** sorry I just read a creepy blog that sounds just like BM -
Gave me chills. This reply had too much information so I got all paranoid and deleted it.
Are you involved with their education? - Somewhat, but not really. I don't get home from work until almost 6 so that's usually under control by the time I get home.
Their healthcare? - only when it comes to being sick. I did tell BF he needs to get a copy of Wilda's insurance card b/c I refuse to have to depend on her when SD's sick.
Do you throw birthday parties for them? - I have and it was promptly taken over by Wilda so I just drank instead.
Drive them? - yep, when BF can't
Discipline them? - somewhat. She really doesn't do TOO much that merits discipline but I will tell her to clean her crap up & things like that
Shop for them? - Yes, BF hates it & I have fun picking stuff out so I do it.
Other things? - We've done some fun things, like have a girl's movie day, painted pottery for christmas presents, garden, etc.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Are you involved with their education?
Not really. DH deals with homework checks and taking/picking them up. BM & him deal with where they go to school.
Their healthcare?
YES! They are on DH's plan which affects our income. We got stuck with all the co-pays even though she was suppose to pay them!
Do you throw birthday parties for them?
YES. We are the only ones that do and I end up doing all the planning and scheduling, etc.
Drive them?
Rarely. I drive a sports car but sometimes we swtich cars depending on the schedules but DH takes full responsibility for them.
Discipline them?
Yes when DH isnt atound. I help set the expectations we have in our house.
Shop for them?
Yup...I do all their clothes, personel care shopping, etc.
Other things?
I do all their laundry, cooking and cleaning as well.
I hate doing laundry but my DH is a really awesome guy and I never have to ask him to do stuff around the house. He jut does things that need to be done. Yesterday I told him I needed new wind shield wipers and I was going to go get today, and if he could put them on. When I got home last night, he walked out front greeted me with new wipers in hand and put them on my car, filled up the washer fluid and cleaned the window. I never asked him to do any of that but he does things like that for me since I do so much for him and the kids. That's when I view the task as something for him and not for them.
That is my view on it too. DH goes above and beyond for this family. If something LOOKS like it is going to break, he fixes it. If the grass is getting shabby, he cuts it...trash- never over flows. He even replaced and outlet in my bathroom yesterday because he noticed that my hair dryer kept coming unplugged while I was doing my hair yesterday. My kids are too young to do their own laundry anyway... and DH even picks up the slack there when I am working a lot! What a guy!!
BARF! PUKE! you'd think my ss10 and sd13 could wipe their ass by now, too.... and ss still pisses in the bed..... i wash skids clothes totally separate from mine --- my clothes don't even mingle in the same laundry basket with skids... i put on latex gloves then put the clothes in the washer --- then follow with a bleach load before i put any of mine or dhs clothes in the washer..... when the clothes are dry i throw them in the room and skids are to fold and put away...... washing a stinky pissy/poopy load now.
I am as involved as I choose to be and it varies depending on many factors, including how Creature behaves, how her mother behaves, and how I am dealing with my own demons. Most of what I do is as a favor to my dh because I love him and I know he appreciates my help.
Education - On occasion I participate in school activities (room parties, activities, etc) She is only in Kindergarten so there isn't much homework, but when there is, dh does it. I do not.
Healthcare - Never. Wingnut isn't allowed to take her to the pediatrician so dh handles all of this.
Birthday parties - Nope. I will help dh with groceries, entertaining at the house, but I do not plan.
Drive them - Only in rare cases when dh is in a bind and only to / from exchanges with her mother. I am not a taxi service and Wingnut nor Creature treat me well enough for me to take time out of my day.
Discipline them - when it affects me or my home or when I am the person in charge of her (note - I'll discipline any child in my home related or not).
Shop for them - Not anymore. I used to until both Creature and Wingnut started making comments about how "mommy buys nicer stuff". Now she gets new clothes when absolutely necessary because that is the only time dh shops.
Other things - I cook dinner every night. That is the only consistent thing I do for her and I only do it because I am cooking anyway.
I don't dislike her really. I have nothing in common with the kid and don't really wish to have a relationship with her. I am just not interested in over-extending myself by taking on other peoples' responsibility when those other people get all of the rewards of being parents and I get none. It causes me resentment and that resentment isn't good for me, dh or Creature.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
Are you involved with their education?
