I feel very weird about the fact that everytime I complain to my H about something his ex does, he jumps to her defense and gets mad at me.
I don't know what to think of this, but of course, you can imagine the message that it sends. It feels like she's more important to him than I am, and even that he still considers her his wife that he needs to protect and it makes me wonder if he still loves her.

But basically, she doesn't do anything to take care of the kids, she leaves everything to H and myself, even though she lives right across the street and H pays her rent.

So I have an audition on Friday, one that I postponed because I was ill last week, and this is the last open date, and my last chance to audition for grad school. Well, I came home last night and SS said that he had a fever of 102, and that his mom came over and checked his temp and then left. H is in Italy, and I don't want him home with me- I don't want to get sick! If I get sick again, that's it, no audition for me.

I asked H why she didn't take him home with her and take care of him- I don't think it's right. He got mad at me and was yelling at me, "why are you bringing this stuff up?" "there's nothing she can do for him right now, nobody asked you to do anything!"

The point is- she should be taking care of him, and I don't need to be exposed to the germs......
I called my mom, she said that I was in the right, and she told me to tell him that I need to talk to him when he gets back, and tell him how it makes me feel that he jumps all over me whenever I criticize her....
She's a basketcase and has been in and out of mental hospitals and is on all sorts of drugs. But I don't feel like it gives her the right to put her responsibilities on others, and I don't feel she has the right to stop mothering her own kids. I feel like she's lazy and self centered. He told me quite a few times that she doesn't do anything, but when I say it, he gets mad.
I don't want to have a fight. I don't have the energy for it. I just want the answer to why he does that. Does anyone have an idea on how I can bring it up?

For a long time I have decided that I don't intend to carry the burdens of H and his family much longer for the reason that they take advantage of me, expect me to be there to take care of everyone, but don't treat me with respect or consideration.
Regardless, I want the answer to this question. I want to know if it's because he still loves her.