Whenever I read something like this, “SKs are ruining my life,” my first thought is, and it is usually correct, that you don’t have a SK problem anywhere near as much as you have a DH or husband problem.  He is the problem.  This almost brought me to tears, “Few months ago i had a miscarriage at 12 weeks.  I was bleeding and in pain and he made me go pick up his kids from their mom’s house.”

It almost brought me to tears not only over the miscarriage, but over the fact that a) Your DH treats you so, AND b) You let your DH treat you so.  It truly must be hell for you with three teenagers in the home, who are not yours, a MIL, and a DH who basically acts like you are there to serve him and his family.  You are basically, as you’ve noticed already, nonexistent. 

If your DH can’t lay down the law and set boundaries for his own children and mother and other hanger-ons, then there is absolutely no way you can.  This is where the saying, “You can’t care more than the parent(s)” comes from.  He is letting everyone in the household run feral, and you are expected to suck it up and take his piss-poor parenting, which in turn, makes him a piss-poor husband.

It sounds to me like it is already too far gone, and I see little hope of your DH changing, or any of his kids or etc. changing.  They have been permitted for years to have their cake and eat it too.  You need to see a counselor and make an exit plan.  Tread carefully.  Although it is so obvious how poorly you are being treated, you’d be surprised how many will get angry and upset when you tell them all to go take a hike and bon voyage.  They’ll resent you for “deserting them” and may even beg you to stay, when in reality, they are resenting you for being unwilling to be their unpaid servant anymore.

See a counselor, make an exit plan, and get out as soon as you can.  Do this for your child!!  I don’t see any future for you here, even if the kids reach age 18.  They sound like the type who will be around until they are least age 30 anyway.  Yuck!  Don’t hate yourself.  Hate the situation, and move on.  I’ll repeat: Do this for your child.  Your child will not fare any better than you, more than likely, in this type of situation.

I'm a little confused on how you didn't know the custody arrangement until after you got married - was it a long-distance relationship? Or did he just flat out lie to you?

If he lied, then you have no basis for a healthy relationship. At the very least stop agreeing to be his nanny and cook and caregiver for his kids. Get a lock for your bedroom door and preserve your privacy. But honestly, this sounds like you have to chalk it up to a mistake and get out now.

The time to get out is before the baby is born. It will be harder when there are 2 of you. Please do what you can to make that happen. It sounds like you are in a desperate situation. Reach out to your family if you have any.

Wow this felt like exactly me months ago while pregnant.  I had no say in decorating etc cause his mom always organized her way. The skids walking in the room and watching tv leaving me with no privacy it angered me. I  eventually told DH that the skids need to be out of the room and he demanded them to leave the room since i needed rest while pregnant. And he started standing up for me against his mom.  Eventually he started putting more order and now we are better off. Speak to DH , or write out how you feel in a journal and give it to him to read 

Just heard a good quote that made me think of this:  "You stop being a victim when you realize you are not a victim of circumstances but instead a victim of your own decisions."  In other words, if the decisions you are making aren't working, start making different ones.  You have the power.

I wouldn't normally recommend throwing in the towel, I think we all love these men and hopefully see that one day out future with them will be not as dictated to by his children. But I worry that a man that is suppose to love you doesn't immediately  take you to the hospital if you are having a miscarriage, instead he insists you pick up his Kids. I think you are in an abusive relationship. Take care of yourself. 

Call your family and have them come pick you up. Before you have the baby.  Have the baby out of state and put this shallow and polluted gene pool behind you.  Raise your child away from them all.

I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago and it started the day we moved into our new home and hubby had flown in from overseas as he works overseas. He took me to hospital right after my placenta and everything came out in 1 go the moment we got home. 

Everytime i had a drs appt or admitted to hospital to give birth, nothing with skids was ever considered important.  Their shopping for school supplies or being dropped off to college or their whinging- nothing and i mean nothing was considered a priority to do. Its a medical emergency to rush to hospital the moment the bleeding and bad cramps happen from a miscarriage as there is a real concern of infection happening or part of the placenta etc doesn’t release.

if my husband ever suggested i drive and pick up skids or any bs of theirs was priority he would get a “major f*#k you” followed by divorce papers... how the heck did you even sit through a car ride and drive yourself to pick them up while you were miscarrying?? The pain is excruciating 

this man has no respect for you and does not care about you. He is not your equity life partner as Rags here calls it!!