Do you ever let your guard down with older skids?
How many of you feel like you can be yourself 100% around skids? I say older just bc thats my experience. I can't. I don't trust them, I don't feel comfortable around them and I don't feel like they deserve to know me! LOL- I know that may sound conceited but I am a genuine, loyal person with a lot of love to give and they don't deserve any of it!
FDH says I just need to let my guard down and keep pouring my all into a relationship with SD16 and "she will come around" :sick:
HELL NO
So I'm just curious, How many of us can be ourselves, show all colors of emotions, share stories and traditions with our skids who have made up lies, stabbed our backs and would like nothing more then to see us fall off the face of the earth? Or those who have good relationships with their skids and are able to maintain a positive relationship- I wanna hear it all! Give me hope 
I absolutely cannot do it.
I absolutely cannot do it. Maybe once upon a time when she was younger, had she not been allowed to treat me like crap, but not anymore.
No. Never. I can be cordial,
No. Never. I can be cordial, even fun. Being with the skids (adults) is usually not a terrible experience, but I am definitely the outsider and I am cautious about what I do and what I say.
nope. guard is always
nope. guard is always up.
this is nothing negative against them, just a fact of life.
kids will say random stuff, especially to people they care about. i dont need MIL to start with her shit again if one of the boys just say something in passing while telling her a story about what we did over the weekend or something.
kids talk, nothing wrong with that. BUT, their filters are as yet undeveloped, and some things i've purposely kept away from them (adult issues, they need to just worry about kid issues) so they may inadvertently say something about a sore subject they're unaware IS sore.
i'm always myself, personality wise, but i try to watch some things i say or do, to either protect them or protect our family.
I used to have my guard down
I used to have my guard down with my SD13 and SS18..but this past year has taught me that SD will never change..she is going to grow up and be a bitter, selfish unlikable girl. She expects for me to be nice, but then not an hour later throws jabs at me. My SS is different...he has been with us since he was 13...and he has grown up to be a wonderful young man...so much that he demands me to cook for him certain meals...demand as if I'm his mom...I adore this boy. I can't wait till he makes me a grandma...
IF by some miracle SS9 comes
IF by some miracle SS9 comes around again when he's older, I will NEVER open my heart up to him. Not after he stomped all over it the first time.
Nope, and my skids have never
Nope, and my skids have never been horrid to me. I just can't trust them; I do not share the values they've learned from their mother, and I do not trust that they will treat my confidence with the appropriate respect. I am kind, in my own way I love them, but I do not (and doubt I ever will) trust them enough to be fully open.
Thats how I feel, If SD16 and
Thats how I feel, If SD16 and I ever do get closer, there's been so much damage that and lies and twisted words- she cannot WAIT to get dirt on me and run back to her mom and ppl in FDH's family that doesn't like me. I don't think I can ever trust her or be 100% myself around her.....I have never tried to be her mother, tell her what to do, nothing. The only thing I ever did was take her mini wife status and I will never be forgiven for that }:)
No. I've tried. I have a
No. I've tried. I have a natural mothering instinct but, unfortunately for SS(7), if I follow those instincts then DH doesn't do anything. In order for him to learn how to be a parent, I stopped trying to be a parent to SS(7). Also SS(7) is very smart. I can have a conversation with him in passing and he knows, although I'm sure he couldn't express what he is doing; he just does what he knows gets him what he wants, and he twists it when talking to his BM. For example, we had a conversation about having a job. His stance is that jobs are awful and he never wants one (gee, I wonder where he learned that attitude? Perhaps from his non-working government assistance receiving mother??) I didn't say anything about her. I just explain that having a job can be rewarding and make you feel good when you accomplish a task or provide for the people you love. He told BM that I said she's lazy because she's a SAHM. Never said that at all. Do I think she's lazy? Yep, because it is very apparent from her actions that she doesn't do her job as a SAHM and from her constant badgering of DH for more money. But I would never say that to my SS(7). She now thinks I just put her down to SS(7) even when I tried to explain that context of the conversation with SS(7). Because we both know her little angel is perfect and wouldn't ever make stuff up, would he?