I know there are a lot of SM on here that don't really get along with their SKs but I'm definitely not one of them. My SS calls me mom, we have a great relationship... he even calls me mom to BM. And surprisingly she has never made a comment of it. So is it bad that I feel that I can't trust BM with SS? I feel like my heart is getting torn out of my chest every time he leaves with her. And lately he's gone a long time without seeing her, but still when he goes, I constantly worry and just feel like "my" child is being taken without my consent. Even though every time SS asks to see her, I get the final say of if he can or not. My DH asks for my opinion on everything, and not that it's necessarily my place, I'm a very big part of SS's life and my opinion does count to DH and BM.
SS went 6 weeks without seeing BM and she never once tried contacting us for visitation (she's supposed to visit EOW) But doesn't really want him. So it takes for SS to break down and cry is eyes out before she will understand that he misses her. And let me tell you, it's the hardest thing in the world to see him go through that. But still I feel a little pang in my heart that I'm not good enough. And I know I will never replace the bond SS has with BM but it still hurts to know that I'm his mom, but because this woman gave birth, she has that special touch. (You have to understand that even BM treats it like I am his mom and she just "babysits" him on occasion. And she seems fine with that.) So when he finally went to see her, he came home complaining about seeing BM and her husband hitting eachother and the cops got called and he was scared and crying and thought he was going to get hurt. I mean it was really rough for him to see. Then he goes 2 months, no call or anything from BM. DH texts her to see what's going on and she tells him how her husband is in jail for assault on her and threatening to kill their 14 month baby. But that it's not a good time for SS to visit. Well if he's in jail, then why can't she see her son??? So a couple weeks later he finally broke down about he misses his mom and needs to see her. So she consents to get him, but her husband is out of jail now... it makes me really uncomfortable to get SS involved in that. Who's knows what this man could do. And yes he has put his hands on SS before. It's just a mess... and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. If SS didn't beg, she would never visit him... she's asked me to take custody before... do I see if she still feels the same? Or do I let her deal with her business? I just am so afraid when he's there that something will happen. And I just can't handle it sometimes... ugh.... I really needed to vent... It's a hard thing to go through....