*SDs only come EOWE so only help with homework on the occasion that have some that weekend. I have gone to meet their teachers with DH.
Their healthcare?
*I have taken SDs to the Dr and other random appointments. It has never bothered me to do that.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?
*Yes, we have a birthday party for them every year.
Drive them?
*Drive them all the time. BM or their SF brings them to me EOWE and they ride home with me since I work at the halfway point anyway. If DH is oncall I take them back to meet.
Discipline them?
*I grouch at them for not picking up their messes and I have sent them to their rooms and yelled at them, but anything more than that is for DH to handle.
Shop for them?
*DH despises shopping so yes, shop for them all the time. SDs and I LOVE to go shopping!
Other things?
*Many other things. Last time they were over I took them to the movies, just me and the girls. This saturday SD14.5 is going with me to perfectson's tournament and DH is spending the day with SD11. SDs and I always have a good time together and I think they'd rather spend the time with me than DH! LOL
education - I used to help SS with his math once in a while. When DH had custody, I would check to make sure his homework was done each night.
healthcare - I have SS on my health and dental insurance. DH pays 50% of all medical expenses after insurance. DH and I are at the hospital for all surgeries or major incidents.
birthday parties - just family gatherings with a cake every year, no big parties
drive them - I did a few pickup/dropoffs over the years when DH couldn't
discipline them - Yes, the same way that I would discipline any child that I was babysitting.
shop for them - Yes, lots of clothes and toys over the years
other things - I gave him 2 little brothers that he wanted so badly
Are you involved with their education?- Yes, homework, school projects, parents teacher meetings. I am involved in all of it. BM is open to this.
Their healthcare?- Yes, he is on my insurance. BM and I share the responsibilty of making appts, and if he is sick... we take him to the Dr. Who ever has him.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?- Yes, we have separate parties. BM has one, that we are not involved in, and we have one that she is not involved in. Lucky kid gets to parties every year.
Drive them?- Every where.
Discipline them?- No, nothing further than calling him down. He doesn't need it often, but the few times he has needed it I leave it to DH.
Shop for them?- Yes. Clothes, food, medicine, toys. He is just another one of our kids... he needs things too.
Other things?- When SS is with us, I do all of the "mommy" things. I cut his finger nails, cut his hair. Put band aides on his booboo's. I brush his hair after the shower, I pick his clothes out, read him bed time stories... whatever he needs... I am there. DH takes care of discipline, and teaching him "man things" (inlcluding putting the toilet seat down... how to clean himself etc. etc.
Are you involved with their education? When they are at our house, I am the primary one to help them with their homework. Only DH and BM attend parent teacher conferences. I do have access to see their grades online if I want.
Their healthcare? Not really, BM makes most of the appointments and may ask DH to take them if she has a conflict.
Do you throw birthday parties for them? BM throws their birthday parties with their friends. We don't have any family near us so we usually just go out for dinner and maybe bowling or something they want to do for the birthdays at our house.
Drive them? Sometimes.
Discipline them? Not really. Leave that up to DH.
Shop for them? Yes, however I told them that I wasn't buying them any more clothes because they don't wear what I buy. I try to buy snacks and things they like so they have them when they are at our house.
Other things? I am helping SS learn how to drive, I take them to this pottery place, I clean up after them, I cook for them sometimes when they are over
Are you involved with their education? Limited...asking if homework is done, helping with a question if BF is busy, etc.
Their healthcare? No
Do you throw birthday parties for them? We haven't, but I certainly would. I did host the end of year soccer party for SS14 last year because BF is the coach.
Drive them? Yes, if BF isn't available.
Discipline them? Limited...anything that directly relates to me (disrespectful talk to me, etc) I can lay down a punishment (go to your room, no TV, etc.) Also if it impacts me and my "peace and tranquility" at home, I will speak up and "fuss" at them (for example if they are arguing, etc.) When they are told to do a household task and it isn't done, I will usually be the one to make sure they do. In regards to other situations (grades, getting in trouble at school, etc) BF does the discipline there.
Shop for them? Not by myself, but BF and I will go together sometimes if they need something.
