone or he is. Im not going to put up with his shit anymore. I love my wife but im not going to expose.my 3 yr old bio son to thid stuff. With the police its all how you handle rhe conversation with the. I wad so upset after my ss stole my business CC that the cop took him to his grandmas for his own protection. If you have a smRt.phone hit record everytime he even tried to conversate. Then your ass is covered. Say"hold on a sec" hit record then continue the conversation. Its saved me.way.more than once.
Get a lock for the bedroom
Get a lock for the bedroom door!!!!
Why are you worried about
Why are you worried about what your DH thinks if you call the cops? If HE doesn't man up and do his JOB to protect his wife, then you NEED to get law enforcement involved.
It is ALL on your DH. Call 911. Every damn time he throws a fit. EVERY TIME. If your DH fusses, TELL HIM that it is because HE won't protect you that you have to get someone involved who WILL.
If your DH gets pissed and leaves? Well, two birds with one stone. He doesn't sound like that great of a guy to lose.
If he talks like that to you
If he talks like that to you again you take your hand and slap the shit out of him. My son done that shit to me and I grabbed a belt and whacked his ass and he took the belt Away. If his mom isn't in The picture and you are you have to be that boys role model. If you can't handle him you go pay someone bigger than him to beat his ass, $20.00 bill will go Along way. You treat a bully like a bully. Give him a dose of his own medicine. Your DH just doesn't feel like dealing with it but if he feels like he could loose his wife then he may step up and be a real dad.