Hello all! I will try to keep this short, not very good at this! But I read your posts quite often and I would appreciate any input you can give me.I've been living with my husband for nearly two years. I moved right in with him after a long distance relationship. We are both in our mid fifties and had not seen each other in over 30 years but totally in love. He has two Daughters 19 and 21. #19 moved out a little over a month ago and moved an hour away. Thank you lord above. She and her dad would creep me out so bad and I left once for a few weeks with the intent of NOT going back., but ended up doing so when he promised she would get her own place soon. It was pure hell with her here. She grew roots on the sofa with her face in the phone and either cartoons playing all day or nearly x rated shows on the telly. :jawdrop: I am a virtual assistant and my "office" is in the dining room., where she was planted the majority of the time. With my assistance she finally got her license.
And that gave me some alone time. DH is very touchy feely with her and she eggs it on. He has always treated her like she is 5 years old. We have had MAJOR blow outs over this, I told him she is too big to be playing footsies with her father and he needed to see that when he acts like this it's CREEPS me the hell out. :sick: And her room and bedroom?? absolutely disgusting. Now #2 comes home from college and man oh man did I get a wake up call. Along with her is her boyfriend and we have a fairly small home so it was crowded to say the least, and LOUD. Partying all night, in and out all hours of the night. Crap strewn from one side of the house to the other. Messes left in the kitchen that I busted my butt cleaning, which is no small task since I suffer from Fibromyalgia:-/ I'd walk out of the bedroom at 2am (Insomnia)with all the sofa full of kids watching the telly and cooking and baking (Which wakes me up)We had so many blow outs I actually am surprised I've made it this far without throwing in the towel. He can be VERY VERY loud and hateful if I say ANYTHING he disagrees with. I digressed again lol. So, now, with #19 in her own place.. here comes #21 home from college. I had told my husband that it has been like a honeymoon with the place to ourselves for the first time in nearly 2 years.. We dont argue (AS much) he doesn't go off on me as bad. Now day one in and he is turning back into Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. I stayed in the bedroom most of the day yesterday because every time I got around him, he would find an excuse to hurt my feelings. Is this normal for husbands to do this?? He cuts me off when I make suggestions on how to get #21 to be self sufficient. He pays for her insurance and food ($500 bucks this month) I dont think she works. We are trying to save for a home (Moving in August-YAY) BUt when I suggested that she hand over her paycheck and bank statement, oh no hell broke loose again. Im to the point where I just want to leave whenever they are around. I had no idea how having adult step kids at home would work. nill. They hate me for making them clean up and enforcing rules and here they are:
(NO baking or cooking after 10pm) make a sandwich or order a pizza. (they burned just about everything and the smell of smoke in the wee hours of the night is NOT comforting)
Pick up after yourselves. (Socks, shoes,EVERYTHING sew everywhere)
Clean your rooms once a week and keep the spare bath clean. (HAHAHA no)
Load the dishwasher, if its full, unload it!
Dont barge into our room whenever you feel like it
If the house isn't on fire, or they are not being chased by a crazed clown, or had an accident... dont text or call after our door is shut for the night.
I have NEVER seen either one of them pick up a broom, mop or vacuum.
I have disengaged with the girls (Thanks to reading your posts here)But I am to the point of doing the same with HIM. I feel hurt most of the time and disrespected by all of them. I appreciate any advice. And BTW he is/was a Disney dad (Learned that for here lol) Hugs