All this over baby clothes
DH is a packrat. I will not call him a hoarder, because he does throw trash away, but that's about it. He had BM's maternity clothes in a box that he kept, because they were "really nice, and he thought his next wife might wear them." I politely suggested that we return them to BM as I would NEVER wear them. Ever.
So he keeps everything, and we moved last weekend. We moved into a bigger home, but with less storage than the old house. I gently suggested that DH take his time, and sort through things before we move them, because there MIGHT be a thing or two that he hasn't used, or doesn't need, which we could maybe throw away. We moved it all.
The last load of stuff was loaded into the car at 1am this morning. (why, you might ask, were we moving at 1am? because for some unknown reason DH has not told BM that we moved and that SD7 is going to a new school. So he couldn't have her take SD7, because then she would know we moved....so he called his parents who live 30 min away to come and get her after school, and bring her back and drop her off at school this morning....) So we're loading the last load, and I'm about to lose it because it's all so ridiculous. My stuff was moved on day one. I don't mess around when it comes to moving. The last load was about 15 old, water stained, torn up diper boxes. I said "What is in those?! Maybe you should open them and see if that stuff is even worth taking because those boxes are so nasty!" DH says "It's SD7's baby clothes." I cannot explain to you the thoughts that ran through my head at that moment. So many things, but here's a quick break down
Why would I want to put our baby in his kids old used baby clothes?
Would he have taken second hand clothes for SD7 when she was born? and never gotten her anything new?
What are we gonna do with mildewey baby clothes?!
on and on and on
So I helped him load them up. As I put the last box in the bed of the truck, the bottom ripped out of it and shoes fell out. Broken shoes, scuffed up shoes, sandles with broken straps, shoes with torn laces, graying shoes that were once white. I looked at those shoes. I bit my tongue. I held back tears of sadness and frustration. I picked them up and put them in the truck. Silence loomed heavy in the car as we drove down the highway. DH knew something was wrong, but didn't ask. I couldn't talk about it because I was on the verge of losing it. And as I stared into the rearview mirror, I noticed what I thought was a strange white bird...and then another and another, all flying away from the truck. Then slowly, I began to smile. I realized they were baby clothes. Flying out the back of the truck. Flapping in the wind. DH was unaware. I thought, just for a second, if I don't tell him maybe they'll all blow out. Then I'll never have to put my baby in them. But then I thought about DH, and how sad he would be and I yelled for him to stop the truck. We picked baby clothes up off the side of the highway, and went home. I consider that my random act of kindness for the week.
You might not want to call
You might not want to call him a hoarder, but that's what he is. If he is keeping broken shoes, and things that are so old and worn that they are no longer functional, that's hoarding. There is no rational thought process that would lead to keeping sandals with broken straps for over a decade.
I can see maybe keeping a few of his favorite outfits, that are in really nice condition. Not broken, faded, evicted up, mildewy things. Honestly, I think your Dh needs therapy to figure out why he can't let go of things.
My dh is a bit of a hoarder
My dh is a bit of a hoarder too-alhough it is more with HIS things-he doesnt save things of the kids or whatnot. I'm not going to lie-some things he tries to keep I simply throw away. He want to keep empty milk containers, coffee cans, and such. I simply chuck them. In all honesty, if I came along some clothes of ss's from infancy, I'd chuck those too. Hell, I chucked some of his clothes a couple of months ago when he left them laying around places he wasnt supposed to. Since I end up being the one to clean and care for our home (for the most part)I get the say in what I do with stuff. I do understand dh's affinity for certain items (right now its electronic items, old, broken,etc)so I dont throw those away, but make him keep them in our shed or our storage unit.
Call it for what it is.
Call it for what it is. Hoarder. It doesn't only have to be nasty garbage to be hoarded. I use to call my mother a pack rat, i realize now that alas, she is a hoarder. And was then too.
He thought you would want to
He thought you would want to wear BM's old maternity clothes?? WTF? Men are sooooo stupid sometimes!
Let me clarify real quickly,
Let me clarify real quickly, I don't mind DH keeping some of her baby stuff. I think it's sweet, and I will def. put any future children we have in some of those clothes, assuming they are functional. BUT DH is of the opinion that this will be our next child's wardrobe. Nothing new needed, because he's got all of SD7's old stuff! No new crib, no new bedding, no new anything.
ME - Why?
DH - "because I've still got all of SD7's old stuff and it's perfectly good! Why would we spend money on that stuff when we've already got it!"
