If the tables were turned, what would you hope he would do?

I left my ex after he told me I was selfish, irresponsible, & not qualified to be a mother. Now, given he was controlling & arrogant, I take it for what it's worth.

What helped me decide I needed to leave was understanding that forever is a long time to be with someone who feels that way about me. I didn't feel it was fair to me to waste my days with someone who would never be able to see beyond his "glorious" self to appreciate me & what I have to offer. Obviously, someone who feels that way about me can't respect me. It wasn't fair for me & wasn't fair to expect him to spend forever with someone he felt that way about.

The only way he'll know what you're feeling is for you to tell him. It isn't fair to keep letting it fester inside you while he remains oblivious to it. Clearly, if he thinks you don't need to go to therapy anymore, he isn't aware of how serious an issue this is in your marriage.

In your situation, you don't love your husband. You cringe when he touches you, & he knows these things. If he felt that way toward you, would you want him to stay?

Don't stay out of pity. You both deserve better than that.

You deserve a life with someone you love & respect. Not someone you can put up with & deal with. He deserves a life with someone who loves & respects him. Not someone who's simply willing to deal with him.

maybe your meds are not working for you. also depression and depression meds can cause what you are feeling. my best friend had a similar situation and they changed her meds around and sex drive and attraction came back. she almost ended her marriage as well but things finally turned around for her. good luck!

I feel for you. What a yucky place to be. After I had my daughter, I sort of went through a time like this. After about six months it passed. For me, I had to just ask myself, "what do you want?" go or stay. It's the back and forth feelings that drove me crazy. In the end, like everyone has mentioned, you have to be happy. If you're not happy in your marriage, your husband probably isn't either. He's probably just hoping to snap out of it.

Do you feel this way because of the skids, or because of him?

I know in my case I lost so much respect for GG when I saw the way he cried solidly for two weeks after the breakup with the Behemoth; supposedly over his children; when he thought that she would "let" him see the skids as often as he liked. . .things that make you go hmmmm. Nothing was prearranged or talked about. He just showed up on my doorstep after the Behemoth kicked him out with nothing but the shirt on his back. That was the day that I *should* have said "no sorry, get your shit in gear first before you enter my life." I regret it disturbed Awesomeson's education as well; it was at a critical time in his life when he had lost his biodad and was a Junior in High school.

GG then felt as though he owed her his ENTIRE salary for the rest of his life; I am not making this up! He actually thought it was my DUTY out of love for him and some sort of "penance" for having fell for his unrelenting advances even though he wanted out of the marriage and knew it was over for YEARS!!

Then I saw the way he kissed his candy-assed children's nether quarters to keep in the Behemoth's good graces and almost overnight started snapping at me and treating me as a slave to the "first family." Then he was fully willing to live off of me and be taken full advantage of in divorce court and financially by the Behemoth rather than "pay some attorney his hard earned money." I said "so you'd rather pay the Behemoth 10,000 times the amount you'd pay an attorney over the years?" He unreasonably said "yes" because he knew it would be MY money that he was supported with while he threw money at his first family. His kids were and still are trouble in the making and I have NO desire to associate with them as they are just like mommykins. Spoiled, entitled and egotistical. I bailed him out of trouble that the Behemoth cooked up more times than I can remember, yet have never, to this day, EVER been appreciated for it.

He has developed a drinking problem and he has often been very verbally abusive and physically abusive a few times. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not plotting to exit. The fact that I foolishly got myself financially entangled with him by buying a house so he could be "closer to his kids" (TM) is pretty much the only thing keeping me where I am today. . . that and the fact that he would easily oft me if I were to cut off his meal ticket by throwing him out before I could even pick up the phone to dial 911.

I would examine your true feelings and why you feel the way you do, perhaps writing them down. Then making an informed decision after that.

I do think that contacting your doctor for a possible change of meds may be in order. I would also try more counseling. A counselor can teach you behavior modification that can help depression without meds. You may still have post-partum or that may be adding to your already existing depression.

I would also start a journal for yourself where you don't censor what you feel. Someday you may get something out on paper that you haven't consciously thought about.

I would work on those kind of things for 6 months at least before you make any sort of decision about leaving or staying.

Try different meds. I have suffered on and off with it as well. Over the years I have tried several. Some work better than others.

Also, I think you need to tell him this and talk about therapy again. Or try an activity that is just for you two. No kids involved. For DH and I it is ballroom dance lessons. Never thought that would work but it has....Funnier than hell, but it puts us on even ground and it makes me remember what I liked about him before BM and SD did their damage.

For my first husband we traveled a lot together and golfed. You have to find something that is just for you two.