You are here

An excellent read for any parent - step or bio!

Calypso1977's picture

this is an article from NY times wherein they basically say the "cool kids" dont usually amount to much and the nerds go places.

i personally believe this!! The cool kids from my class went no where and me and my nerd friends have done quite well for ourselves.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/06/23/cool-at-13-adrift-at-23/?_php=t...

Orange County Ca's picture

The cool kids become more self centered while the rest go about doing what has to be done. I've yet to find a job that pays one to look in a mirror.

frustratedstepdad's picture

My math teacher in high school would always tell us: Nerds rule the world

Drac0's picture

I agree with a lot of what the article states, but I think it also fails to speak to the different phases kids have while growing up.

DW and I often reminice to each other about what we were like in HS. DW was the typical rebellious teen (cutting classes and sneaking out for smokes and beer with her friends at 14). She was probably the epitome of "pseudomature" as the article describes. Me on the hand. I was (and still am) a geek. I excelled in academics and was a "goody-two-shoes" all throughout HS. Had DW and I crossed paths in high school, I don't think we would have been on each other's radar. Geeks - by definition are anathema to the opposite sex in HS, and DW would have been viewed by me as too volatile to even approach.

But when DW reached her 20's she matured somewhat. After SS was born, her life changed. She was a Mom now and realized that her boozing and free-spirited days were over. Me on the other hand? Well I was the one who went wild. I was now the one getting drunk every weekend and waking up the morning after on park benches and bathtubs...and my school marks began to suffer (I was in college at the time). I was John Belushi in "Animal House"

So while some of the cool kids at 13 have a hard time coping at 23, it doesn't mean they'll be struggling and remain immature at 33. The most popular kid in my HS ended up in drug rehab in his 20s but he managed to pull through. He's a totaly different guy now, successful and very responsible. Likewise, I know plenty of geeks and nerds who "went wild" in their 20s and even their 30s.

I think we all eventually end up in the same place mentaly provided the support structure is there.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I was a geek, my parents were very strict, and I was never allowed to go anywhere near a party in high school. In fact, my first party was at age 20 when they went out of town! I didn't really "go wild" until I was 23, and that lasted less than a year. And that was after I finished college and started a successful career.

hereiam's picture

The kids who went through high school only worrying about how their hair looked, had no idea how to overcome any obstacles once they left the school environment. They had no true problem solving skills or any idea about real responsibilities.

Rags's picture

I think there is something to this. At least for the traditional high school folks that I have spent time with. We did my bride's 20th HS reunion last summer which is my most recent reference. The article discusses the cool middle school kids but there is likely some corelation to HS also.

The popular kids, cheerleaders, class president, football jocks, etc... were all working relatively menial jobs while most of the successful people who attended the reunion were the brains/nerds and fringe folks from her class. DW was a 16yo single teen mom for her Sr. year of HS. She was petrified that her classmates would remember only that. Interestingly at her 10yr reunion many did remember that she was a single teen mom and were shocked that she had only one child and was finishing her MBA.

At her 20th no one but her close friends even remembered that she had been a single teen mom in HS. The popular kids were still struggling to make ends meet and the geeks were thriving. Including one very attactive woman that I engaged in conversation with throughout the reunion weekend. She was an engineer as am I so she was comfortable talking with me as I was not a part of the reunion core. I was just there to be my bride's arm candy. }:) Wink Fluffy 49yo arm candy that is.

It was interesting to me that this woman was not engaging with her former classmates much at all. She is a very petite shapely red head. At the last day event (a picnic in their home town park) I asked my DW why Jae was not engaging with the class and was hanging on my hip. My bride replied, Jae used to be Jay, JJ or John Joseph. She was a he in HS. Because you are an engineer she feels comfortable with you. Jae is extremely successful having been part of several Tech start ups so I suppose could be the poster child of the geeks are successful theory at least regarding my brides HS class. My bride was a moderately popular poor girl band geek in HS. She is now an MBA/CPA and very successful in her own right. She and Jae have stayed in touch for this past year and are going on a girls trip with a few other of their HS chick classmates this summer. All former geeks by the way.

The most interesting thing about that reunion was that several of my brides male class mates approached me to share that they had huge crushes on my bride in HS but never asked her out because they were afraid she would say no because she was "sooooo beautiful!". Few people remembered that my bride's family were dirt poor farmers or that she had an out-of-wedlock kid in HS. The shocker of the reunion .... I won coolest spouse at the formal dinner/dance. Woo Hoo!!! An engineering geek wins again!!! Wink Wink

My class on the other hand is the antithisis to this model and example. I attended a military boarding school. The popular/leader kids have predominantly gone on to be successful as adults while the geeky kids have not fared so well. I believe that environment has much to do with outcome even for the geeks. In the military school environment the leaders were good students, strong atheletes, did a lot of extra curricular activities, etc.... The environment invested heavily in those behaviors and as such many kids that very likely may have been in the geek squad in a traditional HS were developed in to leaders.

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing it.