ENOUGH already- cops called
I haven't been around much... Mainly because SD13 hasn't been around much. The manipulation and anxiety she gets from BM is taking its toll. I have been reading ST and, honestly- our life has been so drama free lately. This is when I knew the other shoe HAD to drop. LOL
In a nutshell, BM is batsh!t and mean. She pretends to be MOTY, and SD13 is so coddled and babied that she is impossible to be around. BM has also convinced her that I'm the antichrist...
Well- she has gone too far... She went to my office and vented about me to colleagues who I supervise and train. She said incredibly derogatory and disgusting lies about me. They were so shocked- mainly bc her and DH broke up 11yrs ago, and she made it seem like I'm some homewrecker. LOL- I met DH 8yrs after they split!!
I have no idea what she was thinking or what prompted it... I haven't even seen her since spring 2012! Of course it got back to me immediately and i have gone to the police and filed harassment charges. We have put up with so much 'for the sake of SD13'. Well, I'm done... She is finished... I no longer care what SD13 knows or doesn't know. This time, DH doesn't care either. I have never seen him so angry before.
BM has been let loose to run free and cause destruction wherever she goes. She is vile and she has messed with the wrong girl. I truly think she's so deluded and entitled that she thinks I would just cower and ignore it. True to form, she's denying it and accusing me of lying... Right- just a few witnesses there dumba$$.
Keep you all posted on what happens after the police pay her a visit. }:)
GOOD FOR YOU!! Sometimes all
GOOD FOR YOU!!
Sometimes all these crazy ones need is someone to stand up to them like a schoolyard bully. Then, somehow, they are miraculously able to keep their crazy in check.
Go ahead and top it off with
Go ahead and top it off with a RO so when she ramps up crazy over harassment you can beat her over the head with that and keep her away from you, your work, your home.
step talk need a "like"
step talk need a "like" button!!
I have posted this before and
I have posted this before and I will post it again, these nutso BMs, I figured out what they all share in common...
In their mind, it doesn't matter if you came during, immediately after, they left, or a decade later - to them, YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN - and it MAKES.NO.SENSE....
Their actions are of a woman scorned even in the cases that THEY LEFT - they still treat the new wife like the other woman, and its in everything they do and say...
Then, to add insult to injury, you get these guilty dads who bend over for BM which just fuels the thoughts BM formed that you are the other woman because these DHs act like they have done something wrong by moving on....
I will vent this again and again - its my new discovery - that is doesn't matter when you come along or who left who, BM will always consider you the other woman and act like a woman scorned...
Oh - and NAIL her A$$ to the wall.
Absolutely true!!!! BM was
Absolutely true!!!! BM was having an affair, DH moved out, BM moved BF in within 2 weeks of DH leaving. Divorce happens. BM married BF within 2 weeks of divorce finalized. DH met me 2 years later and I am a homewrecker!! LOLOL
Someday the skids will realize that the timeline does not add up and then BM can answer their questions. }:)
Isn't that the truth. A
Isn't that the truth. A friends husband's ex told the grandkids (10-14 years old) that my friend stole grandma's husband from her.
Bm and the dad were married for a couple of years and divorced in their early 20s. He's older than my friend so when he was divorcing his first wife my friend and I were in MIDDLE SCHOOL - we were not stealing husbands!!!!!! Shoot we might have still been in elementary school.
My friend didn't even meet him until she was in her 30s. Crazy BM is now in her 70s and claiming that SM stole her husband (at what 12?) My friend's DH never once considered reconciling with BM - he converted to Catholicism and had the marriage annulled almost a decade before he met my friend.
BM had been divorced for 20 years when she attacked me for being with DH (and remarried for 10).
You are very correct in that.
You are very correct in that. Even if they are the ones who initiated the breakup, they don't want him but they don't want anyone ELSE to have him!
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I agree you need to get the
I agree you need to get the RO.
I work in a supervisory and
I work in a supervisory and training capacity for a large chain of stores. She randomly went into one of them. Thanks god to one who knows me well.
Thank you!
Thank you!
I am smiling such a big goofy
I am smiling such a big goofy grin right now reading through all of your responses! Thank you for the support- you guys are the best!
SO- an update!! (oh- and background- they were never married! They had broken up after a 1yr relationship and she called a month later- pregnant- SD is now 13)
Police left here and tried to call her- no vm, no ring... hmmm.. turns out in the last week she has changed her phone number YET AGAIN... DH came home while cop was here and he scrolled through some nuisance calls on his cell- sure enough she has a new number.
