Can BM do this?
Tonight SO has been honest with BM and told her he took there daughter to my house which she hasn't allowed to do by her rules, there's no court orders or anything. She's not happy now and is saying he has to stay at hers until she can trust him again and will FaceTime him randomly when he has them overnight.
they was going through mediation but she backed down and admitted she couldn't afford it and came to a mutual agreement but now she's changed her mind yet again. She also took him to CMS which you know, she is within her right to do.
Mediation has said to SO because he has PR he can do what he wants with the kids and meet who he wants (aslong as it don't cause danger).
im just sick of the dramas now, I'm so close to ending this crap. I said until this crap is sorted I'm not being part of this.
End it! End it now. End it
End it! End it now. End it yesterday. Your SO is already bowing down to BM....girl that won't change (if ever) for YEARS down the road. You are in lap one of a life time of drama and heartbreak.
To answer your question......BM can do whatever SO allows her to do. Legally? Hell no she can't do that, and your SO should be telling her to eat shit....but he won't. She doesn't have to trust him ever......doesn't matter....it's not up to her.
All she can legally do is make it so that your SO can't have members of the opposite sex spend the night while he has the kids......unless he gets married of course...then that goes away...but it will also apply to her. Ask me how I know? Ask me why DH and I got married ONE MONTH after the divorce.......muah muah muah ***evil laugh***
Haha nothing applies to her
Haha nothing applies to her she moved her partner in a few weeks after kicking SO out.
RUN! As fast and as far as
RUN! As fast and as far as you can!!
No legally she can’t do that.
No legally she can’t do that. Yes I agree with the others, he is allowing bio mum to behave that way.
Deffo! He says he will ring
Deffo! He says he will ring mediation tomorrow and talk to a soliciter.
Move on. Tell him its YOU not
Move on. Tell him its YOU not him.
Wish him well and wave bye byeeeeeee.
Go Be HAPPY!!!!!
If your SO bows to the other
If your SO bows to the other bio parent the relationship is doomed. I am very sorry to hear this.
He has been told that he can
He has been told that he can do what he wants.. and that he doesn't have to do what BM wants.. so he shouldn't.
Unless there is a stipulation in their paperwork on him not having overnight guests of the opposite sex.. she lost her ability to tell her husband what he could do when their relationship was over.
sorry.. he should not answer skype.. facetime or whatever. She cannot withhold the children on his time.
I know , I've reminded him
I know , I've reminded him what solicitors and mediation has said. We rang mediation today they spoke to him and her. Apparently she says the receptionist has said the mediator wouldn't of said what he said about him having PR and as soon as he leave her door it's up to him but this mediator we met was clear as day and matter of fact kinda of person, he couldn't of put it any more clearer.
apparently if he doesn't answer she's going to come down to his house and collect them from him.
he needs to not answer the
he needs to not answer the door. he is fully within his rights during his custody time. He needs to have a copy of his order.. and when she won't leave his property.. call the police.
He absolutely does not need to surrender the children to her.
He does not have to answer the door.
He does not have to answer the phone call.
If the police are called by her for a "welfare check".. then he can talk with the police.. explain that it is his custody time and that his EX is harassing him.. and he is not under any obligation to answer to her. They can report to her that the kids are fine.. although upset about the scene she has caused.. and will be returned to her at the end of his visitation period.
Can he do it without a
Can he do it without a written order? because there's no court order or written order or anything. He is just on the birth certifciate because he is there bio dad. all we have is "word of mouth" as it were from soliciter and mediator.
We had this situation as well
We had this situation as well. BM kicked and screamed and went to her solicitor to try to stop me being around when DH had the skids. Solicitor said as long as I wasn't a danger to them, she might not like it but there was nothing she could do. This is where it becomes very difficult for skids...they wanted to see DH but they didn't want to upset BM. It's REALLY important though that DH stands his ground otherwise he'll be dancing to BM's tune forever.
Sorry to hear you've been
Sorry to hear you've been through a similar situation. Her soliciter has apparently said because she is the main guardian (even though he has PR) she can tell him otherwise, also the solicitor has said if she thinks I'm a danger to be around her kids so then uses my mental health but I've gone to a soliciter who has said unless there is a safe guarding issue in the here and now and she reported me to the sociel then yeah she can get some order against me until then unless she's got a court order not much she can do.
Of course she can't do it
Of course she can't do it unless he allows it.
She said she's going to come
She said she's going to come round to his house if he doesn't answer her and take them.
I've said to him I can't be with him until this is all sorted. He says he feels like I'm punishing him for something she is doing. I said I have to protect myself and girls. This is just dragging me down.
