HELP! Messy BF and his kids driving me crazy..What to do???
I've been dating this great guy and he just build a new house and wants me to move in with him and his children. Its perfect except for a few things..
1. My BF is a "packrat". He saves EVERYTHING. Some things are from his childhood which I understand but most of the stuff is just junk he has picked up here and there over the years and refuses to get ride of it. In his last house he had boxes all over the place not as bad as the tv show "Horders" but close.
Now add the fact his two children (6 and 11) are the same way. I have NEVER seen kids with so many toys. His 11 yr old has toys that are for 6 year olds that she refuses to get rid off. Even tryed to tell the kids if they sold some of their toys they could keep the money or buy new toys and that even did not work.
2. Second problem is my biggest complaint. The kids NEVER pick up after themselfs. I could have the house spotless and within 3 hrs with the kids there it looks like we were robbed. Both kids will leave toys,clothes,FOOD in ever inch of the house. I'm not talking about "normal" kid mess either. When I try and get the 6 year old to pick up her stuff she will tell me to "shut up" and run away. The 11 yr old will ignore me and hide. Their father is no help as he just goes behind them and cleans up their mess or just leaves it messy. I have tryed to explain the kids are old enough to pick up after themselfs but it falls on deaf ears.
My delema is I love this man but getting second thoughts as I don't want to spend all my waking hours going behind these kids cleaning up after them. I know I could just leave it but I can't stand living in a pigpen.
How do I get my BF make his children be responsible for their mess??
You are setting yourself up
You are setting yourself up for a losing battle!! MY skids are the biggest pigs ever!! I am talking chicken wing bones in their rooms!! I have given up months ago cleaning their rooms...I just shut the door...you would think by the way the rest of my house looks and my kids rooms, they would get the hint! But the blame is on DH!!
I would love it if the kids
I would love it if the kids rooms were a mess. Their rooms are spotless cause they refuse the play in their rooms. They think the living room,family room,kitchen,master bedroom,basement,BATHROOM are their own playrooms and will leave a trail of toys,food,mess.
Think long and hard before
Think long and hard before you move in. That is their home. The way they live works for the three of them.
If you move in and try to change the way the house "flows", they will push back.
Be glad that you know this
Be glad that you know this now.
Your relationship will probably withstand NOT living together better than it will withstand you moving in and being frustrated because you live with pigs.
I could not live it with that and I know that I would be a raving bitch if I had to pick up after 3 other people constantly.
^^^^THIS!!!! I know for a
^^^^THIS!!!! I know for a fact I couldn't do it.
Listen to your gut on this
Listen to your gut on this one.
Personally I live on my own, separately from BF and his two kids. During the time I spent with him and his kids over the past couple years I became very, very observant of his habits and his kids habits. They leave messes till the end of the day or till someone else cleans it. They leave toys, crayons, markers EVERYWHERE. They break things, get their sticky fingers on the couch, spill milk and juice on the floor. Not to knock them, it's HARD maintaining a clean home with small kids....but my standards of cleanliness go beyond theirs and I know I would become extremely resentful and a downright bitch if I was picking up all the slack from him and his kids.
It's different for us because I do not plan on ever having children so this arrangement works for us, at least now....however if you eventually want kids of your own with him then you might have to bite the bullet and come to some sort of compromise with him.