I'm going to blow my top!!
I have been sick, these past couple of days and I took a promotion at work to be one of the head chefs so ive been at work and battling a fever at the same time, well today I had to go in at 6am, I got to leave early because my boss was able to call the other chef in to cover my shift for the rest of the day. I get home around 11:30..
AND...
BM'S CAR WAS IN MY PARKING SPOT IN THE DRIVEWAY!!
We dont have a big driveway really only room for two cars, so I parked my car directly behind hers got out went inside.
AND...
BM is sitting at MY KITCHEN BREAKFAST BAR WITH FH...DRINKING COFFEE OUT OF MY COFFEE MUG!!
Their SS8 is sitting in the living room watching cartoons. So Fh KNOWS my standing point on not having her at OUR house and if they need to meet somewhere fine not at our house. needless to say I was P*ssed! for the past three days I have been working from 6am untill about anywhere between 11pm 12am, and then going back and doing it again.
FH looks at me and he knows by the look on my face that the roof is going to explode!
FH: Hey Ready I thought you were supposed to be at work?? (Notice how the first words were not hello, or hey honey, or how are you feeling???) (while he looks confused)
ME: I was but I havnt been feeling well so I thought I would come home and get some much needed sleep, I thought you were not going to be home untill later today? (he works out on a boat)
FH: Well something broke on the boat so i'm waiting for it to be fixed.
MEANWHILE Bm is still sitting there drinking coffee with a smirk grin thing on her face that just made me want to punch her!
ME: hmm, ok? Well why isn't ss8 in school??!?
FH: BM brought him over so I could spend sometime with him because it's my busy season, you know.
(AND YOU CANT DO THIS AFTER SCHOOL????)
ME: So, when is your boat going to be done?
FH: Sometime this evening
ME: What do you plan on doing with SS8 untill then
THIS IS WHEN BM SPEAKS UP
BM: We thought we would just hang out here for a while..
I was dumbfounded, here is this women who REFUSES to aknowledge my exsistance, EXCEPT when im doing something wrong, or needs something!!
so I went up to my bedroom and packed some cloths, as I was walking out the door, I told fh
ME: When your doing playing one big happy family call me!
FH: you cant just storm out
ME: uhm yes I can see I am!
so I left and went to my moms house. GAH this women is sof rusturating! I cant get rid of her she like a bad weed you pull her up and thounds more sprout up, FH knows i DONT want her in my home AND WHY THE HELL CANT YOU JUST SPEND TIME WITH YOUR KID AFTER SCHOOL!!?!?!
I AGREE
Yes I am!! FH and I HAVE MANY MANY THINGS TO DISCUSS AND THEN I WILL BE THE ONE TO DECIDE IF HE GETS TO STAY OR IF IM JUST GOING TO KICK HIS *SS OUT AND TAKE THE HOUSE FROMH IM...GOD HE IS AN IDIOT AND I JUST WANT TO LUNGE AT BM AND PUNCH HER!!
Ugh
What a crappy situation for you. No wonder you're going to blow. Everything your DH did is SOOOO disrespectful to you and to your relationship. I hope he is able to understand that.
Would have done the exact same thing
I would have done the exact same thing girl!! You had a good reaction and I soooo feel your pain and frustration. You need to sit down and have a talk with him...make it SO clear that he can never find a excuse to do something like that again! There is just no reason for things like that to happen in your house especially when he knows you don't want her there....you must of felt like you caught him with his pants down since he wasn't expecting you to be home so early....he should know better and show you more respect!
He's caught red-handed
His ex is there to break you up and she's succeeding...
because HE'S letting her.
He willing let's her into your home when YOU CLEARLY made it known that this is a bone of contention with you.
And he gave her YOUR coffee cup to drink from????
NO FREAKIN WAY!!!
It was quite obvious, from BOTH their faces, that when you showed up unexpectedly, HE was BUSTED and she was in her GLORY, eating it up.
He disrespected you big time and I'm very sorry for you. I would not put up with this at all. There are better men out there who will treat you with the respect you DERSERVE.
I would place the blame equally on both of them. This is too screwy for words and it's only going to continue. After all, SS is only 8!
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
Steensathome
I love your quote!
