very much, but I think I am luckier than a lot. The harder part is DH. Having a baby was a huge strain on our marriage ( my DH is bipolar & had a break down 1 week after the baby arrived) He is much better ( almost a year later) but he makes us more divided still. For a while he had it n his head any time I got on the kids for stuff that I hated them & only loved our baby. Got real old real fast.

I had a LOT more work with a new baby & it was time for all the other men ( and lazy kids) to put on their big boy pants & not just expect step mom to do it all. That was the problem.

This question comes up a lot & some wise woman on here has said in a non blended family no one worries about whether the kids want a baby or not so why should we be soooo concerned about skids. If there is love, then there should be enough to go around.

Having a bio child was the greatest thing that ever happened to me & no one should ever be deprived of that.

I did this thing where we made sure H and I still had our special time with SD(5 years older than first dio- 14 older than 2nd)-even if it was just walking down to get the paper together, we are now doing the same with both older kids since the baby came, my sister does the same and hers are both bio- I think thats the most important thing is that any child knows they are still loved for themselves then they are not threatened(in my case even when BB told SD H's new baby would make us not care about her-crazy ), by the time we got pregnant w/baby SD was almost to the moon with being a big sis, although I think she might be tempted to trade her other brother(bio 10) for a cat somedays- but for that matter I wish sometimes I had traded my brother for a cat : )

There is no reason where logic does not exist

My pregnancy caused a major broohaha with BM. She went on the warpath and generally made our lives hell for a couple of years. But as for the skids, they were great! We don't do the half or step thing. They are all brothers and sisters. I think knowing that everyone in our family shares a blood tie either with our through someone else such that we were all connected makes a difference. It does for me, anyway. I know I felt closer to my stepchildren practically from the time I found out I was pregnant with their sister. We have five altogether... SD16 is not biologically related to either me or DH (BM cheated), SD15 and SS13 are from BM/DH, BS10 is mine from my previous marriage but DH adopted him, then we have BD5 together. I never noticed anything "steppish" about any feelings any of the kids ever had towards each other. They've gone through all the usual sibling rivalry stuff, whether step or bio, half-sibs or full-sibs. I do feel like BD5 completed the circle.

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ANNE 8102 | GEORGIA

I said this before. Anna is our glue. No step between her and anyone else. Our kids have no use for the term "half" either.

I also think that each of us having our own kids when we entered in helps too. I can't imagine how impatient DH would have been with my oldest son, if his daughter wasn't getting into trouble. We were also just talking about this the other day. We agreed that because we both have a bio parental bond, AND a step parental bond, that we can more easily understand the other's feelings toward their BKs. So when BS 13 is a big jerk, or SD 13 is screaming at me, we both understand how the BP can still love them anyway, even if they don't like them at the moment.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra