Holidays
Hi. We are going back to our previous state for Thanksgiving. We will see 18-year-old stepdaughter while we are there. Husband wants to fly same 18 year-old stepdaughter out to our house in our new state for Christmas break,. She came before and stayed for a week and said it was too long because my two little children were too loud for her. She also called my three-year-old a demon child and creep. Oh And she trashes our basement and is overall very disrespectful to me. I talked to my husband about this and he said I don't remember any of that. Of course he doesn't. She is perfect to him. Told him that's fine, but if she treats my children poorly, we will be going to stay at a hotel. He said oh your children? I said yes. You said that you want to fly "your daughter" out here so I will be protecting " my children" from her bad behavior if necessary. I need to look for a hotel now and book it to have it in case things go south over the time she is here for Christmas. Hopefully I will not need it and can cancel, but I don't know what else to do. If I wait until she is here and try to get a hotel, they will likely be booked up because of the Christmas holiday.
Look at airbnb and vrbo, too.
Look at airbnb and vrbo, too.
What is the possibility of SD
What is the possibility of SD not wanting to be at your house for Christmas (fingers crossed)? It is shameful that he is ok with an adult (especially) referring to your child as a demon. I'd tend to stand my ground in my house and tell DH to change her plane ticket and send her home early if she acts like an ass again. Hopefully, she won't come.
Book with a national chain of hotel
With a cancellation policie. Like 24 hours or 36 hours. And get set up. SD isn't going not miss the great gift grab. And ATM.
'Check Hilton hotels brand as Homewood suites. Has free breakfast. Pools. For the kids. Nite time resession and you can cancel either 5 days before it 24 hours before. If you are paying to stay in a hotel stay in one the kids will enjoy. Like having a pool to play around in. Making new friends
IHG has broad availability.
Candlewood Suites is my prefer for extended stay. HI Express has free breakfast an usually has a pool.
His selective memory is clearly gaslighting. Do not tolerate that crap from him.
As for the Demon Child comment. We have all experienced a Demon child or several at some point and know it when we see it. Take off the mom/bio parent goggles. Is the Skidult just being an asshole or is there some merit to the Demon Child comment?
I have a great idea.... I
I have a great idea.... I might suggest to your DH.. that his daughter might appreciate the CASH that the ticket would have cost.. since he would have just seen her at thanksgiving.. why not offer her that option.. young adults always need cash..lol.. and need seeing their families less... (and vice versa)
A. T.M.
A,T.M. A.T.M. that's all SD wants
Holidays are painful for me.
Holidays are painful for me. SS does not like me or my family, though he seems to like my nephews a little better than me (they're good at school and are athletic, the things SS admires). But his mom doesn't do much for the holidays and doesn't have much family. I just pray that it's either Thanksgiving or Christmas, but not both.
So mirror his behavior.
These types should suffer what the perpetrate on others. In an age appropriate manner. My baby brother was a biter. When he fit his first tooth he was like Nosferatu the vampire. About 4 teeth into his dentition he latched onto my dad's neck and drew blood after countless firm No!-s Dad had reached the enough point and bit him firmly on the hand.(no blood but with a bite mark). That was the last time he bit anyone. I had scars by then from his vampiric or zombie/cannibal feeding attempts on me. I was about 8. The little shit thought it was funny through he also did it when he was mad. I would never had done what dad did myself. My baby bro was my world. But it was something that had to be done.
So," latch on" and bring the mirroring pain.
I would.
Well welll- sd got a letter
Well welll- sd got a letter saying she over drafted her checking account $217 and it's going to collections. She also hasn't paid her toll road bill and now can't since her bank card is negative. So she is racking up fees on both the bank and the toll road charges. Can't wait to see how dh washes this away. Sd also wants to change her major but It keeps flip-flopping and she has no idea what to do! I honestly hope my husband loses his shit on her. I'm tired of him covering. She is starting to spiral. I hope he does not bail her out again and again and again. There's no reason to financially devastate us bc of her crappy choices. Please pray he will make her figure this shit out on her own.