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
Thanks, and not to make light of your situation, but...
if it were true in your case, you would never have to deal with a situation like you had this morning!
AHHHH, to DREAM! }:-)
Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
Something to keep in mind
Something to keep in mind is: Has this happened before? If not, will it happen again? If you allow him back in, or move back, will you be secure knowing that this is a one time thing, and will not happen again? Or will you be woried everytime you're at work that BM is over at your house again? Will you be able to trust him again?
Yeah, I'd be done with him.
That is the worst. I agree with 2Bloved, how are you ever going to trust this guy? Be glad you aren't married to him. You can get out.
Stay with your mom indefinitely. You need time to think this through, and your BF needs to have enough time on his hands without you to see what life would (will) be like if (when) you're gone. He needs to think about whether having a cup of coffee with BM and lying to you was worth losing his GF for.
BB
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
It looks like there is ZERO respect
for you in this picture. He knew you weren't feeling well. He knew how you felt about having her in the house. And yet he did it anyway.
TBH, BM doesn't have to do anything for you. Its FH that has the responsibility of respecting your feelings and putting your relationship as a priority and he hasn't.
She is manipulating him and he is not seeing it. And that is where the problem stems from. I'm sure after you left she must've gave him the "I don't want any problems speech" making you look like the irrational one.
Think long and hard about what you want to do. Is it worth it?
With any luck perhaps BM
With any luck perhaps BM caught the "flu" from you after drinking from your cup! Maybe you can call them and warn them that they should all go get checked because your Dr. thought you had the N1H1 virus! Maybe that bit of elaboration would cause them a little well deserved anxiety!
I agree with all of the posters here - this was soooo disrespectful of you and your space. It makes me wonder how long this has been going on behind your back if you routinely work these long hours. Also, if he is that disrespectful it would be hard to trust anything he says in the future.
Total disrespect!! However..
I would not have been the one to leave. I would have told them maybe they could take "their" son to the park or wherever. I would have told that bitch to put down my coffee cup and get the hell out! I would have told FH to get out too!
"And this too shall pass..."
YOU WERE STILL WITH HIM?
You were smart enough to leave I hope you're smart enough to stay.
At the risk of smirking myself didn't I tell you this guy is not worth keeping.
Stop dreaming about the life you may have with this guy if you can just get him to understand your needs. He doesn't get it or doesn't want to.
A man marries a woman thinking she won't change.
A woman marries a man thinking she can change him.
Both are wrong.
*********************
There's an exception to everything I say.
OMG
be super proud of yourself for taking the high road! i have to admit i would have lost my f'n mind and probably would have physically thrown that bitch out of my house along with her snot nose brat........ and BF he would be shaking or shitting in his pants for what was next for him........
i agree with everbody ---- how could you ever trust him?
how did she know he wasn't working and you didn't?
Its Frusturating
I give BM my work sched every two weeks just in case something happens to ss8 and FH is out on the boat and she needs to contact us. FH said that he called her to let her know that he wasnt going to be able to take ss8 this weekend because he can haul sundays again, and right now he needs the money to pay her through for the winter and I guess she suggested that ss8 could spend the day with him. (Why ss8 can't just go to school like a normal kid IDK.) so he took the oppertunity and she was WILLING to drop him off. (Droping him off never ever happens)
So she was supposed to drop him off, but then she wanted to talk to FH about not working so much and spending time with his son. She also wants to doa messed up agreement with FH that if he takes his son for the "full amount of time" he is supposed to have him, she will 'knock' off 50$ a weekend and 100 for a school vacation....MESSED UP IF YOU ASK ME...which is only going to result in FH getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter when she wants all that money back.
AFTER I screamed bitched and yelled my lungs out at FH
Curently FH and I are on one word speaking terms. He will be back sunday and we ill talk more about it then, I told him we need to go to couples counseling, and he seems to think "There is nothing to fix" so we are in a hard spot but maybe we will be able to work through this see a counseler and make our relationship stronger..
(You have no idea how i just wanted to grab her by her hiar and haul her ass outta my house and put it in the ugly POS scion she has, but she looks like a lesbian and she has gained alot of weight after she had baby #2 so i didnt want to get lost under all of her bullshit)