happy with my decisions
for more than twenty years dh did not lift a finger in defending me against his bratty children. bm had full custody and he was a typical guilt ridden disney dad.
i learned to stick up for myself in these insults to my authority in my own house. i learned to pop the bubble of their self absorbed entitled egos and came out victorious. the skids eventually grew up and moved out. i actually kicked one adult skid out of the house, who was over 21, for daring to say to my face to "go to hell." the big surprise was dh having the balls to agree with me on this.
when the skids were still teens i would buy them things in the store that reminded me of them, clothes, toiletries, things of that sort. now no more.
i would see something in a store and be reminded of one of them, i would pick it up and consider it, a favourite color, etc. and buy it for them.
now i look at something and consider it and remind myself of the lack of appreciation and all the hurt the skids caused me.
its a great feeling that i no longer allow myself to be hurt.
20+ years you lived like
:jawdrop: 20+ years you lived like this... I could not even do 8 lol, I stopped after 8....
and I really do not care, thanks to this site and the disengagement link lol...
Aergia was super nice to me last night, that explains the weather..... I was super nice back... still have no idea why she's suddenly nice, and I do not care, I just know something is going to happen lol.... Oh wait her club is having a function, i use to sponsor the kitchen with goodies for them to sell, not this year though, BM took over last year and refuses to do anything this year, SO says he already pays club fees, he's not sponsoring anything... and the rule is if you do not donate you have to do 4 hours kitchen duty.... guess who's going to do 2 hours Saturday and 2 hours Sunday
Aergia hates working.....
she did ask SO for donation,
she did ask SO for donation, he replied with I already pay club fees and believe me calculated to US 250 per month..
excluding driving to it daily - out of town....
BM simply told her NO - ask your new mummy.... Aergia knows me to well, she will never ask me... cause I will laugh and say - remember 3 years ago you told me I'm not your mother eff off... well guess what I'm still not your mother..
Oh I believe BM is stark
Oh I believe BM is stark raving mad, .... this is how she is....
she fought for Aergia tooth and nail, she got Aergia.... then SO started dating me, BM ran to courts - 3 years later and sign over all parental rights (yes over here you can do it - you are no longer responsible for the child) Kicked Aergia out of the house at 2 o clock in the morning.... we never heard of BM again, nothing for a year and couple off months... I took over and loved this girl, treated her as my own, my heart simply broke for her... got her on the right track and went to things with her, basically everything parent would do...
18 months later BM called Aergia and told her she loves her blablablabla things changed, Aergia asked me if it's okay to have lunch with BM, Aergia was still very angry, I always told her - she will always be your mum, she will apologize and just be patient, do not talk bad about her Hon... I said, yes Sweety go to lunch with Mum, it will be good, she will always be your mother and you might have a relationship one day... Aergia came back 3 days later, told me F@uck off c^nt you are not my mother - .... Aergia moved to BM... 6 months later BM kicked her out, Aergia moved back, I moved out and disengaged... and so it goes, every 6-12 months
You have a big heart, and
You have a big heart, and your husband is a lucky man to have you at all.... His Algeria is messed up and I think she is beyond what anybody can do... You've been a trouper!
That is the only way to exert
That is the only way to exert a little control isn't it?
Same thing here. SD would get mad at BM and refuse to visit. I would step up and do the 'mother' type of things. After getting a burned 1 too many times on this, I have stopped.
My husband, though a
My husband, though a wonderful man, other this this way--a dismal failure; never has defended me in 7 years---in fact, he has never even defended himself against their insults and just keeps going back for more regardless. It is pathetic to watch, but he can do what he needs to do; so can I.
You're fortunate if your husband EVER defended you....I would pass out- if mine ever did! After about eight years of the horribiy insulting bs, I woke up one day and said absolutely no more for me.
I have heard DSO tell others
I have heard DSO tell others twice that what his kids did to me, and his reactions to them vs me, and that it wasn't right. My jaw hit the floor both times.
It has taken DSO almost 7 years of being a CP to realize that his kids are little assholes like their Mother and he is finally over it. We still have 29 months before the youngest is 18 and graduated.
One good thing about DSO is that he feels when you are 18, if you don't go to college, time to grow up and figure life out on your own.
its pathetic to have to stand
its pathetic to have to stand back and watch him castrate himself so he can get the favor of his spoiled children isnt it?
dh clued in only the last few years but only long after his balls were cut and discarded.
You are a SURVIVOR! Dang
You are a SURVIVOR! Dang girl. You are strong to put up with that for 20 years. I wouldn't be able to. The next time you see something in the store that you "previously" would have bought for them, let it remind you to do something/buy something for yourself. Just say no to ungrateful disrespectful skids.
thank you for the compliment!
thank you for the compliment! i stood my ground all those years and now i get to watch the skids grind themselves into the dirt by their own hands. ditto for the in laws who suported the skids in the campaign to get dh to divorce me.
+1 for saying no to ungrateful skids. i just spend more money on myself.
i know the disappointment all
i know the disappointment all to well. one minute they are gushing at the gift and a week later making nasty comments about you their father.
no need to deal with the disrespect and lack of gratitude. on top of this, bm who never bought anything for her own spawn, said i was trying to buy the love of her children. bm was jealous that i made money money than her.
Revenge is a dish better
Revenge is a dish better served cold... or so they say. I prefer to enjoy mine in a hot, steamy, savory manner with a nice glass of deep red vintage Bite Me on the side.
Good for you for no longer tolerating the toxic crap from your DH's prior relationship spawn. No Sparent should have to crap about SKids if their spouse is nothing more than an abject parental failure waste of parental skin. If DH will not step up and parent before you have to then he can STFU.
IMHO of course.
Enjoy.