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Doctors Visits

misschristina95's picture

Hello all,
I am very frustrated right now. I am wondering if anyone knows if I can stop the ex wife from using my address as her own? I get mail for her here and it drives me crazy. Not only that but every time I take the kids to the doctor and she has been there with them before me she always has her name and my address. She has never lived here. She puts responsible party as her name with my address. She is NOT the responsible party at all (I could tell you stories). The children live with me and the BF.
Also in the divorce papers it says she choose to go back to her maiden name... but she still uses her married name.. its going on three years now... How can I get her to stop using it? I am curious because our names are very close and I do not want out credit scores to become mixed since hers is so bad. Now that she is using my address for things, I am scared that once I marry my boyfriend that our names will be so similar with the same address, it will be hard to separate the two... any suggestions?

And to just vent really quick... the stepkids go to the doctor way too much. Every little cough and they run to the doctor. I was not raised that way. I am fighting a losing battle here. Especially now that the H1N1 is around. The BM is suppose to pay 25% of the medical bills, and we never see any of it. But of course she is all about taking the kids the doctor any chance she can get. it does not matter for what, she will pull them out of school and take them. Its nice to spend other people's money I guess. I guess she does not even care because she knows that we will pay for it because it is in our name because the insurance is in the BF name. We have been working on buying a house and working on our credit, so she knows we will pay for it all. Sad UGH.
How can I change that? He is required per the divorce papers to hold the insurance... How can I make sure she is paying her fair share? Maybe then she will stop convincing the children they are going to die without going to the doctor?
How many times a year on average does your SK go to the doctor? It is impossible reasoning with the SK because they are teenagers and their BM knows best. Last week the oldest SK went to the doctor to see what her allergies were, we got the bill... now yesterday she wants to go again because she is still not feeling well. I said, did you get your allergy medication? she said no. but she still wants to go to the doctor anyway UGH!!!! That is why you are still not feeling good... what is the point of going to see what you are allergic to if you are not going to take any medication for it????? (she lives with BM)...
How can I stop the medical bills from piling up???
Thanks for reading,
Christina

Orange County Ca's picture

Write on the mail "Not here" and put it in your mailbox for the postman to pick up the next day along with a note asking him that mail addressed to her be marked undeliverable.

You are powerless about the name and money part if your husband chooses to not stand up and enforce the court order. You must accept this lack of power if you are to successfully live with a man who has children with another woman.

misschristina95's picture

How do you stand up and enforce the court order? He is scared to take her back to court because he thinks they will make him start paying child support for his 17 year old that does not live with us. She goes to school, has a job, and a full time boyfriend... a 17 year old does not want to hang out with her dad all the time... We have the two younger kids, and the BM barely sees them. but he is still scared that they will make him pay her child support. So how do you enforce the court order? Go back to court? Or is there another way?

unbelieveable's picture

haha! This is so funny, are you sure your BM and my BM are not the same person? Every little cough, belly ache, even skinned knees...this nut calls an ambulance! She is a nut!

FH pays the fsk's insurance - so he takes care of everything - imagine that?

Last night she called FH 6 times! 6! To ask him how to break a fever? Your kids are 7 and 5 and you don't know how to do this? Maybbbeee it's because her mother has been raising them so she could go out and get snockered...These women should have been sterilized well before their children were born! He pretty much never went to the doc - other than for immunizations and things like that. My parents are no doctors but hey - I'm still here and healthy!

damn drama queens...

Stepmom2Ched's picture

I would suggest NOT changing your last name once you get married. This way, you both will NOT be mistaken for each other.

As far as the mail coming there in her name, write, "Return to Sender, No such person living here." Instruct your mailman that mail for the following people ONLY be delivered, and list those people's names.

In the divorce decree if she chooses to go back to her maiden name, then it's a CHOICE...if it's in the decree written She will no longer be known as Mrs Jane Doe, but will be Mrs. Jane Smith" or something to that effect, then yeah, she's playin' the system.

If she's putting her name and your address as the responsible party, then SHE should be the one paying the bills. The responsible party usually means the one whose took out the insurance. Have your BF question the doctor's office about their billing practices. He'll be the one who has to set it straight due to HIPPA restrictions and all.

Now as far as illnesses...my SS goes quite a bit, but it's because he has allergies, asthma and other respiratory problems (which he got from his mother, coz she has all that too!) So Yeah, he's seen quite a bit.

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~