DH has always been a good dad to his now teen son however SS behaviour has been on a downward spiral for a few years. I won’t get into it all or I will be here forever however earlier this year his behaviour and disrespect got so much worse that DH told him to “grow up and don’t bother coming back until your behaviour changes”. I never thought it would come to that but it did. His behviour and disrespect started causing hurt throughout the family and started messing with our younger sons head. He was lying, some very serious harmful lies, wagging high school, physically hurting his younger brother including holding him under the water at the pool to the point our son was sick for 2 days! being straight disrespectful hitting really hard thinking it’s a “joke”, being really rude etc. Now yesterday hubby missed a call from SS and he left a message saying “call or text me I guess.... f***n asshole man”. You could tell by the tone etc that this was directed at DH no doubt about it. But hubby called him back and he said “oh I don’t remember saying it I was with my friend I said it to him” then SS chatted with DH like there has been absolutely nothing wrong. I asked hubby after the call what is happening going forwards with SS and he said “I’m not sure we will see”. 

Now I really hate to be that person who says it but over the last few months our family life has been so settled and stress free. We haven’t had to deal with SS behaviour, DS has been more settled and to be honest DH has been so much happier. I mean the whole situation with SS has always been stressful especially over the past 3 or so years as he’s gotten older and started lying. But I’m worried DH is going to sweep everything under the rug and expect things to get back to normal and SS will start staying over again like normal. DH is the sort to sweep problems away and pretend everything is fine. I’m so worried about life going back to the way it was. I have told hubby this and he got annoyed and said “I’ll sort it, it won’t etc” but he won’t sort anything he never does. I’m so worried and depressed at the thought of dealing with all this bull all over again. It actually kept me up all night and I feel like just crawling into a hole in the ground. To be honest it’s enough to make me want to pack mine and DS bags and leave and never ever look back. SS has caused so much trouble and hurt and I know DH will let it all go back to normal again. Stepping back or leaving when SS visits isn’t an option. It’s not even so much him being here. It’s the lies. He told family so many lies about the way we were treating him. He told them that we always say it’s his fault DS has a brain injury from him pushing him off the tramp and says that we make him cry about it. You know what we never have once even mentioned that incident to him, even when it happened he never got in trouble!!!! That hurts that he’s trying to get sympathy off our sons accident that he caused! Yes he did cause it but we have never ever spoken to him about it! 

What would you lot do? How would you cope in this situation? I honestly feel like telling DH that I don’t want SS and his drama here period but that won’t go down well.....