I need some wise words/advice please!
Someone please give me some guidance! I have been with my fiancee for 2 years now and he has a 2.5 year old daughter who is pleasant to be around. She was concieved from a one-night stand and the mother did not know who the child belonged to. After the child was 7 months old, testing was done, and it turned out to be my fiancee's. Now that my fiancee knows the child is his, he does everything to be in her life. However, the mother of the child did not know at the time she went looking for the baby's dad that he was in a relationship. So, needless to say, the mother hates me and does everything she can do ruin our relationship and harrass me. If he won't be with her, and the other guy (who she thought the baby belonged to) won't be with her, then none of us can be happy. All of this back and forth fighting has only made me resent the child and my relationship. I feel bad because she's a kid! That's not a nice thing to say about a child! But I can't help but feel like I wish she wasn't in my life! I wish everything was how it was when we started dating, and I didn't know about this kid...neither of us did! Will this get any better? Or, am I doomed to a life of unhappiness? I don't want to end my relationship, but I'm at that point...I need some wise words!
She wants a husband
That's the thing, though! The BM doesn't want a father for her daughter, she wants a husband or boyfriend! When she found out I was in the picture, she refused to let my fiancee see his daughter and she will not cooperate with child support. That's how great of a man I have, he put HIMSELF on child support!! And she will not accept it! Crazy, right? She keeps telling him how it was a mistake to tell him that the child might be his, but she did and now she has to deal with it! She makes me out to be such a bad person when I don't even give her the time of day, but yesterday we had court and she bashed me out of nowhere! Saying I'm a threat to the child because I'm jealous that they have a baby together and I will take it out on the child...INSANE! I have my man AND her kid, so what would I be jealous of??? And even if I was, what kind of person takes anger out on a child??? I'm beside myself. I had a talk with my future husband last night and I feel better knowing that he loves me and that she is just a little annoyance that we're going to have to deal with, but he doesn't want me to let her get to me, and he'll stand by my side through everything.
Ok- Listen to Steve here...CAREFULLY
"Repeat - you will be spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE with her and there is no way around that fact even if you move to the North Pole. If she hates you now she will probably continue to hate you years from now."
You are not dealing with a rational person here. You said it yourself- she's crazy! And you can't try and rationalize an irrational mind. It doesn't have to make sense. And it never will.
If you stay with this man, you are in for a LONG ROAD with this woman...and all signs lead to CRAZYTOWN! Please read some of these posts that include the word "crazy" or "unstable" and get yourself an eye-opening education.
Please know, she will be more than "a little annoyance". Even if she gets a new man. Even if she has another child down the road. Even 10 years from now. Oh, trust me. I am living it.
You may adore your FH but please seriously educate yourself before the "I DOs".
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"