How many SParents have SOs that do this in relation to convincing the SP to accept baggage, poor parenting, and lack of partnership? There are many variants. Some definitions and characteristics are below.
It appears to me that far more than a few SPs suffer this with their supposed partner.
Noun. crazymaking A form of psychological attack on somebody by offering contradictory alternatives and criticizing the person for choosing either.
One of the most insidious and damaging of the behaviors of the emotional abuser is the “crazy”-making behavior. Not only does the emotional abuser often accuse the victim of literally being “crazy” or gaslight to try to trick the abused into thinking they must be “crazy,” but the abuser actually uses what we call “crazy”-making behaviors, which have the same effect.
What is a “crazy”-making behavior? It is behavior that is made to sound very logical and practical, but which actually makes no sense and/or serves to give options that only punish the abused.
Blaming others and making excuses
Diminishing the contributions of others
Spreading inuendo and rumor
Exaggerating the importance of the target’s contribution
Demanding respect because of positional power or service longevity
Being impatient or frequently short-tempered
Talking down to others. Acting entitled to specific treatment or privileges
Justifying their poor treatment of others
Complaining about lack of opportunity