I have been a SM for 4.5 yrs. At first BM would always say "give SS a hug and kiss for me before bed". When she had to work and couldn't take SS to hockey she would ask me to. It then turned to her giving DH shit because we would have plans and not take SS at 7pm on a Friday night because she wanted to party and he was "putting his stupid wife first". Now she is remarried and expecting and trying to cut me out of SS life. She texts my DH saying "I do not want her to hug ss anymore if she does she will get a punch in the face". She has called me a crack head, loser with no job(I make a good living selling life ins, she is a janitor), said SS hates me, calls my family white trash, says I will never have a relationship with SS if she has her way. Finally for my own mental health I have left all responsibilities when SS is over to my DH...he is starting to get frustrated that I do not "put in an effort to be in SS life anymore because of what his bitch BM says". But I am sick and tired of having no respect/getting constantly belittled by this woman. I would not put up with it from anyone else why should I allow her to treat me like shit because she is BM. DH defends me when she says anything but that just makes it worse, I told DH if she pulls this crap one more time I will block her from calling the house so she will only be able to call his cell. I hate being a "glorified babysitter" for a child we have to pay child support to see. At first I felt really bad doing this but it is the only solution I could think of. I do not ignore SS when he is over but when it comes to bedtime and getting ready in the mornings its all on DH now.
Now a couple months later SS and I have been getting along even better since I have stopped doing "parent" things. He even says "I have so much more fun with you than my mom shes boring, I wish I could live here all the time", he tells DH he wants me to read with him before bed I couldn't believe it! I still have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when SS is around but it has made his relation ship with his dad better to. He sees him as equal to his BM now and not just the "weekend dad" his BM was trying to make him. It was so hard at first but now it has worked out and it drives BM crazy and I could care less!