Dh moved out
Well dh moved out with ss12 into a 3 bedroom rental, so there is enough room for myself and dd4 when he we visit.
Dd14 and bs14 are following all the consequences that I've plaid out. Yes, they do complain a bit, but for the most part they do what they're told. They came back from their bullying seminar that I signed them up for, and they are remorseful not only about ss12, but about the others too they have bullied (they're still going for be going for a while though).
As for ss12, my bios say that he avoids them during school for the most part. I have instructed them to leave him alone. They do say hi to him in the hallways and he says hi back- shyly but he replies.
Dh and I have been talking and were thinking about going to a family therepist to help re-bulid the trust between the three of them. How long do should we wait before having the three of them sit in a room? Just wondering. I wanna go at the proper pace because things like this could possibly end marriages.
I so don't like this
I so don't like this arrangement. But since it's done, find a competent therapist (not the nincompoop that suggested he move out) and work on reuniting. Don't let DH allow SS12 to have too much power in making the decision when everyone gets together, he's already got too much power now.
Ya I don’t like the sounds of
Ya I don’t like the sounds of this arrangement either. The kids messed up but I feel like you are the one really being punished. You already went to extreme measures do correcr this.
To me I also see it as telling the kids (on both sides) that you guys aren’t united and can be divided.
The longer you live apart the more difficult this will be to repair. I would get into counselling immediately.
UPDATE
Dh and I are getting divorced. He moved out and I felt that he was pulling away. When Bm found out what transpired between the kids and hell broke loose. The kids were actually starting to get along again but dh was distant. Bm would drive down to visit SS(she never spend the night at Dh's place. She always got a hotel room and SS would stay with her).
Dh doesn't play mind games. He's very up front and to the point. Long story short, Dh isn't happy anymore and wants a divorce. He also said he really doesn't want to be around my bios anymore. He's was actually starting to hate them and doesn't want them to grow up with someone that doesn't care about them at all. That's not fair to them or him.
He's still an active parent to our dd (who turned 5 last month). So Yeah I guess I'll leave it at that.
I'm sorry. I wish you the
I'm sorry. I wish you the best moving forward.
This is for the best. I wish
This is for the best. I wish you all the best on your journey.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I
I'm so sorry to hear this. I commented on your post from 6 months ago, not looking at the date (I'm newish here), I apologize. This may be the best for all of you. Good luck to you.