frustrated
DH and I make every effort to send skids to BM in the clothes she sends skids to us in. To try to keep down on confusion.
The problem is that I run into issues on "return" day when SS6 and SS8 suddenly realize their pants are too small, or WAY too big and run to me expecting that I should do something about it. SS6 even said to me one morning "I think you should call my mom and tell her that she needs to buy me some pants that fit". Of course I let him know that I cannot tell her how to manage her household, but it did make me shake my head at the fact that even the 6 year old is this aware. Anyway, I used to feel bad and replace stuff with something from the kids' closet, but then I realized our things would never come back. Not only that, if either SS forgot or switched something with things from our house, (e.g. a belt, a jacket, etc), I (not DH) would get a message to "make sure that I send all of the clothes back next time". And the one time I washed some pants sent from BM house, the snap fell off in the washer and the zipper had started to unravel (they bought cheap knock offs of a name brand label)
It didn't take me long to stop trying. When kids come back from BM, they take their cat/dog hair covered clothing and place them in a folded pile to be worn back on "return" day.
This morning, SS6 got dressed and came downstairs with what looked to be a wet stain down the crotch and back of his pants. I thought the kid had peed on himself! Turns out SS6 sat in syrup on Monday morning while eating his rushed breakfast in BM car. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "mommy was supposed to bring me more pants but she never showed up".
I'd already had to wash SS8 jacket on Monday evening because it was covered in syrup from when he wasted it all down his arm! SS8 said BM joked that "so that's where all of your syrup went".
I don't know which is worse, refusing to take the kids to school to eat their free breakfast, making them eat their breakfast and make a horrible mess while you drive them to school, or realizing you are sending your children into the school covered in sticky syrup and doing nothing about it. UGH!!!!!!
Have DH pick up some extra
Have DH pick up some extra clothes at the thrift store. They're usually in decent shape and the price is right if they don't come back to you from BM's house.
Skids almost always come to us in old clothes, or in clothes DH would never dress them in (short skirts, strapless tops, etc). So we have to be ready to change their clothes almost every time.
We're flying down to see them this weekend in Texas .. and will have to pack clothes, medication, and shoes for them for the weekend. Last time we picked them up, they got into the car barefoot.
I never thought of that. I
I never thought of that. I tend to just not even worry about things not coming back, between what DH and I bought and what DH parents we probably have enough to clothe 4-5 kids for a few days before we'd have to worry about washing them.
I'll have to share that idea with DH though for future use.
Oh and you're headed to my home turf. I hope you pack for summer, fall and spring.
We're experiencing at least 2 seasons each day this week. Late Fall/Early Spring in morning and by afternoon, the summer heat takes over. But by dinner time, the cool of fall creeps back in.
Well BM picks skids up from
Well BM picks skids up from school. So I doubt there's a way to make that work, unless we went to the school to make them change before going home and that's just doing too much I think.
During holidays and school breaks when exchange time is moved to 6pm, that is EXACTLY what we do. And I know what you mean. I am always so embarrassed when I go to pick up skids at the school after spending time with BM and they come out looking the way they do!
Gah! I know what you mean.
Gah! I know what you mean. Thankfully we have skids for most school days, so we are responsible for how they look on most days. I used to get really frustrated when I would send clothes back with skids and never see them again, but I eventually got over it because like you I really did feel like it did the kids some good to go to school comfortable and not have to worry about how something fits or doesn't fit.
My issue today is that BM makes jokes when skids are going to school dirty and even told SS6 she would bring him a new pair of pants. Sad part is that BM's mother is the "keeper" of the uniforms because BM mother found out BM could not be trusted to wash skids clothes regularly. So BM would have had to buy a new pair of pants or go beg for a pair from her mother. I'm 100% sure that when she told SS6 she would bring him a new pair of pants, she knew there was no way she was going to do it.
Anyway, if I'd been an evil SM I would have bad mouthed BM for not being able to carry out her duties one day per week, ignored SS6 crying about the situation and made him wear the pants to school".
But of course, I try to be the bigger person. When will I ever learn?
My SS does go to his grandmas
My SS does go to his grandmas very much, but we pack a bag of play clothes stuff he can get dirty. The only thing that doesn't seem to come back are socks. We are always buying socks. LOL
My daughter however has had some problems about clothes not getting returned. And has to ask for them. And granddaughters Daddy has dressed her in clothes that are to small and sent her to school and daycare in those. Which my daughter hates. She dresses granddaughter very nice. I would never spend the money on a childs clothes that she does. But my granddaughters looks cute. They no longer send clothes back and forth. Just getting what she wore over there back doesn't happen. They do work together on this though. My granddaughter has a good Daddy and SM.
control it while you can....I
control it while you can....I stopped trying after my sd insisted in taking her brand new clothes and extra in a bag because her mother of the year dont wash her clothes..Lazy a*** B***. So i'm glad you can control, i got tired of telling her anything on it...down to socks...eventually they ran out..because she takes them and never comes back with them...so my daughter is force to use mine..so unfair...but it my life...
That really sucks. If custody
That really sucks. If custody stays the way it is then I think we will be able to avoid losing our clothes. Except for in extreme cases like this morning, I don't swap out clothes anymore. If things don't fit, I just say something like "I'm sorry, but I have to make sure I send you back with the same things you brought over here so that no one is confused".
when this happened to me, i
when this happened to me, i actually thought i was insane for making a big deal over the clothes, well atleast my dh and sd convinced me of it. I let it not bother me no more its her clothes and eventually she will ran out in my house..then what? so sad cuz i ain't buying more!!! I'm glad ur skids are still young..i cant say that my my sd...she willlll have a shit fit with d-a-d-d-y...and most likely i'd be to blame!
Goodwill and other stores
Goodwill and other stores like it are the answer to your issue. Throw out the ill-fitting, stained, ugly crap that they show up wearing, replace with $1 thrift store item, and problem solved. And who cares if the item ever returns from BM's house? There's plenty more where that one came from.
We have skids immediately
We have skids immediately change and shower when they arrive at home. One of the things I love about our house is the full bathroom in the basement off the garage! The laundry room is right next door. The skids toss their dirty clothes in the washer and I'll wash them. I'll lay them out for the skids to wear when they go home.
However, DH does make it his responsibility to purchase clothes for skids for both homes. We take the skids back to school shopping and buy them clothes at Christmas. We've also just had to purchase SD new clothes due to a growth spurt. BM is just to lazy and/or cheap to buy the kids clothes. Several times when BM has purchased SD8 clothes, they are super cheap and/or trashy looking.
For Easter, my aunt gave SD8 a gift card to a store called Justice. BM insisted on taking SD8 shopping. Knowing that SD8 needs an entire summer wardrobe, she bought SD8 this:
http://www.shopjustice.com/girls-clothing/floral-one-shoulder-dress/8391438
AND SENT HER TO SCHOOL IN IT!!!
We have the same issue...
We have the same issue... Everything SD takes to BMs disappears! Unfortunately now SD has all these nice clothes at our house (that we bought) but she is even afraid to take them over to BMs because she knows that she'll wear them once and then BM will not wash them (or will ruin them in the washer... Sd would wash them her self, but she is very petite for a 10yo and has trouble reaching the knobs even while standing on a step stool)... So I took SD to the thrift store one day and let her pick out a whole bunch of clothes that she could wear at either house (she had a blast).