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Hurt DHs feelings

icehockey101's picture

I hurt DHs feelings tonight. I totally hate that. SS14 hasn't talked to DH in awhile, so he finally texted BM to find out if SS lost his phone. Shockingly, BM took his phone for poor school performance. BM has always been a Disney CP until SS lived here a year and almost destroyed our marriage. Needless to say I'm disengaged with day to day dealings and only involve myself with financial stuff as I manage all our$.

So BM had SS call DH to "talk" about his lack of school performance, etc. as the call is winding down DH asks if SS wants to say hi to everyone (we are at my I laws). I say no thanks I'm talking (texting) to my mom. Unfortunately I don't have anything to say to SS. I'm not going to chastise him for his school performance and the pleasantries of how was your thanksgiving was not something I wanted to engage in.

And now DH is hurt and sulking. I know he wants us to have a better relationship, but after all the shit I went through when SS lived here, I have to take anxiety meds just to get through his visits. I'm already not looking forward to the 2 weeks he'll be here for Christmas, and I'm hoping to be able to escape with my mom since she's spending the holiday with us too. I just hate hurting his feelings when I remind him how I feel about SS.

PolyMom's picture

That is just silly....not you not wanting to hurt his feelings, but I don't even really enjoy talking to my brother when we're around others for the Holiday, and I usually end it with something along the lines of "I'll call you tomorrow." I hate being cooped up on the phone at family events, so I don't blame you one bit for that one. DH is aware the stuff was tricky, and he wants to wish it away, but that's not really an appropriate time to play out that delusion. Don't sweat it honey, it's the holidays, have some drinks....feed some to DH, and make up with some love. Love makes everything better <3