DH coaches SS11 in football every year. Last night DH gets home from practice and tells me that SS11 had bitten another kid on the arm and left a bad bruise. According to SS11 he had gone into the equipment shed to put some things up and another kid threw something at him and hit him in the chest. Apparently SS got mad and asked the kid if he wanted to fight. The other kid had 2 friends with him and they all piled on top of SS and wouldnt let him up. SS ended up biting one of them to get them off of him. The boy that he bit was the son of another coach so DH went over and spoke with him about the incident. The man was, understandably, upset but had also only heard one side of the story until speaking with DH. The man told SS11 that he shouldnt be biting no matter what but never said anything about his sons behavior.
DH told me that he wants SS to do whatever he has to pritect himself so he wasnt really upset with him for biting the boy. He was. However, upset that SS was in the equipment shed playing bc he knows he is not supposed to do that. I told DH that he should have asked for he other version of the story from the other boys dad and that it might not have happened like SS had said it did. I mainly questioned it bc SS has a history of lying and becomes physically aggressive very quicly when he is upset. I also told DH that he better hope the other parents dont take the kid to the Dr. or hospital to have the bite looked at bc they could end up coming after us for the money. I told him he needs to talk to SS and let him know that he needs to be completely honest with him bc if the boy ends up seeking medical treatment we would have to fight it and if we dont know the truth we cant do that.
Fast forward to today. DH meets me at dr. for a check up for BD1. DH tells me that he hasnt been able to stop worrying about what i told him last night. He said he was oing to talk to SS about it again and try to get the truth. he also planned to talk to the other dad today. After the appt DH goes to pick up skids. When they get home SS is acting all mad and DH says he was upset bc of what happened last night. SS walks into the kitchen a little later and I ask him whats wrong. DH then says that SS is mad that DH told me about it, and SS says "yeah because you have a big mouth and go around and tell everybody everything". EXCUSE ME!!!!! #1 I am an adult and you WILL NOT under any circumstances get away with speaking to me like that....#2 You sir have your mother and I confused, She has a big mouth and blabs about everything. I on the other hand dont deem it necassary to walk around sharing our personal business with the world. #3 Unfortunately, you have acquired that trait from your mother and thus is the reason that we refuse to speak about ANYTHING of importance within ear shot of you. #4 You need to to thank God right now that you are not my child because if you were I would smack the taste out of your mouth and whip our ass up one side and down the other. (Dont worry, this is just what I wanted to say but didn't).
DH is standing there this entire time and not saying anything. I went off on SS telling him that he has no right to speak to me that way. So SS decides to roll his eyes at me and that's when DH decides to speak up and tell me to calm down. I say to DH that he needs to get his son in check and that he will not tell me to calm down bc its disrespectful. I then storm off and lock myself in the office. DH waits a little while and then knocks on the door. I tell him to leave me own but he keeps asking me to unlock the door. By this time I was crying because I am so frustrated. He refused to let me be and I let him in. I told him repeatedly to just leave me alone. He asks me why I am upset with him and I tell him that he allows SS to talk to me that way and never bothered to correct him but instead corrected me. This jack Ass has the audacity to tell me that SS is only 11 years old and doesn't know any better and he cant help bc of how his mom is. Yeah well SS seems to help it just fine with he is talking to other adults such as teachers, grandparents and even his own parents. SS also seems to help it when he wants something for me such as the new PSP games I recently bought him and will now be repossessing due to his attitude. By the way DH your mom is a loud mouth self absorbed hypochondriac that spends thousands on dr visits trying to get diagnosed with illnesses that she doesn't have, yet somehow you seem to never want to go to the dr and you wont talk loud enough for me to hear you let alone an entire store full of people. So see just because your mother is a certain way doesn't mean that you will be the same!!!
Am I wrong for feeling the way I do about this. SS and I have had a rough relationship since we met but I felt like things were getting a lot better between us. I do everything for those kids. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I have bought them pretty much everything they own. I dont miss anything they are involved in such as sports or school events and I am there for them when they need someone to talk to. I go above and beyond to spend one on one time with each of them. The only thing I ask for in return is respect. Please tell me if I am wrong to be upset with SS and DH.