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I need some major advice

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:11pm

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When my husband and I first met things were great between his dd, myself and him. Over time things started getting weird and I all of a sudden felt like I didn't know how to act around her. So I started to not look forward to her coming over because I felt just weird the whole time she would be with us. Over time it just seemed to snowball an get worse. I thought when I had our baby it would be different. But was wrong. It got worse. My resentment and dislike for her only got stronger an I was starting to show that to my husband. I'm so over this already. I want things to go back to the way they were. I don't know how to get out of this rut I'm in with my feelings towards her. But I just want it to go away. I feel like it's been so long that I have had this crappy attitude about her that idk how else to think of her. But I'm so tired of it. I want to look forward to her coming over again. I want to look forward to taking her out and doing things with her like we use to. Her and I use to get along so well . But I've disengaged myself so much idk what to do. Sad

BDawson's picture

Submitted by BDawson on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 1:00pm

Has something changed? How old is the girl?

I went thru this with SD5..... I think the "newness" of the situation wore out and her true self became apparent...one phrase from her really bothered me...the famous " why are you trying to act like my mom?"..... I had fumes! If I was your mom.............lol!!!!!

christinen's picture

Submitted by christinen on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:23pm

I know how you feel, to an extent. I don't have any bios but DH and I are ttc and I am trying to prepare myself for my resentment of SD to worsen when I get pregnant & then probably again when I have the baby.

I've never felt that closeness to my SD (she's 6 now but was just 1 when DH and I started dating). I think more of my issue with her though is all the bs BM has put us through. She made it her mission in life to try to come between DH and I and she flat out said she wants to "ruin DH's marriage and his life." It's hard to feel love toward the spawn of a person like that, not to mention she looks & talks just like her.

Disengaging helps our sanity but I believe it hurts our relationships. I had to disengage from SD after years of trying to help DH parent her but not being appreciated or listened to. SD and I are definitely not as close as we used to be (we used to go shopping, get hair done, nails done together, etc.), but that is just part of disengaging I guess.

How old is your SD? Maybe, if you really want to work on your relationship, you could plan a girls day and take her out and do something fun and try to enjoy it like you used to?