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What a liar

Nymh's picture

BM said that she had dropped her charges against BF and is begging us to do the same, claiming it's what's "best for SS" blah blah blah. Well, yesterday BF had his lawyer call and check on things. Imagine our suprise to find out that she hadn't actually dropped her charges. This is just classic BM. Just trying to manipulate us a lie to us and expect us to just believe her. Did she think we were just going to blindly believe her and not even check?

I keep telling BM that the best thing we could do is get SS into counseling so that we can find out how he really feels and he can talk to someone who is unbiased and he won't have to worry about telling them what they want to hear or what won't hurt their feelings. For the past several weeks she has said that SS is seeing a counselor but won't tell me who it is. Then she says that that's confidential information and if BF wants to know who SS is seeing then he needs to call her and ask. Well since she hasn't mentioned to him that SS is seeing a counselor, it's HER responsibility to give him that information. And since they have joint legal custody it's against the parenting plan for her to have enrolled him in counseling without his consent anyway. AND it's her responsibility to give him the contact information of the counselor and the results, receipts, etc. He could sue her for contempt of court yet again if she does not share this information, not to mention for placing him in counseling without his consent in the first place. But since she's not done any of this and continues to refuse to give out this information, I'm assuming that this counselor is just another made-up person that she's fabricated to support her story. She claims that it is an unbiased party who just happens to be getting the exact same information out of SS that she is - he hates me, he doesn't want to be around his father, he wishes we'd leave him alone, blah blah blah. It's convenient that the only people who have ever been on her side are people that she's made up. It's even more convenient that she hasn't responded to me at all since I brought up that she's in contempt for hiding this information from BF and doing these things without his consent.

I'm just so fed up with this woman and all of her lies. I can't believe that she would contact me under the premise of making things better on SS and have the nerve to continue to lie and attempt to manipulate us. It's just so dispicable that after all these years of us dealing with her bulls$%^ she's not only trying to blame everything on us, but continues to lie and manipulate instead of just working with us which would be so much easier and better for everyone! What is wrong with this woman? She seriously needs help!

Comments

stepup's picture

Why do you keep engaging the BM? YOU talking to her just gives her more opportunities to lie and attempt to manipulate you. I think Nymh, that you need to take a step back, and let BF deal with BM. Honestly, since you guys aren't even married yet (and yes, it shouldn't matter but it does) you shouldn't be having any contact with her anyway. Stop talking to her, you're just feeding into the drama. Let BF do all the contact work.. and you be his cheerleader.. his support and his rock. And honestly, I'm not sure either of you should be talking with her at this point (check with your lawyer though) with everything that's on the table, it just seems like speaking with her at this point is pointless and only likely to cause more issues in the long run.

Just my two cents,

Stepup

Nymh's picture

All of this talking that I'm speaking of has only been within the past 48 hours. Before that it was months since the last time I spoke to her. The only reason I even engaged was because she said she had some ideas on things we all could do to make things better on SS. Since this is something that I really hold dear to my heart I wanted to know what her ideas were. Imagine my suprise that it was just her way to blame everything on us and try to manipulate and lie to us some more.

Maybe it wasn't right to talk to her but when she said that she had ideas on how to make the situation better for SS, I couldn't help but find out what those ideas were. I had hoped that she was sincere, but unfortunately she wasn't.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

laughterandtears's picture

SHe would call wehn she KNEW my DH, then BF, was not home and start off telling me how she wanted us to just get along and how it wold be better for the kids, blah, blah, blah, then she would drop whatever bombshell she had for that day i.e. by the way, I'm not going to let the kids visit this time... HUH? So nicey nice at first and then BAM!! the truth comes out. It's always a way to get what she wants, anything to get her way. It always has been.

As for letting BF deal with her, My DH never could. He is a bit simple when it comes to what his rights were and that what she said wasn't how it should be and she steamrolled him so many times that it took me stepping in and dealing with her before he realized how full of hot air she is and give him the courage to stand up to her.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

septembers_child's picture

My suggestion is that if their is ANY MORE communication between either you and DH with BM that it be in writing, such as in the form of emails..

Nymh's picture

I only speak to her in the form of email. BF usually keeps it to email but if they do speak on the phone he records the calls.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*