party time!
Forums:
So, 2 years ago, DH and I threw a 13th b-day party with a dj and everything for my BS. We asked my SD's BM if we could do the same for SD and asked if she would be interested in sharing the expense. She flipped out! Said no way could we do that for SD. Well SS and my other BS are 20 days apart in age. We are doing the same for my son and plan to include SS as well. Would like your thoughts and opinions on: do we tell BM (who will pitch a fit because SHE is not the one throwing the "cool party" AND will most likely insist on being there) or do we just do it and tell her later? Thanks!
Don't tell BM or SD as it'll
Don't tell BM or SD as it'll be a surprise party. Is there any logic at all explaining why she thought she had control over your actions? I mean has she been given this control in the past?
If it can't be a surprise because you want to invite friends whose contact information you don't have you'll have to spill the beans. I assume it will be on a normal visitation day/night. Don't forget to invite boys - a necessary part of any 13yo girls enturage.
it's SS's party (I realized I
it's SS's party (I realized I wasn't very clear). BM had shut us down on having one for SD a few years ago. We will be making flyers for him to pass out at school. The problem with that is that BM regularly checks their backpacks etc (she has no boundaries when it comes to her kids having any personal space) and if we send SS home with the flyers then BM is most likely going to see them and she will create drama for him and for us before the party. We are also afraid she might throw them away if she finds them telling SS he is not allowed to have this party. We have never given her this kind of control, she just takes it. She makes everyone so miserable that she usually ends up getting her way in the end. Before I came along, DH had no guts to stand up to her at all but he is slowly getting there and letting BM get away with less and less... so I guess she kind of always had control now that I think about it.