confused
my DF and i started dating back in 99. then broke up 3 years later. since then he found someone online, moved to GA (from jersey), got married, had a baby and is now divorced. i am totally scared to be a step mom. (he has a 3 year old daughter). did anyone not know how to relate to their newly step kids? she is so cool... very personable, funny, has her dad in her a lot. sometimes i cant help it and look at the situation knowing he was already married when here we are planning our wedding... my first. he has already had a wedding with someone else. i want to know how can i get over the fact that he was married to someone else, and had a baby. like i said, she is really great, but part of me wants to get over the fact that she came from (a product) of their past marriage. i want to be a great step mom, but want to get over this so she and i can form a real bond. im lucky that she is only 3... this way she will ALWAYS have a memory of me and not remember her parents getting the divorce, which we know, can stay with someone for the rest of their lives. thanks all!
Just
as you said accept it.. It will never change. I know I deal with the same issue and I too was married to someone else and had kids and so was my hubby now. And I hate the thought that he was married to someone else and has kids with them and it wasn't me. But its a double standard really because I am perfectly fine with my kids.
I think that you should also remind yourself that this little girl is only 3 and is opening her life to you so jump in and take it. Have fun with her and just remember she is your husbands child. Try not to think of the mother just think of him. That may or may not help.
BUT LOVE her for sure.. Spoil her with love and affection..
Happy
That's great advice Happy.
How come men never feel as sad as we do that they didn't have kids with us? They seem to accept it so much easier. I know it's the most major issue with me. That's my second question for God (if I get into heaven). I knew I would get in pre this marriage...now I am not so sure with these horrible thoughts about the ex. Hee hee....I really want to know WHY he/she/it didn't allow me to have a child with my soulmate? (First question is why did he take my perfectly healthy mom after only three months of being diagnosed with a rare cancer at 67 years old.) Not a day goes by that I just wish I could hug her again. Anyway, the point is to accept what we have - today - and that's it...we can't change history...I wish I knew my stepkids when they were 3!! From the photos they were just precious!!! You will enjoy this stage that's for sure. Good luck.