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I am so sick of BM's excuses!!

hbell0428's picture

Okay, I have SD14 - bd12, bs5, bs9 - BM hardly EVER sees SD EVER!! And to boot gives us $0.0. each month!! Before we had SD we gave her $ and more on top and even spent extra on activities, clothes, etc......

Now that WE have her BM has done nothing! I am not saying I want half her paycheck but.....really!?!??! Throw is a bone! Lunch money even...I keep telling DH to take her to court but he won't!! I have no idea why. We are not RICH either and she is getting expensive....as all teenage girls do!! It makes me so mad because it takes away from the things I/my children were used to doing and getting?/ Any tips??

liks's picture

get 112 bucks a month from wanker father to my 3 kids

there isnt a damn thing you can do....waste of time taking them to court as they will just get smarter and smarter -

In the end if they dont wanna pay they wont....

I know too many other women in the same situation as me and these men have been getting away with it for years....

Disneyfan's picture

Since dad won't take mom to court, force him to pay for all of SD's needs. Do not help him with any $$$ for her.

Let him know when he forces her mom to do her part, then you'll be happy to help out.

Newstep's picture

Good idea Disneyfan. That is my plan if BF ever reverts back to supporting his adult DD's. BF pays BM 1700.00 per month for SD which is a little less than 1/2 his paycheck. He could barely make it on what he has left, my income goes into our joint account. We have no debt other than BM so we do ok . His ODD's call all the time for money and so would SD12 when she was at her BM's and he would just dish it out. I told him if wanted to continue to do that we are no longer combining our funds. Then he could funnel all the money he wanted to his DD's. He stopped it really quick!! I penciled it out for him on how much he was paying and still giving in addition to the CS. It was an eyeopener for him and he put the brakes on all extra money. If the adult DD's need something we talk about it and decide together he no longer just doles out the money. Thank Goodness!!!

Willow2010's picture

Since dad won't take mom to court, force him to pay for all of SD's needs. Do not help him with any $$$ for her.

Let him know when he forces her mom to do her part, then you'll be happy to help out.

+++++++++++++++++++++++
I understand this idea, but it may backfire on her if the other three kids are only hers.

Do you work hbell?

Anywho78's picture

My SO also refused CS for quite awhile...I now get "coffee money" every month because after months of him SENDING IT BACK TO HER, I broke it down Barney style...SHE HAD THEM, IT'S HER JOB TO HELP SUPPORT THEM...why should (we steps) be "stuck" with supporting Skids because these men think BM shouldn't have to pay??? WE didn't spawn them, WE didn't make that choice, BM did...if BD's are expected to pay, what makes a BM any different?

This topic REALLY gets me agitated...I'm angry for you!

Don't get me wrong...I have no problem spending money on the Skids...but she HAS to do her part!

Honestly, BD needs to man up & do what's right in this situation...he needs to take her butt to court for CS...end of story!

Disney's right though, if BM isn't paying CS, leave all financial care for SD to your DH, maybe then he'd see why CS is necessary.

Good luck to you!

Lauren1438's picture

I competently agree with everyone. It is crazy Our BM has the kids 50% and she doesn't work (never has) so my FDH pays for everything, it is crazy. FDH's father took the girls to Disneyland last moth and paid for everything, plane ticket, hotel food, ect. So both FDH and I sent down money with them for extras like mouse ears, autograph book, stuffed animals ect... and what did BM do nothing the girls were down there for two 1/2 weeks personally I think she should not have gotten her full months child support. Its bull shit. Then when we took the girls back to BM place she demanded that all the things they brought back go to her home. I laughed and said ok her is the total on all the items $250 you give me that and I will be happy to bring their new mouse ears, stuffed animals and everything else over. She didn't like that took much. They are not my Bio kids but I have treated them like it and I support them financially and emotionally a hell of a lot more than BM, after all BM only spends FDH's money.

hbell0428's picture

Thanks for all the input! It is such a diff situation; I know SD needs stuff; but we have poured money on her for the past couple of weeks......BM get her 2 things in 2 months and she is a QUEEN! pathetic; thanks for your time! It feels good to let it out!! It is very hard not to knock BM out; but she won't come NEAR me since SD has moved in....hmmmmmmmm good choice BM