Are you involved with their education?- Yes I go to most school meetings alone. I help with homework and buy whatever the school asks for. If they need something or miss the bus they call me.
Their healthcare? Yes. I pay for their medical insurance, take them to the doctors. The one time DUmbo did it, he called me every 5 minutes for thier information.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?- Yeah a couple. I've enjoyed them though. Never really had an issue with this cause I LOVE PARTIES!!
Drive them?- Everywhere.
Discipline them?-Sorta. I dont hit them. But I make them to chores and stuff and let them know when they mess up and Im not pleased with them.
Shop for them?- I bought everything they own. But this doesnt necessarily bother me either cause I LOVE SHOPPING!
Other things?- Everything they need practically goes through me. I like it this way but kinda not. Dumbo says I can run my house how I want and that he just backs me up (He does have the final say though as far as I'm concerned). Sometimes I'd like for him to step up more, but other times I like the setup because it allows things to be done how I see fit.
Are you involved with their education?
*Only help with homework, and other school work they want me to help with.
Their healthcare?
*Only when they are with us. I would make appointments if I had to. But so far I've only given them medicine their mum sends, Vitamin C and hugs.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?
*Nope
Drive them?
*Nope
Discipline them?
*Only with backing from dad, or grandparents.
Shop for them?
*Yup.
Other things?
*Cook, clean, and PLAY.
"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can."
— Little Engine That Could
** sorry I just read a
** sorry I just read a creepy blog that sounds just like BM -
Gave me chills. This reply had too much information so I got all paranoid and deleted it.
Are you involved with their
Are you involved with their education? - Somewhat, but not really. I don't get home from work until almost 6 so that's usually under control by the time I get home.
Their healthcare? - only when it comes to being sick. I did tell BF he needs to get a copy of Wilda's insurance card b/c I refuse to have to depend on her when SD's sick.
Do you throw birthday parties for them? - I have and it was promptly taken over by Wilda so I just drank instead.
Drive them? - yep, when BF can't
Discipline them? - somewhat. She really doesn't do TOO much that merits discipline but I will tell her to clean her crap up & things like that
Shop for them? - Yes, BF hates it & I have fun picking stuff out so I do it.
Other things? - We've done some fun things, like have a girl's movie day, painted pottery for christmas presents, garden, etc.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Are you involved with their
Are you involved with their education?
Not really. DH deals with homework checks and taking/picking them up. BM & him deal with where they go to school.
Their healthcare?
YES! They are on DH's plan which affects our income. We got stuck with all the co-pays even though she was suppose to pay them!
Do you throw birthday parties for them?
YES. We are the only ones that do and I end up doing all the planning and scheduling, etc.
Drive them?
Rarely. I drive a sports car but sometimes we swtich cars depending on the schedules but DH takes full responsibility for them.
Discipline them?
Yes when DH isnt atound. I help set the expectations we have in our house.
Shop for them?
Yup...I do all their clothes, personel care shopping, etc.
Other things?
I do all their laundry, cooking and cleaning as well.
I hate doing laundry but my
I hate doing laundry but my DH is a really awesome guy and I never have to ask him to do stuff around the house. He jut does things that need to be done. Yesterday I told him I needed new wind shield wipers and I was going to go get today, and if he could put them on. When I got home last night, he walked out front greeted me with new wipers in hand and put them on my car, filled up the washer fluid and cleaned the window. I never asked him to do any of that but he does things like that for me since I do so much for him and the kids. That's when I view the task as something for him and not for them.
That is my view on it too.
That is my view on it too. DH goes above and beyond for this family. If something LOOKS like it is going to break, he fixes it. If the grass is getting shabby, he cuts it...trash- never over flows. He even replaced and outlet in my bathroom yesterday because he noticed that my hair dryer kept coming unplugged while I was doing my hair yesterday. My kids are too young to do their own laundry anyway... and DH even picks up the slack there when I am working a lot! What a guy!!
