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How to handle different parenting styles?

marissamae88's picture

Ok my SO and I are pretty much on the same page as discipline goes and we set up rules together. So most of the time everything works as smoothly as it could. My SO's family asked us if we wanted to do a movie weekend with them to go see the Hangover 2. My SO and I have really wanted to see it so we agreed and decided if the boys were good ss9 and ss7 could watch a disney movie at the theaters with us. Well ss7 has lost that treat due to misbehaving so now I feel it wouldn't be okay to have ss9 in the theater literally all by himself. My SO said well he can watch the Hangover with us......Im sorry but I do not think that is appropriate for his age group. My SO said well he is going to watch it anyway when it comes on HBO and I said not if we set up the parental controls like I have been trying to do and you dont want to! He says he is going to learn about sex and all the other stuff in the movie anyway so might as well be with us. I told him thats just like parents I hear giving their teens condoms and letting them have sex in your house because they are going to do it anyway. I don't believe in that type of parenting and I didnt think he did either. I got kind of upset because I am a custodial sm their BM tries to buy them with this type of stuff. Violent video games raded R movies and that to me is soooo inappropriate I want to give them their childhood. I asked him if ss9 was a girl would he still feel the same way? He said the world is full of double standards. I was appalled! really! ugh am I overreacting or is this movie way too mature for a nine year old?

hbell0428's picture

I can see your point.....and yes, sad but TRUE boys are able to do more stuff then girls; no matter what age.
I suppose it all depends on how you think that child will handle the movie or situation. My 3 bios and 1 SD14 are all 100% different in every way. I would trust my BS9 at home alone more then I would trust my SD14 or maybe even my BD12.
I am not sure how you 2 decided to parent the Stepson. At first I tried to be there and help out; but this caused fights for my DH and I. So now, I don't answer any questions and don't want to know anything. And you know what!!! We haven't fought at ALL!! Smile I guess what I am saying is, pick your battles......there are big ones and ones that aren't life threating. I also agree with...

I told him thats just like parents I hear giving their teens condoms and letting them have sex in your house because they are going to do it anyway

We just found out that when SD was 13 she did "it" in my house. This is one of the reasons I backed off.........Good luck; tough call

overit2's picture

Ok, dumb question-but shouldn't the younger one stay home and dad sacrifices HIS movie and sits down w/his 7yr old to watch the disney movie??? And then go seperately on a date to see the Hangover the two of you???

When one is parenting/applyign consequences/punishing sometimes that takes parents sacrificing our wants/needs in order to get to the end result of disciplining.

Dad wants to not do any of the sacrifice part that comes w/discipline/parenting it seems.

I didn't realize and 7 and 9 it's ok to be in theatre alone anyways?
Your Dh doesn't seem to concerned with whats appropiate for kids to do/watch honestly.