I really pity the ex because of the amazing man she discarded!! BD has a science project due today and dh and I helped her with it. Dh was so happy and proud it made my heart melt.

Thing is Dh did all the projects and homework with the skids (but ex claims he did nothing) he also brings my kids to school and when I am working picks up (he did this with skids too) I would consider this quality time!!

The ex has been telling him hes not spending quality time with skids because my kids are there too. But he reads for 1/2 with sd every night and plays a game with ss when theyre here. Plus he goes up to visit them weekly and takes them to dinner. Ex says the only quality time they get is dinner? I just dont get it? Its not quality if not 1 on 1, but dinner he has both..So she doesnt consider it quality time unless it is skids only?

Shes also using the weekly visits and setting him up. Before he gets there shes sitting at table with skids and a notebook listing everything they want changed. List is usually..move closer.. leave wife and kids.. Visits alone ( they want me to leave on weekends with my kids) go more places without the family. Eat out more.. better clothes..vacations without me and kids.

We have planned to visit his parents. Skids were excited (they had it in their mind that its not my family so I wouldnt go) when he told them that is my family they both decided they werent going. Ex backed them up saying they dont have to go visit grandpa bec it wouldnt be fun if I was there. Ex does not like his family. He has talked to them more since we have been together than he did in the 14 yrs he was with her. The kids just met his brother for the first time and she text me to watch my kids and hers bec they have a child who would molest them! My nephew was abused by his mom but has never ever hurt anyone in his life!!

Skids would not even talk to him!!! After we visited they were saying ya he looks creepy, hes a molester. I told my kids right there in the car, thats not true. The skids started to argue and dh pulled the car over and explained that saying things like that when untrue is a horrible thing to do!

I have made it very easy for him and skids to have 1 on 1. My kids will go to a sitter so we or just they catch a movie. Or theres been at least 1-2 times a month I have to work overnight and get a sitter or family member to watch my kids.

Last week ss called mom to come get him early on Sunday..she showed up at the same time dh would have been leaving to drop. Then her and skids went to a show in our area. The next day ex calls saying kids arent getting time with dh? I dont get it? SS calls to be picked up early bec hed rather go to a show than see dh. So dh asks ss if he wants him to pick him up..ss says no! But then ex is calling again pissed off that dh didnt come on the day she wanted him too.

Dh and I have been doing everything we can to ensure these kids feel loved and get the qt they need. What irks me the most is the ex is asking dh to come on her weekend so how is she spending qt with them? She doesnt take just 1 to do something, or arrange special stuff every weekend why should we?

Her weekly schedule doesnt allow her to be home until after 5 and they eat dinner on the couch, anytime dh calls before 8 both kids are at a friends. Why is it a one way st? Skids say she doesnt spend qt with them..Im starting to think that they have learned a new system of getting what they want by making dh and ex feel guilty. I know they are both good parents as far as they love their kids and do what they can. The only thing they lack is discipline and neither of them can tell when the skids are lying. Im wondering if its because neither of them have actual conversations with them.

Theyre so stuck in their blaming battles and guilt. That they cant see the real problems. Skids are using tears and manipulation as a way to communicate but lying about whats really wrong. Fact is dh needs to have skids more and get them into a good working routine while helping them blend into our family. And ex needs to spend time with them and stop using their talks as ways to alienate and destroy dh's attempts to make them feel loved.

Ex only wants to talk to kids if their complaints are about dh. Its the only time she lets them speak their minds. SS says hes tried telling her he misses her etc and she says give me a break Im here all the time its dh who is gone.

There is a difference between being here..and being HERE. Am I wrong? I cant fix this! It continues to affect my family and no matter how hard dh tries ex undermines all his progress. There really should be some kind of advocate for blended families who try try try but the ex just ruins everything for the kids!

Shes got to have something to hide or be afraid of if she wont even allow the skids to talk to a counselor? Anyone else having these issues?