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
SD is 9 and I've had her
SD is 9 and I've had her doing her own laundry for awhile now. If she doesn't do it, she doesn't have clean clothes... end of story.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
BARF! PUKE! you'd think my
BARF! PUKE! you'd think my ss10 and sd13 could wipe their ass by now, too.... and ss still pisses in the bed..... i wash skids clothes totally separate from mine --- my clothes don't even mingle in the same laundry basket with skids... i put on latex gloves then put the clothes in the washer --- then follow with a bleach load before i put any of mine or dhs clothes in the washer..... when the clothes are dry i throw them in the room and skids are to fold and put away...... washing a stinky pissy/poopy load now.
I am as involved as I choose
I am as involved as I choose to be and it varies depending on many factors, including how Creature behaves, how her mother behaves, and how I am dealing with my own demons. Most of what I do is as a favor to my dh because I love him and I know he appreciates my help.
Education - On occasion I participate in school activities (room parties, activities, etc) She is only in Kindergarten so there isn't much homework, but when there is, dh does it. I do not.
Healthcare - Never. Wingnut isn't allowed to take her to the pediatrician so dh handles all of this.
Birthday parties - Nope. I will help dh with groceries, entertaining at the house, but I do not plan.
Drive them - Only in rare cases when dh is in a bind and only to / from exchanges with her mother. I am not a taxi service and Wingnut nor Creature treat me well enough for me to take time out of my day.
Discipline them - when it affects me or my home or when I am the person in charge of her (note - I'll discipline any child in my home related or not).
Shop for them - Not anymore. I used to until both Creature and Wingnut started making comments about how "mommy buys nicer stuff". Now she gets new clothes when absolutely necessary because that is the only time dh shops.
Other things - I cook dinner every night. That is the only consistent thing I do for her and I only do it because I am cooking anyway.
I don't dislike her really. I have nothing in common with the kid and don't really wish to have a relationship with her. I am just not interested in over-extending myself by taking on other peoples' responsibility when those other people get all of the rewards of being parents and I get none. It causes me resentment and that resentment isn't good for me, dh or Creature.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
x
x
Are you involved with their
Are you involved with their education?, no BM took us to court to get complete control with lies.
Their healthcare? no BM took us to court to get complete control with lies.
Do you throw birthday parties for them? No SS does not even want to bring friends to our house
Drive them? Yes,
Discipline them? I start and let DH finish
Shop for them? Learned my lesson , all clothes land up at BM, so not anymore
Other things? wash , clean, cook
Are you involved with their
Are you involved with their education?
*SDs only come EOWE so only help with homework on the occasion that have some that weekend. I have gone to meet their teachers with DH.
Their healthcare?
*I have taken SDs to the Dr and other random appointments. It has never bothered me to do that.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?
*Yes, we have a birthday party for them every year.
Drive them?
*Drive them all the time. BM or their SF brings them to me EOWE and they ride home with me since I work at the halfway point anyway. If DH is oncall I take them back to meet.
Discipline them?
*I grouch at them for not picking up their messes and I have sent them to their rooms and yelled at them, but anything more than that is for DH to handle.
Shop for them?
*DH despises shopping so yes, shop for them all the time. SDs and I LOVE to go shopping!
Other things?
*Many other things. Last time they were over I took them to the movies, just me and the girls. This saturday SD14.5 is going with me to perfectson's tournament and DH is spending the day with SD11. SDs and I always have a good time together and I think they'd rather spend the time with me than DH! LOL
education - I used to help
education - I used to help SS with his math once in a while. When DH had custody, I would check to make sure his homework was done each night.
healthcare - I have SS on my health and dental insurance. DH pays 50% of all medical expenses after insurance. DH and I are at the hospital for all surgeries or major incidents.
birthday parties - just family gatherings with a cake every year, no big parties
drive them - I did a few pickup/dropoffs over the years when DH couldn't
discipline them - Yes, the same way that I would discipline any child that I was babysitting.
shop for them - Yes, lots of clothes and toys over the years
other things - I gave him 2 little brothers that he wanted so badly
We have 50/50 custody, SS is
We have 50/50 custody, SS is 6 years old:
Are you involved with their education?- Yes, homework, school projects, parents teacher meetings. I am involved in all of it. BM is open to this.
Their healthcare?- Yes, he is on my insurance. BM and I share the responsibilty of making appts, and if he is sick... we take him to the Dr. Who ever has him.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?- Yes, we have separate parties. BM has one, that we are not involved in, and we have one that she is not involved in. Lucky kid gets to parties every year.
