You are here

I feel guilty but don't really like his kids.

marsaidstep's picture

I don't like his kids. Don't get me wrong. I want nothing but the best for them and I wash them no ill will. I care about their well being. However I do not like his kids. They are entitled, whiney brats who I do not enjoy being around over half the time. I have known them for 6 years and have come to the conclusion I do not like them and it is getting worse. Some of the time I do enjoy their company but most of the time I do not. They are very entitled and they are never happy with anything, always complaining about something even though they have it very good. I always have to hear from them about how bio mom did this and that better. Or bio mom likes this and that. They talk over us and interrupt constantly and no one corrects them when we are having conversations, or at least trying to. They are not resilient whine constantly about everything. Don;t like what we are watching on tv? Whine. Don't want to go to bed at 9pm? Fake cry. They fake cry if they do not get their way. How come an 8 year old has to be tucked in and said goodnight too multiple times a night and cannot his own glass of water? Talk about clingy.  Why would a child fake cry because they do not like their food at a restaurant? Why do they not use their forks when they eat? Why do they never say please or thank you unless told to say it constantly? 

Kes's picture

You have a tongue in your head, don't you?  Why don't you come down on these kids like the wrath of God when they misbehave so badly?  I tell my 6 yr old grandson off for whining, when he comes to visit with his mother - I just can't stand the sound and it's my house, my rules.  

What does their father do when they kick off?  sounds like he must be totally ineffectual.  

marsaidstep's picture

Because whenever I say something to his kids he goes off on me and defends them or if he's in a good mood he says "Why can't you just enjoy being here ?" He doesn't see anything wrong with their behaviors until it's gone on for way too long then he ends up yelling at them and they start crying. But that's only after they start throwing food, punching one another or something big happens. The constant whining, interrupting and rude comments don't seem to bother him. He says "they are just kids being kids."

Rags's picture

Damn straight it is your house and your rules. If kids are in your home. They comply with your rules. If mommy and daddy have a problem with that, leave the ill behaved kids at home when they visit.

My parents kept the GrandSpawn under control when they visited.  The kids still oved visiting and to this day when asked where they consider home to be they all say my parent's home.  The Gkids are my son (former SS adopted 5 years ago when he was 22) 27, my niece 25, my nephew 22 and my youngest nephew 17.

We are a multigenerational Expat family and after my parents retired from their 40+ year international adventure and built their home my bride and I and my brother and his wife started our international adventure.

Home is mom and dad's.

Kiwi_koala's picture

If it's any consolation I don't like my boyfriend's kids either. Why do you feel bad for not liking them? Some humans are not likeable whether they're a child or adult. My boyfriend's 6.5 year old is only here eowe and she will ask when she's going home, says she misses her mother and that's after not seeing her for one day. She always wants to be entertained, talks all the time, doesn't have any responsibilities, makes a mess everywhere she goes. Needless to say, she's far better than your step kids and I still wish she never came here. Just accept how you feel. You're a human being.

still learning's picture

They're his kids so he's the one who has to like them. They sound entitled and spoiled which is completely the fault of the parents, including your SO.  

Loki's picture

and If he wants you to have a better more enjoyable relationship with his children he needs to up his parenting game and mould them into people worth having a relationship with.

Iamwoman's picture

You don't need to feel guilty at all for not liking your husband's children. They sound like horrible brats.

Guilt is a feeling that should be reserved for when you have done something that hurts or otherwise poorly affects another person's life, undeservedly.

Your husband should feel guilty for stressing you out via his lack of proper parenting.

All fo that whining and crying would indicate a very sleep-deprived child in my book. Those children would be sent to take a nap or go to bed early every time they whine or cry in my household. There is no adult on the face of this planet that enjoys the sound of a child whining or crying.

markwvualum's picture

If your bf would parent his kids they would be more likable. He fails to realize that no one likes entitled brats.

ESMOD's picture

I guess he doesn't realize that you aren't correcting them to be mean.. it's because you want them to be better people so they are welcome in society.  

I don't hate your kids.. I dislike their behaviors.. you let them get away with things.. No one wants to be around people who constantly whine.. can't say please or thank you.  Yes they are kids.. they don't come with manners and the ability to be perfect human beings.  It's HIS job to make sure his kids don't grow up to be people that other people avoid and laugh at behind their backs.

marsaidstep's picture

I agree and I do not think he ever truly understood this. I want what is best for his kids and allowing them to act disrespectfully and entitled on a regular basis is not helping them.

feliciastory's picture

Don't feel guilty. These are normal feelings considering your situation. If he cares about his kids he will parent them better.