Cant stand SD.

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I am aware this post is going to make me sound like an awful horrible person but I really cannot stand my SD (8) so much that I prefer to refer to her as my partners child. Time was agreed to be split 50/50 between her and her bio mum but dad seems to have her over that time as Bio mum is all work work work and enjoys the idea of mother hood but not the reality! She claimed having her too much is like being her child's executive PA which she isnt - erm its called being a mother?!) She claims shes so bad off (dad pays her over £800 per month and that's not including all the rest and the fact that we provide her food, lunches and all the over bits when shes in our care. Bio mum was adamant her precious daughter must also go to a private school which of course, my partner has to completey fund as well!.. (this is a whole seperate issue, as my partner is in debt and struggles...yet is too frightened i think to stop any payments or suggesting his ex contributes. She is rough as hell and very vocal and aggressive and threatens him that hes not seeing his child if he goes against anything she demands or has put in place...?!!)

I have tried to put the fact that I HATE her mother behind me, and try to have somewhat of a bond with this child. but she is truly insufferable and I have come to start to accept its only a bond a bio parent could have. She doesnt listen and certainly does nothing she is asked. She rules the roost and is daddys little princess. She is the most rudest spoilt little girl I have ever known. I have been in her life since she was 4/5 (at that point she still had a dummy and slept in her parents beds every night! she still does at her muns) I think shes been spoilt due to the fact her parents split at a young age but its done her NO favours. The way she speaks with this horrible spiteful tone, she hits if she is told no or doesn't get her own way. You will never hear a please or thank you. Christmas, Birthdays..unless shes perhaps told. Ive given up myself and my partner only asks her if i mention it. The worst part is her mum and dad both think shes so cheeky and 'sassy' when in fact she is a horrible little brat. It doesnt go unnoticed. I dont wish to go anywhere in public with her because I can feel people picking up on her behaviour especially if she has a full on fit.. I just want a T-shirt that says 'THIS IS NOT MY CHILD'. I can only say lockdown has been somewhat of a blessing, as im not having to go out with her.

I dont feel relaxed or like im living in my own home when shes around and i find myself purposly segregating myself. She has to have TV on, ipod on, all the toys out. and will scream and cry if i suggest she cannot do all and its unfair for her to dictate everything when shes not the only one who lives her. My partner is afraid of upsetting her and just wants to keep the peace so I have given up saying anything and stay out the way.

I love my partner but . I cannot see a serious future with him on a long term basis. I want my own child but the situation has made me put this off...in a way I think having a siblings would be a good thing for SD as she has no concept of sharing or all the things that come with being a sister and it would maybe teach her those things? However, I am also aware the boat might have passed and her behaviour is not really fixable when she has parents who have allowed her behaviour to become the norm.

I have address everything to my partner who in defence, said 'well she has lots of good attributes as well'. and he will 'try and work on it'

Just this morning she started hitting him in bed as she came in at 6am wanting to go downstaires and for him to put the tv on. He said its too early which she proceeded to violently hit and slap him till he got up and went downstaires with her. You can see that my relationship is suffering with this.

Anyone else had similar situ?!

I don't think having children

I don't think having children would help. I would be concerned SD would be aggressive towards them and treat them poorly out of jealousy.

If you want children I would definitely re-evaluate your relationship. You shouldn't be denied the opportunity to have your own children to raise someone else's child

Your partner is the problem

Your partner is the problem here. Poor little girl has no parents to teach her right from wrong, of course she acts like a wild animal. I can see why she annoys you, but he's the root of the problem. And he pays BM for the privilege of not parenting, as well?

I think your instincts on cutting this one loose are good. This girl is only going to get more powerful and challenging.

Your SO is the problem

He not parenting his DD. But being her servant. This relationship is not going to work.

Thank you for giving me a

Thank you for giving me a glimpse of my life 2 years down the road. She isn't going to change, if anything get worse. Dad will certainly NEVER change and if you bring a child into that hot mess express your child will be held to a whole other level which will make you despise the child that much more.

It surely is Mom and Dads fault the way she is but don't let that fool you into thinking that the behavior can be changed because I promise you it can't and will not. Kick his sorry ass to the curb and do it with a smile so she can see it too. The best part when I left the first time was having that snot bag walk into the house and see nothing remaining except for her baby toys that her dad refused to let go of and her 3t clothes (she was 5t at the time) Toys/Clothes/ everything were items I was promoting my daughter the same age to share. F*CK that! Now that for whatever damn reason I decided to try again.. last weekend she went to go back to her moms and happened to have a pair of my daughters socks on her feet (we no longer share.. she doesn't have it tough shit.. it doesn't fit.. tough shit. look like a hobo in too small of clothes.. take it up with your dad) I digress.. she went to put her boots on and I noticed she was wearing my daughters socks. I went and got her dirty socks out of the basket and told her she could put those back on and had her hand me my daughters socks.

I don't work my ass off to pay for my kids things for her to run back to her mommy dearest with those things, I don't care if it's just socks.

Get out of there before you do something you are going to regret. He very well could be a stand up guy and a better dad with a child with you but she will ALWAYS be there and his parenting style with her will never change at most he will make it not so obvious.

Thank you for giving me a

I don't work my ass off to pay for my kids things for her to run back to her mommy dearest with those things, I don't care if it's just socks.

Here's the thing . . . 8 is,

Here's the thing . . . 8 is, in my experience, a pretty good age. They're old enough to do things on their own and to help out, they're not particularly needy, they can handle their own hygiene for the most part, use manners and entertain themselves. They have opinions and might be starting the attitude and back-talk a bit, but they haven't reached the obnoxious tween/teen stage yet. If a child isn't likeable at 8, I don't think it's going to get any better without some serious intervention and changes. In your case, it doesn't sound like anything is going to change.

Becoming an older sibling is highly unlikely to help and would probably make things worse. Her father suddenly becoming a good parent, in light of the fact he hasn't been willing to make changes to date, isn't in the cards. If she's already hitting adults, then Katy bar the door, because she's only going to get bigger and stronger.

I wouldn't want to bring a child into this environment, or have this failed parent as the father of my child. If you want a child, you should probably give seriously thought to moving on and finding someone different to make a family with. Life with this child is not going to get better.

".They're old enough to do

".They're old enough to do things on their own and to help out, they're not particularly needy, they can handle their own hygiene for the most part," i wish with all my heart my SKs were able to manage their own hygiene. 12 and 13 and still pooing in their pants, or on the floor. Don't use soap when showering, don't brush their teeth between their monthly visits to us (due to distance). Nope nothing medically wrong they are admittedly just lazy. ?????!!!!!!!

I agree with all of the above

I agree with all of the above comments ,, it will not get better especially if the child is unlikable already. it will only get worse ,, at 8 she is already hitting people ,,as she gets older you can garrentee to add stealing , lying , manipulating to the long list of sissues coming your way,,,oh and dont forget the resposibility with no authority ,, thats the hardest one . plan your exit and goodluck

I Think I wrote this lol

8 yr old can't turn on a tv? Looks like dad is too busy trying to be the fun parent and mom is trying to be the favourite. At this point you need to just step back from trying to parent and probably your relationship.

Just know you're not alone in your feelings and experience.

Also protect your finances at all costs. Good luck.

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