I was ready through your forums and I decided that I finally found others who are having the same general "issues" FH and I have having with his three children (9, 6 and 4) and their BM. I apologize now for such a long email.

- SD6 has recently become very rude when she see FH and I affectionate in any way (a simple kiss, holding hands, hug, etc) or if she sees a photo of the two of us she will bluntly and rudely say "You stay away from my daddy" or "You don't touch him, he's my daddy." FH and I have both sat down with her (together and separately) and explained that I will never "take away" her daddy and that I'm not replacing her BM. We've told her that she will always be daddy's little girl yet she still gets angry. This is a new thing. A few months ago, she made a little comment but this weekend she went off the deep end with it. I'm beside myself that she is so mad at me. I love FH dearly as well as all the kids. I want nothing more than for us to all be happy. I dont know what to do to make her feel better. The boys have never said any comments like that.

- SS9 is an emotional wreck. After about 6 months, we finally convinced BM that SS9 needs therapy. He's deeply emotional (cry at the drop of a hat, angry outbursts, etc.). He's been diagnosed with anger management disorder and depression. I'm not a fan of medicating children, so we've been trying to make that an absolutely last resort option. BM is convinced he needs medication after the first date, gets meds and starts him on it. Needless to say, she never told us. When he comes to stay with us (we have 50/50 custody), we never knew about the meds. When he is with us, he's always happy and outgoing. When he is with BM, she medicates him and makes him and the other kiddos stay indoors.

- SS4 is absolutely "all boy." The problem in that is he loves bodily functions! Ugg, I dont know what to do anymore. He will pass gas and belch at the table, we tell him to say excuse me and that we dont do that at the table. 5 minutes later he does it again! EVERY time, he gets put into timeout after dinner and he continues to do it. The other day, he got upset at SD6 because they all had to clean their rooms. He refused and SD6 (who is a mother hen) reminded him that if he doesnt clean his room, that I will and that all toys on the floor will go to church to children who appreciate the toys (I have yet to ever go on my "threat" of taking their toys away because, as of right now, they are afraid that they will have to do pack up their toys and lose them if they dont appreciate them). His reaction was to go into her room and urinate on her bed! He clearly does not want to do what anyone tells him. He wants to do what he wants to do and if he doesnt like your reaction (ignoring his comments, actions, etc so he gets no reaction), he will do it over and over until he gets into trouble regardless of how many times we tell him no.

- all three are in separate sports. We did that on purpose so that each has their own individual thing to do. they do so much together that i felt like they needed to have individual activities. SS9 is in karate, SS4 is in tball, football and basketball, SD6 is in gymnastics. SS4 and SD6 will go to everyone's sport and support them at practice and games. The problem is SS9 who will cry because he's "bored" or complain or argue, etc. Any suggestions on how to stop this would be great! We dont allow him to bring anything other than a book because that is all SD6 and SS4 are allowed to bring karate. We dont want anyone to be considered more special than another by being allowed to bring other things. does that make sense?

- Finally, BM is a lazy POS. She refused to get a job of any kind. Finally after 3 years of paying her nearly $2,000 in child support (in addition to child care, sports, medical bills, etc) she finally got a part time job and goes to school part time. She is taking an accelerated nursing course. She's practically failing and its only her 3rd semester. She takes schooling as a joke, so it makes the kids do the same. FH is finishing up his MBA and is trying to push the kids to understand that grades are very important. I dont know what to do about BM. She is a complete thorn in my side! She wants to stay at home and collect CS and government aid!!!!!!!!!!! How does one get government aid and $2,000 a month! We've calculated that she is bringing in nearly $3,000 a month in aid (child care aid, food stamps, SSI (SS9 had major surgery as a baby and is considered more than 40% disabled and wont be able to have a strenuous or physical career when he gets older is the short of it...thats a long story Ill get into one day), plus child support, electricity/gas aid, housing aid, etc). Ridiculous! FH and I buy all their clothes, medication, all sporting, all medical, all child care when we have them, and we dont spend $3,000 a month even with a mortgage and other bills!

She's always "broke" and we've stopped giving her money. If the kids want or need something, it has gotten to the point that she must provide receipts for what she wants, needs, etc and why she is already out of money. FH and I work very hard for our money and it just kills me that sits on her a** all day and hardly does anything to better herself or the kids.

Okay, I feel better now that I've gotten some venting out! I apologize for this being so long!