We aren't broke. Not rich either. But anyone who's had a baby knows that there is something special about picking out bedding, and new clothes, and little special things like that. OR going together, and getting some things from Children's Orchard(a second hand store) or some thing like that. I know kids grow out of clothes quickly, and we will take anything that anyone gives us. BUT Our child will not be SD7. This is going to be different. Maybe that's what makes me so upset about it. OUR child is not SD7. All of our children will be different. And some things will be shared, I get that. But we wouldn't name a baby the same name as SD7, just because we already have it!!
And yes, he totally thought I
And yes, he totally thought I would wear BM's old maternity clothes!
Oh sure, throw in her
Oh sure, throw in her underwear and bras, too. Men are retarded.
Oh jeez. The SK baby clothes
Oh jeez. The SK baby clothes thing again, I see. BTDT.
Ewww man, the crap that was left by nasty gold digger BM and SS8... BM TRIED to bring old, nasty clothes that had fleas and dog pee in them here, in TRASH BAGS.
Let me tell you, that shit hit the trash here, quicker than she tried to leave it here. Like the hell she would have ever put her beloved offspring in that crap? There are a GAZILLION pics of SS8 and it looks like they bought the entire Brats R Us store for him.
My BS1 will NOT ride on rusty trikes, wear nasty clothes, etc.
I've decided today that DH will spend the equal amount of his C/S on BS1 too, every month and I will DOCUMENT IT. I'm going to let him see that one freaking bag of diapers a mth. does not cover a toddler.
BM's maternity clothes??????????????? :O
hahaha I'd cast a spell on
hahaha
I'd cast a spell on them to send back, whatever she has tried to cause any harm, your way. (only). }:) }:) }:)
I kept some of SD's old
I kept some of SD's old clothes for my future babies...however I never used it on my babies! I did, however, save the clothes I bought SD and my BD is now wearing some of them. SD was cute at that age and I have good memories shopping with her.
Anything I found that
Anything I found that belonged to the ex wife, I burned while DH was at work. I did not want her crap in my house! Period.
(No subject)
}:)
LMAO, DH moved in with me,
LMAO, DH moved in with me, but BM used to slip things in to SS's diaper bag. Like wedding pictures, cards, notes... whatever. I did several different things with them.
She kind of looks like a helium balloon now, AFTER it deflated. You know how they put that liquid in it to make it last longer and when it dies it gets all super wrinkly. 
That's BM!
1. Put it BACK in the bag with a note from "DH" saying "I dont want this crap"
2. Tear it up and throw it away
3. I taped the wedding picture to our television with a post it note on it for DH saying "Do you know this woman?". Just because it was funny. She was really fat in the picture and after DH left her she was doing meth and lost a ton of weigh really fast. Doesn't even look like the same person, altough neither versions of her were easy on the eyes
^^^LOL
^^^LOL
^^^^hilarious^^^^
^^^^hilarious^^^^
Go through the boxes when
Go through the boxes when he's not home. Slowly start throwing out the worst stuff. I am sure that he doesn't remeber exaclty what in there. Anything broken, ripped or stained, just toss it (in a garbage he won't find it). Anything you truly hate, toss it. Keep a managable amount to "keep" for your baby. If you have a boy, no worries. If you do have a girl, no one says that you have to dress her in that stuff.... Just put it in a drawer and leave it there.
If he does motice that stuff is missing, just shrug and say of must have been lost in the move but you'll try and see if you can find it.
If I take the stuff he'll
If I take the stuff he'll know it's gone!! He has post it notes all over his desk and the floor. I took one, that was crumpled and ripped on the floor and threw it away so I could vacuum the floor. He didn't find it in the trash, lucky for me, but a day later he was looking for it. He knew it was gone! He said it had something on it that he needed. He tore up the house looking for it. I vowed never to throw anything away again!!
A post it note with
A post it note with information he needs is one thing. Remembering every piece of baby clothes in several old boxes is another.
That's true. I'm going to
That's true. I'm going to wait. It's too close to the move to start taking things now. But in about a month I'm going to secretly go through those boxes and start slowly taking things and getting rid of them. One time SD7 and I went through the crap in her room. She decided what to keep, stuff she still played with, and she decided what to get rid of...ie broken duplo blocks, a shape box, a talking playskol phone, ect. I went to get DH, to show him what a "great job we had done" and he went nuts! He saw that stuff in the trash and started by asking why I was throwing her toys away! I said that she had made the decisions, and the only things we threw away were broken! He took it all out and put it back in her room. She never touches any of it. He's stuck on her still being a baby.
omg. he needs therapy. for
omg. he needs therapy. for real.
i have ss 4 an his birth
i have ss 4 an his birth mother tried to give me her maternity clothes when i was pregnant few months back an i honestly wanted to be sick my husband came over an said we appreciate it however she is having her first pregnancy an i will buy her new things so i guess im lucky an she wasnt to happy but i think she understood i mean the gesture was nice but no thankyou lol