With the information I have on her, the police told me I have grounds for arrest. In the past, she has been an incredible pain and we are convinced she is a sociopath, compulsive liar with narcissistic tendencies. BUT! she has kept it to her ghetto friends and to members of the family who know better, so I shook it off. This is the first time she has gone this far. I decided not to have her arrested, more because then I would have to involve co-workers for witness statements. My reputation has taken a beating and I'm not sure if more gossip is the way to go. (this may come back to bite me, LOL)
Cop told her
- no more contact with me
- no more contact with my place of business or anyone there
- no phone, emails nothing.
- ZERO tolerance or I would press charges of Criminal Harassment and put her in cuffs. He told her I am putting an RO in place.
SD13 and a friend were home at the time....
The only contact she is to have with us, is with DH and only for custodial issues.
The drama now is that she is lying to SD13 and telling her "OCS is lying about mommy and wants to put her in jail." SD13 spent about 4 hours on and off with DH last night. Some of it calm, some not so much. The kid and I were always wary of each other, now she is outright telling DH she wants me out of her life and never to see me again... no worries there, kid.
BM is saying she never went to my place of work and that I'm lying. She says she doesn't even know where I work... good grief.... she is more and more off her rocker. I can get security camera footage to prove she was there and 2 witnesses to the nonsense. She has been made aware of all of this and that I will not hesitate to have her arrested at the slightest peep.
My DH has been so incredible through this. I'm tearing just writing it. I'm so incredibly sorry that his daughter had to witness it, I'm sure she was scared, but at the same time BM had to be stopped and understand that what she did will NOT be tolerated.
SD told DH last night that her stepdad will be having his lawyer contact me.. LOLOOOLLLLOLOLOOL! bring it on! I told DH to stop defending me, it only makes SD more defensive of her batsh!t mother. I have the law, the truth and a sane mind behind me- I can't lose!!
I will update as more things unfold- but right now- BM has been silent other than through SD- lol- she knows better.
Forgot to mention!
Forgot to mention! Manipulation 101.
SD13- "Now Mommy will never talk to you again! What about my graduation and concert and my wedding?!? You'll never be allowed to be there?! Daddddddddddyyyyyyyyy??????"
DH- "SD, Mom is not bad person, but she said bad things about OCS."
SD13- "Mommy said she would never say mean things about OCS- she doesn't understand why OCS is being so mean? Why would she want mommy to go to jail and leave me and my baby sister alone????" (bm has had a baby with new husband and another on the way)
stick a fork in my eye.
Good on you for not
Good on you for not tolerating that shit. Hopefully it puts a stop to her doing something like that now she knows she could be arrested.
Poor kid, has no idea. Hopefully she doesn't grow up to believe her mother bs and sees through it.
I don't think that you should shelter as from her mothers actions.
I think it's important to be honest and to teach children honesty is important . The truth is the truth, facts are facts. If BM is spinning lies well why can't you tell her the truth.
Your husband sounds like a great man!!
I like how he said to her that mommy is not a bad person she just said bad things.
SD13 is completely unwilling
SD13 is completely unwilling to have anything to do with me at the moment. She is and has been brainwashed by BM. Anything she says is gospel.
If and when visitation occurs moving forward it will be without me and at my in-laws house. (I'm not leaving my own house) DH only had EOW as it was, and very sporadic. There is some PAS going on as well. The control issues are huge, BM will call every hour when she is with us etc.. if we take away the phone then poof! DH doesnt see her for a month- all the usual BS.
I'm completely ok with this because quite frankly, I'm glad to have the time to myself. Visitation was always tense and not enjoyable for me. Maybe that makes me a horrible person, but I'm ok with not seeing her- I simply dont care. I just feel bad for DH.
When she calms down and if she wants to talk to me, I will, but I'm not forcing it. Neither is DH. Their relationship could use some alone time anyway- WIN, WIN.
SD is in counselling- BM blames DH for it, of course, and when DH asks, SD13 spins a false story that she TRULY believes. It is so sad. Compulsive lying is genetic apparently.
After years of harassment,
After years of harassment, property damage, threats from her & her friends, phonecalls & texts every 10 minutes, stalking us, banging at doorstep at midnight, I finally went to court for a restraining order against BM once we got her on camera. Best thing I ever did. When she violated the temp restraining order, we had her arrested. 2nd best thing I ever did. I finally have some peace to deal with all the court stuff.
After harassment report, get your order of protection. She'll be no longer able to go anywhere you go or you can have her arrested or even if she calls you from another state, there will be a warrant out for her arrest. She can't even talk to someone about you as you can have the on the restraining order as slander.