IF she does, he should call
IF she does, he should call the cops because she'd be trespassing. Make sure he has the papers stating his situation with the kids to show them that he has every right to spend time with his kids.
You aren't punishing him for something she is doing, he is punishing himself by not standing up to the woman. He is allowing her to behave towards this, enabling her.
He unfortunelty doesn't have
He unfortunelty doesn't have papers as there's no court order or anything. We've just been told by a mediator and a solicitor that because he's on the birth cert he has PR therefore he can do as he sees fit.
And he is I completely agree.
He is in the process of mediation and if she don't call back by next Monday to say she wants to go to the joint mediation meeting I think we get a c100 (court later).
let her....then call the
let her....then call the police. let her make an ass out of herself. Honestly, it's more than likely an empty threat so I would say to her....'bring it".
Im sure she keeps going on to your SO b/c she knows she controls him.....once she realizes she doesn't dictate his life...the bullying stops.
BM here is a huge bully......so her go to threat when DH and her were divorcing was to threaten going to his boss and getting him fired....so in turn he did whatever she wanted to keep her from getting him fired....then one day he had enough and told her to go ahead and go to his boss and then he just drove off......and she never threatened him again....nor did she go to his boss.
Tbh that's what I told him to
Tbh that's what I told him to do, it's his time, he can do as he pleases, same with her.
she's just moaning lately because she ain't getting her own way and she can see he's trying his best to stand up for himself, she just doesn't like it.
Gawd what an awful BM she sounds. Last week his ex threatened him with 50/50 access (so half the year he looks after them & then she does or something like that she was proposing also telling him when doing that he'll have to quit his job or find another one lol but later she calmed down and said she can't afford mediation or anything.
She is delusional. Time for
She is delusional. Time for the police to deal with her tresspassing on SO's home. She can't do shit without exposing herself to significant consequences as far as Dad's CO'd time with his kids is concerned.
Time for daddy to put his foot up mommy's ass.
smh
Actually glad this weekend I
Actually glad this weekend I'm not seeing him and as I'm "not aloud to be around them". I can just relax and do what the hell I want and not put up with this drama.
I've said to him I can't be
I've said to him I can't be with him until this is all sorted. He says he feels like I'm punishing him for something she is doing. I said I have to protect myself and girls. This is just dragging me down.
Funny he feels like he's being punished so what the heck does he think you're feeling??? These are not even your kids. Who in their right mind would want to deal with this shit show? He needs to get it under wraps and stand up to her crazy antics. Once he handles his business perhaps you can entertain being with him.....until that happens oh well......
sorry, not sorry
I know right! He should
I know right! He should understand that I'm just protecting myself and my girls.
completely agree.
The "plan is" we contacted
The "plan is" we contacted mediation today, she has got until Monday to get back to them if not we hopefully get the c100 (court paperwork).
we also spoke to a soliciter today who was very helpful and said what she's doing is nonsense, Jeep contact with the kids and bite his tongue and go through mediation or court for a child arrangement order.
so until the shit show shows a bit more stability (yeah I'm kidding myself) lol then maybe I will see about sticking around but for now we're taking a break.
Good for you ClimbMountains!
Good for you ClimbMountains!
If you don't take care of you & yours no one else will.
Ha. It's only going to get
Ha. It's only going to get worse from here. She's controlling and he is allowing her to continue to be delusional in controlling what he does and how he parents. It will always be like this if he's played along already as you say he has. Run now. It's not worth the drama. Do you want his kids mom to control your household in the future? Because she will. Just wait until the kids are old enough to insta text mommy every step you do or don't do.
Today I told him that me and
Today I told him that me and our shared daughter felt almost felt like a dirty secret, I mean we're engaged and his kids haven't even met me yet. It's like he keeps me and DD hidden because of BM telling him what to do. Enough is enough.
he keeps saying things will be different now and he doesn't care if she starts threatening, Yesh bud I believe it when I see it. Honest I've forgiven this man for so much stuff, mostly of how BM has affected us, I'm seriously thinking of running.
He has made his choice by his
He has made his choice by his behaviors. He has betrayed and failed you and your daughter.
Make your choice. You know what that is.
So do it.
Any man that hides you and
Any man that hides you and his own child isn't worth staying married to....in my humble opinion of course.
If he loves you and the child you both share how can he hide you? How can he be ok with upsetting BM more and place her feelings above yours? If he's going through these lengths to hide all this imagine what else he is capable of? This man has no respect or honor for himself, you and his kids.