You are here

Have any of you ever checked out "Divorce Support" or "Divorce Source" Forums?

kellyjean's picture

Submitted by kellyjean on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 4:57pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

If you have not google it. Awhile back I joined and made a few posts about how needy SS was and DH's inability to stand up to crazy BM. Of course I toned it down from the posts I made here but the critisizum I got was unbelievable. Within a few hours my posts all had like 20-30 replies and ALL were negitive to say the least. I felt like if these people knew where I lived they would hunt me down. I understand alot of scorned BM's are on there but I felt like I was in a room full of MY BM.

Please I don't mean to offend any BM's here that my belong to "Divorce Support" or "Divorce Source" Forums. I'm sure there are plenty of decent BM's that belong but the ones that answered my questions seem to be out of touch with reality.

Endora's picture

Submitted by Endora on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 10:22am

That is why this site is important-One challenge that many step parents face but few will admit is that they do not like one or more of their stepchildren. They love their partner, they love their kids, and they find themselves particularly challenged by the behaviors of their step kids.

When a stepmom presents this problem to people NOT in the same situation who cannot empathize, or "get" her/him on how frustrating and irritating the situation is for her/him. I find this site helps me explore all my feelings around it and get a sense for what's really getting under my skin in relationship to the teen/child who is not "mine".

After doing some emotional "excavating", I can then then shift the focus to look at the ways this teen/child is there to show me things about myself.

For instance-I find Zippy16.5 not so irritating when DH actually "parents" him-there are loving ways a bioparent can parent that does not enable the teen/child to remain a baby. AND a strong adult relationship actually makes skids feel secure.

You will be harshly judged on some other sites for venting about the "sacred children".

If I had to do it again (marry a man with children)-I would have waited until Zippy was off to College or moving out -but in my case-Zippy16.5 won't be moving out any time soon as he has been emotionally stunted to the level of a 12 year old due to excessive guilt parenting (DH) and child abandonment (BM)-that being said, I guess I would not be married.....

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

kellyjean's picture

Submitted by kellyjean on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:02pm

I really think i'm going to punch the next person that says
" Well think how hard it must be for her(BM) seeing you in her family unit".

I feel like saying "Well if she was not such a BITCH she would still be in the family unit".

Or anouther one of my favorites is " Oh SS is just so cute!Just look at how he loves his dad and misses him so much he(SS) just can't get enough hugging(AKA hanging)in!" I just want to gag and say " Ya try living with this 24/7 then tell me how cute it is"

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 03/03/2021 - 1:56pm

So say it,

Then back it by listing the litany of bullshit she perpetrates against you, your SO, and her own children.