Do sleepovers count as vacations?
CO currently states that any trips away from the home are required to be communicated to the other parent with a minimum of 7 days notice. This was intended to cover out of town travel for vacations, etc; but it's written in a vague way.
Skids have been invited to a sleepover at my sister's house this weekend. Would you count this as something requiring notification to BM?
I know it seems petty .. but we avoid the excessive communication when we can. Giving her this head's up opens up (in her mind) an avenue for debate and discussion, and is often interpreted as a request for permission.
As a parent, would you want to know if your kids were attending a sleepover at a family member's house? DH doesn't request or make a fuss when skids are staying local for sleepovers, but we can't say the same for BM.
After you get the girls, have
After you get the girls, have DH drop an email just informing BM of the plans for the weekend.
If you posted about BM's reaction to the girls new weekend activities I missed it, let me know how it went.
Oh .. she flipped, as
Oh .. she flipped, as expected. Tried saying she would disenroll them and that he needed her permission .. yadda yadda yadda.
He didn't reply to any of it. Her fourth and final emal on the subject was "okay fine what ever". So as far as we're concerned, activities are a go
I suggested to DH that he send her a quick one-liner letting her know where the skids will be, but I'm hesitant to give her my sister's address and phone number, which I absolutely know she'll ask for.
Believe me, I agree with you.
Believe me, I agree with you. I just wanted a quick gut-check as to whether this was unreasonable. I get the "if you were a parent, you'd want to know" line quite often .. but I don't know that this situation is unreasonable.
BM will flip because she takes any reason to. Idk that giving her the head's up to prevent the flip-out is wise for the simple fact that it reinforces her flip-out behaviors.
It's ultimately up to DH; BM doesn't provide similar info when these things occur on her time and DH doesn't request it.
If BM doesn't inform your DH
If BM doesn't inform your DH of where the girls are during her time, I would not inform her of a sleepover on DH's time.
She can flip after the girls get home and tell her what a great time they had. }:)
He does do a good job I
He does do a good job
I won't really be all that worried if he doesn't tell her .. I just try to avoid the "if she did it, we can do it too" mentality. In theory, we should all be held to the same standard; but I'm not sure not doing something just because she doesn't really sets the precedent for what's best overall going forward, kwim?
You're right, you're right.
You're right, you're right. Over-analyzing and over-thinking are definitely faults of mine. :O
It's only so intense for me right now because they're so close to finalizing a change order (WAYYYY overdue). Just nervious that little things like this will hold up the process because BM will decide to add every situation/scenario/possibility to the order.
DH has it under control .. and he does a good job .. I just need to trust that a little more
Yes, they most definitely do
Yes, they most definitely do this crap just to be controlling!
SD just started kindergarten and DH is going to have her during the week for school & BM will have her on weekends. BM agreed to this arrangement with 1 condition- that DH be the one who picks SD up from the school bus every single day. Apparently he does not spend enough time with her because he has to work normal hours and picks SD up from MIL's when he gets off around 5-6pm.
She literally expects him to cut back his hours at work so he can be the one to get SD off the bus every day lol
Right. My sister is hosting
Right. My sister is hosting a birthday party sleepover for my niece .. we'll be at the party most of the evening and she'll spend the night with all the other kids.
It's so stupid to me that these simple little things, normal childhood things, become issues in divorce situations. Granted, I may just be over-analyzing, but nothing ceases to amaze me anymore.
Our BM is nuts and we
Our BM is nuts and we wouldn't tell her.
There was the odd occasion SD would sleep over at her cousin's house. (same age etc..) BM would never say anything except a side remark to DH, " Well- you're lucky my baby girl had fun at her house!"
Have fun at the party!
It seems a little excessive
It seems a little excessive to have to let BM know that SD will be staying the night at a family member's house. My SD stays with MIL a lot and we have never once made a point to let BM know about it (of course, it's also not in their CO). I think it would just create more contact than you need or want with BM. I can MAYBE see if it were a weekend at her friend's house (although I still feel like it's Dad's time, Dad's decision), but it's a night with family. I don't see the need to tell BM anything.