Drive them?- Every where.
Discipline them?- No, nothing further than calling him down. He doesn't need it often, but the few times he has needed it I leave it to DH.
Shop for them?- Yes. Clothes, food, medicine, toys. He is just another one of our kids... he needs things too.
Other things?- When SS is with us, I do all of the "mommy" things. I cut his finger nails, cut his hair. Put band aides on his booboo's. I brush his hair after the shower, I pick his clothes out, read him bed time stories... whatever he needs... I am there. DH takes care of discipline, and teaching him "man things" (inlcluding putting the toilet seat down... how to clean himself etc. etc.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
Are you involved with their
Are you involved with their education? When they are at our house, I am the primary one to help them with their homework. Only DH and BM attend parent teacher conferences. I do have access to see their grades online if I want.
Their healthcare? Not really, BM makes most of the appointments and may ask DH to take them if she has a conflict.
Do you throw birthday parties for them? BM throws their birthday parties with their friends. We don't have any family near us so we usually just go out for dinner and maybe bowling or something they want to do for the birthdays at our house.
Drive them? Sometimes.
Discipline them? Not really. Leave that up to DH.
Shop for them? Yes, however I told them that I wasn't buying them any more clothes because they don't wear what I buy. I try to buy snacks and things they like so they have them when they are at our house.
Other things? I am helping SS learn how to drive, I take them to this pottery place, I clean up after them, I cook for them sometimes when they are over
Are you involved with their
Are you involved with their education? Limited...asking if homework is done, helping with a question if BF is busy, etc.
Their healthcare? No
Do you throw birthday parties for them? We haven't, but I certainly would. I did host the end of year soccer party for SS14 last year because BF is the coach.
Drive them? Yes, if BF isn't available.
Discipline them? Limited...anything that directly relates to me (disrespectful talk to me, etc) I can lay down a punishment (go to your room, no TV, etc.) Also if it impacts me and my "peace and tranquility" at home, I will speak up and "fuss" at them (for example if they are arguing, etc.) When they are told to do a household task and it isn't done, I will usually be the one to make sure they do. In regards to other situations (grades, getting in trouble at school, etc) BF does the discipline there.
Shop for them? Not by myself, but BF and I will go together sometimes if they need something.
Other things? cook, clean, etc
Are you involved with their
Are you involved with their education?- Yes I go to most school meetings alone. I help with homework and buy whatever the school asks for. If they need something or miss the bus they call me.
Their healthcare? Yes. I pay for their medical insurance, take them to the doctors. The one time DUmbo did it, he called me every 5 minutes for thier information.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?- Yeah a couple. I've enjoyed them though. Never really had an issue with this cause I LOVE PARTIES!!
Drive them?- Everywhere.
Discipline them?-Sorta. I dont hit them. But I make them to chores and stuff and let them know when they mess up and Im not pleased with them.
Shop for them?- I bought everything they own. But this doesnt necessarily bother me either cause I LOVE SHOPPING!
Other things?- Everything they need practically goes through me. I like it this way but kinda not. Dumbo says I can run my house how I want and that he just backs me up (He does have the final say though as far as I'm concerned). Sometimes I'd like for him to step up more, but other times I like the setup because it allows things to be done how I see fit.
Life is what you make it.
We have them only on
We have them only on weekends.
Are you involved with their education?
*Only help with homework, and other school work they want me to help with.
Their healthcare?
*Only when they are with us. I would make appointments if I had to. But so far I've only given them medicine their mum sends, Vitamin C and hugs.
Do you throw birthday parties for them?
*Nope
Drive them?
*Nope
Discipline them?
*Only with backing from dad, or grandparents.
Shop for them?
*Yup.
Other things?
*Cook, clean, and PLAY.
"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can."
— Little Engine That Could
WHY ARE YOU ASKING? "I may
WHY ARE YOU ASKING?
"I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the end your right to say it," - Voltaire
OMG I didn't DARE discipline
OMG I didn't DARE discipline my 2 SD's........hubby never did either, lived at BM she never did. Now they are 29 and 31 and are horrid!