ok so I have tried to tell DH before that I am removing myself from the situation with his kids.. mostly SS who will be 13 in less than a month.. after the week from hell, I lost it, I told him I was serious, the kid is 100% his, I will not watch him (and yes he does need someone to watch him), I will not do ANYTHING for him, told DH "pretend I am not even here..he is alllll yours", so that was friday night, saturday morning DH gets around and he is heading to the hardware store, I was like umm dude where the french toast do you think you are going..duhhhh hardware store, ok so take your kid, he is sleeping.. wake him the eff up!!!!
They get back from the hardware store, they were givin the wrong stuff, Dh asks if I will watch him, I said didnt you hear me last night, dont take it as a joke.. take your kid.. this happened a few other times..I sat all day sat. and all day sun. and watched DH not address any behaviors.. once again allowing him to behave the way he is.. like a complete jackass.
SS is woke up after the other kids go to bed, his behavior has effected the other kids enough and if that means that he has to be woke up so they can not be subjected to his nonstop bullshit.. then thats what we will do.
I sat and listened to DH try to get some straight answers..SS says he is mad at us for everything that has been going on..he says he knows its his fault though.. Dh coddles him and babies him thru it.. blah blah blah.. this went on for like an hour. finally I step in I was like umm hey SS, thats bullshit, you cant blame us for something you know is your fault, you cant go wreck your bike and then come blame us!! told him that things pretty much can not get worse and being honest is really his only option at this point.. then he throws this out there.. "I want you guys to just leave me alone, dont tell me when to shower, eat, do homework, go to bed, nothing just leave me alone and let me live my life" .. so this is when I lost it a little.. DH tried to talk and reason with him.. can not reason with someone who is unreasonable.. I step in again and I say.. here is the deal you want us to provide for you (listed things) and let you do what you want when you want.. he looked at me like and lite up.. YESSS he says..thats when I made it painfully clear to him and his dad that if he is living in this house then he is going by these rules.. and if he does not or is not willing to then to speak up now and save the time and trouble..told him if he is told he takes a shower every night and he finds himself in the woods then he best hunt down a creek and wash up, when we ask something we want an answer NOW, and it best be honest.. no more of the bullshit 2 hours of him sitting there with a blank look.. I told Ss and DH I will give him one week.. if in that week I feel like he is not going by the rules he can pack his shit and wait on the porch for someone to pick his ass up.
SS will take the rules.. bed time at 9, and twist it and make it his own.. he will go at 9:15, then get up 50 times for a drink, or to go to the bathroom, when he is asked why he didnt shower he will insist he did (when I know for a fact he did not) then he will stand there and say nothing.. nothing nothing nothing.. I want something and it makes me insane.. he knows how to push buttons.. but he has never seen me this serious before.. and I let DH know that I dont care if he has to go live with his mother.. it would be worth paying her support to get him out of here!! He is my responsibility 99% of the time so he will do things my way. My bio kids have no option and they know it.. why baby him thru it.
of course SS tried to cry and talk about his mom and other things he usually gets babied for.. all I said was wipe off those self pity tears, you did this, you brought it to this..
I feel sooo much better..cuz if he does screw up, even one little tiny screw up.. someone needs to come and get him.. I will no longer give second chances..