Good luck
I hope your DH sees the light but my DH86 is still covering for SD63 and defending all her craziness. Sigh ...
She has now been found w
She has now been found w alcohol in her room and a 21 and up wristband (she's 18) She's got excuses for it all. Dh is buying it. He yelled at me and won't tell me now what he's texting w her. I guess she's his priority not his wife or two young helpless children .
I hate this for you. The
I hate this for you. The dummies don't realize that this coddling feeds into lifelong adult issues/problems. My husband should write the book on it as a warning. He is so very disappointed and sad about his kids, who have made semi-disasters out of their adult lives. Every once in a while DH says, "I wish I had listened to you and xyz." Me: "hmm mmm." Hey, bud, that train left the station 10+ years ago, but you didn't hear it pulling out because you were yelling at me for speaking the truth.
I got to a point that I began ignoring everything and watching from afar as the skids continued to act like untamed animals. Eventually, he got the message. He has to live with it.
Now sd says she's quitting
Now sd says she's quitting college ( only been in 1 semester) and gonna go live w bio mom. Best wishes to them both !!
Good riddance to them.
Time for daddy to let her leap from the burning platform into adulthood where she can finish growing up on her own time and her own dime.
She and mommy should have a great time in the Harpy freeding frenzy they will create for themselves.
Enjoy the show!
As a distant "watcher of the
As a distant "watcher of the show/disaster movie," I can vouch for the truth in your statement! Buckle up!
Lol. Don't forget the popcorn.
The plot twists always seem to be epically naive and stupid.
Well sd has been given
Well sd has been given directions, log ins, and screenshots of how to set her payment cards to pay for her things!! Let's see if she does it! She's also been reminded that she needs to save money car insurance due to be paid Jan 7 and an appt Jan 9! Can't wait to see how this goes!
Welp February update: not
Welp February update: not sure if she's paid car insurance for January and it's due for Feb again! She hasn't done dr appt for adhd , anxiety, and depression meds so she'll be struggling. She also needs to register car which i don't think she has $ for. DH said don't worry about it , all we can do is pay for it which he doesn't wanna do- which shocks but also thrills me. I do think we may have to help at some point but he's so mad at her for quitting school that he doesn't wanna give her money. She's gone to live w bio mom which won't last bc they hate each other. The instability of the situation stresses me but im trying to give reminders like "hey you're due for a check up this month" and then leaving it alone. And of course things are not getting done. I guess it's up to her! i just don't want DH to decide to bail her out at our family's expense ! And i REALLY DONT Want her coming to live w us again!
I hate to tell you this....
I know your SD is younger then my SD63 but there are many similarities. SD63 let her car insurance slide, too, but then totaled her car when she hit a deer. Guess who bought another car. I only hope she's keeping the insurance up now but I wouldn't bet on it.
Not taking medication correctly or doing medical followups? Check. SD63 likes to detail all her many ailments but picks and chooses which followups she does. She's seeing her psychiatrist tomorrow (drugs) but did she get the heart tests? I don't think so.
I hope your SD matures out of the insanity but mine didn't. And, I'm with you, SD63 isnt moving back here, either.
Kidults at some point need to be left to their own efforts.
I tried to influence my SS to maintain regular contact with his mom. Nothing worked. Not threats, not silence, nothing. He is and has been entirely financially self sufficient for nearly 14 years. He calls when he chooses.
We have adapted and though it does remain frustrating, we badger him incessently and eventually he reaches out.
We are proud of him, he is doing well in his life, in his profession, and in his community. But he does drive us nuckin futz.
My parents make no secret that I have driven them nuckin futz for my entire life. At some point, even parents need to let the kidults try kidulting. As much as that either drives us batshit crazy or they suffer the full consequences of their adult choices.
IMHO of course.