I feel distant from everyone in my house... Even my unborn child..
This is only getting worse. Today DH and his ex- wife are supposed to have a child support conference by phone. With her being at the actual place and him on the phone, since we are in another state than her. But as of last night she has told him she is not going and to enjoy paying child support. When they were actually trying to figure out a way to have it completely stopped in the first place.
Needless to say for the last two weeks his checks have only been 96$. I am on SSI, so I only get paid once a month. So far we have one small bottle for my unborn child, and clothes. Nothing else. I have put an ad on craigslist for things, called the places that noramlly help with the main stuff they need, but no luck. I normally pay the rent and he normally pays the light bill. Then before all the crap happended with ex wife, we ended up being able to get a vehicle from a friend and were paying her 100 dollars a month. Haven't been able to do that this month. So I can see us losing the vehicle too.
On top of all that, the hospital I have to have my unborn child in is 30 minutes away and my new ob is also 30 minutes away. I am due June 4th. But no one thinks I will even make it the next few weeks, if I do ill be shocked. But I have noticed that for the last week we have not been sleeping in the same room. I am upstairs he stays down stairs.
So for the last two days I just haven't talked to anyone in the house, including my own two kids. I am basically trying to make my self numb, its working a little, but I have a feeling something else is going to make me snap here really quick like.
I literally feel like a person that just needs to go crawl in a hole and never come out. :sick: 
This seems like a really
This seems like a really tough situation. I think you need support, right away. Is there anyone that can stop by with takeout or something and just hang with you for a couple of hours? You need to be able to ramp down this tension to the point that you can deal.
Unfortunately my family and
Unfortunately my family and friends are 2-3 hours away. :sick: I have only one friend in this town and I rarely see her, not only that she is the one that is letting us "use" the vehicle. The only other people I even talk to are on facebook. So its just me, dh, my kids, my ss. DH family lives here, but I won't go to his aunt with my problems one bit. His family is the family that doesn't want to hear about any thing related to anyones problems. So trust me I don't even bother.
He may need to get a
He may need to get a different job, like waiting tables or delivering pizzas. I know it sounds crazy, but at least he would have a little bit of cash he can take home on a nightly basis, and the child support can still be taken out of his check.
Do his children live with you
Do his children live with you guys full time and he is still paying child support to the mother?
Well she lives in Texas,
Well she lives in Texas, Texas law states that if one child lives with one parent in one state and another child lives with the parent in Texas. They have to pay child support to one another. (His daughter, lives with her). But she all of sudden contently lost her job yesterday.
Umm... you haven't talked to
Umm... you haven't talked to your own 2 kids in 2 days? Hon, you need some help NOW. I'm not a doctor (I don't even play one on TV) but this sounds like clinical depression to me. You do not have to live like that. Go to a walk in clinic, call your OB, SOMETHING. Tell them what you posted here. They can help, really.
Yes, please talk to SOMEONE.
Yes, please talk to SOMEONE.
Oh I realize I need help.
Oh I realize I need help. But my mental health doc has already told me I can't take the actual doses of my medications I should be on. So I am only takeing 150mg of depression medication I am on once a day, when supposed to take it three times a day. They took me off my other medication that I take with the depression medication. I have my anxiety pills but they are too low a dose to even do anything when I go into anxiety. So basically I am just stuck dealing with it.
I am supposed to see my community support person today, and I am going to, but I won't talk to her about whats going on. I already feel like she is out to judge me or even have me locked up.
I also suffer from schizo-effective disorder, with a few other things as well. Besides the depression.
I'm so sorry you're dealing
I'm so sorry you're dealing with all that, it must be really tough having all that on top of being 8 months pregnant!
Does it help at all to remember that you've only got one more month of pregnancy and then you can take the proper doses again?
Vent here in the meantime, and I hope the time flies by!!
Do you have a local pregnancy
Do you have a local pregnancy center? What about a planned parenthood? Do you attend any kind of church?
If all you have are bottles and clothes and a baby due in a month you really need some help. Planned parenthood should have some resources for you. I used to volunteer at a pregnancy center and they will be able to give you everything you need- diapers/formula/car seat if you qualify for the financial assistance.
Your DH needs to do some side work. Do you have anything around that you can sell?
We don't have a planned
We don't have a planned parenthood here, but we have a place called birthright also baby boost. Called both of them they can't help. As far as churches go, there is like a thousand different churches in this town. But I have no clue as to how to even go about dealing with a church.
How would I go about doing that?
Well, at my church, if
Well, at my church, if someone needs help usually the priest will just ask if anyone can help with such and such situation either as an announcement after mass or in the church newsletter and tend to keep the families anonymous. In the past they have asked for gently used clothing for a 5 year old boy and 12 year old girl, canned food etc. Around Christmas it's usually toy donations for unemployed families etc.
I would contact the church office and ask the secretary if you can meet with the reverend/priest etc., or even ask if they could post in their weekly newsletter for gently used baby item donations.
I would hope that a church wouldn't turn you away just because you aren't a member.
Well I have also done
Well I have also done freecycle.org as well, yet again nothing, that was a month ago. Well they are on the conference call now. My community support person has given me a calendar with dates on it for groups they have that go out during the week. Unfortunately, the groups are all scheduled around the time that DH hubby works. I am still waiting to find out the end up result after he gets off the conference with them. My community support person has even suggested we meet two times a week, just to get me out of the house for a while. Which I gladly agreed to, even though honestly I really don't like her all that much. But at this point I am willing to be around who ever just to get away from this house! After he gets off the call I will update everyone again.
I'm sorry to hear you are so
I'm sorry to hear you are so sad. Look on the free stuff listings on Craigs list, you can find a lot of stuff there. As long as you can wash everything really well, steam everything, you should be able to find lots of stuff you may need for the baby,
Ask the doctor to make sure
Ask the doctor to make sure you can't have more children. Not to be mean but you just can't have more after this one and end up having them all taken away. Make sure this is the last one.
Oh I signed the paper already
Oh I signed the paper already to have tubes fixed, next day after son is born!
On a better note: the conference went better than I thought. She is to pay him 31 a month and as for him 13 dollars will be taken out of his check every week to pay for his daughters health insurance there. So that is a better deal than what it was.
Also I have now found a job that I will be doing at home. So that makes things a little easier on me. Also have been offered a job placement when the school year starts in august to work with my husbands job being an aid on the bus for mentally/physically handy capped kids. I have been also told that I can get child care, the place just needs my working schedule.
Ironically the reason I got the job offer for physically and mentally handy capped kids on the bus is because his boss asked everyone if they knew of anyone that was able to "understand" physically and mentally handy capped that would work great with them.
Little story behind that:
My brother who is only 13 months younger than I am has cerebral palsy, a shut in his head, and a feeding tube in his stomach. He is wheelchair bound and has always been wheelchair bound for as long as I was growing up. On top of that i know personally about mental illnesses.
So his boss asked him to make the offer to me for august. Which I will decide when time gets closer. So right now I definitely feel much better.
Thank goodness! I'm really
Thank goodness! I'm really happy for you that some things are falling right for you!!
Ya me too. Now I feel I can
Ya me too. Now I feel I can actually breathe. Its a very nice feeling lol. DH has also made plans that sometime tomorrow we are going to do something without the kids. Whether that be food shopping or just walking around the park. So I totally agreed to that lol.