Hire a maid?
I have told FDH that his 3 kids need to learn more responsibility. They have never had to pick up their own clothes off the bathroom floor, or clear their own plate off the table.
That FSD12 FSS10 and FSD8 are more than capable of helping to clean the house,....if nothing else pick up after themselves.
I have volunteered to do their laundry BUT ONLY IF each one of them picks up all their clothes and puts them in their own laundry basket and places it in the laundry room.
Other than that I don't pick up after them. I generally keep the kitchen table cleared off and cleaned so we can eat, but I've explained that is as far as I go.
SO A COUPLE DAYS AGO, FDH says to me, "What do you think about getting a maid? I know someone that charges X dollars an hour or she will look at the house and charge X flat fee."
"Do you think we really need a maid?"
"Well, I just mean, you work full time and aren't used to cleaning up after 3 kids. It's just been thrown on you in the last couple months. (we moved in together in Novemeber) And I just thought it would be worth it for you."
I told him I would think about it.
I like the idea of not having to look at the kids shit everywhere,....but it doesn't teach the kids the whole responsibility thing and picking up after themselves....
SO, should we hire a maid?
He's skirting around the
He's skirting around the issue don't you think? He wants the house to look good and he knows YOU won't be the maid. He needs to get chore charts or whatever it takes for the kids to be responsible. I have grown kids now and when they were those ages, they picked up after themselves because I had to work. Dad is trying to avoid parenting his children with the maid thing, what would he do if he was financially strapped and could not afford a maid? And why doesn't HE pick up after HIS kids??? Just saying...
I agree with the chore list,
I agree with the chore list, but I would tell him you want a chore list AND a housekeeper to come once a week and do the heavy cleaning, but DON'T expect the housekeeper to get much done if the kids wont pick up their rooms the day before the housekeeper comes and I know this from experience.
The housekeeper is there to help YOU, not to wipe the kids' asses for them, but I would definatly take FDH up on this offer. Also, we've done better with an individual than with a "company".
Why isit your responsibility
Why isit your responsibility to pick up after his three kids? Shouldn't he be the one cleaning up after them? It is his poor parenting that has allowed these kids to think adults should be picking up after them. My SS9 used to leave dishes, socks, shoes, clothes, toys, wet towels everywhere and FDH picked up after him eventually. Keep doing that and the skids will never clean up after themselves. My DD4 has been required to put away her toys since she was about 18 months old. In the beginning my mom started helping her and by the time she was three she could and did do it on her own. SS9 couldn't clean his own room unless FDH helped. Then the excuse was DD was in SSs room and had made a mess so I or FDH had to clean it up. Then I caught SS in DDs room making a mess and DD had been getting stuck cleaning up his mess. Not cool and FDH was told that SS needed to clean by himself since DD had been doing it all along.
I gave up a year and a half
I gave up a year and a half ago and hired a cleaning service. They come once a week at $80 a pop. My DH gets to pay for it. Life is much easier and I have a LOT less resentment.
I highly recommend it.
Yup, that is what I did too!
Yup, that is what I did too! Great decision.
I do get really resentful
I do get really resentful about the filth of the house sometimes,...
And It is A LOT of time taken away from me.
It seems like every evening I come home and every weekend is cleaning.
Especially with a recent comment from FSS10, "You didn't get all the pieces of gum out of my pocket before you washed and dried my clothes now this shirt is ruined."
Of course I fired back at him, "NO, YOU didn't get all of the gum out of YOUR pockets before YOU TOLD me to wash and dry your clothes SO YOU RUINED YOUR shirt."
FDH stood up for me and told the kids it was their responsibility to empty their pockets. But it still ticked me off.
Maybe it will be better for our relationship, and give me MY time back on my evenings and weekends...
I have a cleaning lady that
I have a cleaning lady that comes bi-monthly to do big cleaning. I also have a yard crew that does the lawn every ten days in season. My theory is, why should I be the only one cleaning up? No one wants to do, so why does that automatically fall on my shoulders?
I have adult stepkids that are still on "our payroll". In the summer I charge them a cleaning fee when they are home. I got tired of nagging constantly, so I stopped nagging and started charging them extras $$ in the months they live here. No one seemed upset about it