If you were a man that was a sdad you would be praised "for stepping up" but as a smom the bm will be forever jealous and annoyed with you. I give you kudos and praise for raising a baby that you did not birth just like an adoption. Forget her for now she will soon be back on the party train I am afraid. It happens all the time. Ignore her. She is no mother! People brag all the time about men that chose to raise a kid that they didnt make, so the same is true of you. DNA does not make her shit to you or that kid. You are a mama!

I suggest you stop correcting him and stop defending yourself to that poor excuse for a mother.

The true nature of the title of Mom or Dad has very little to do with biology and nearly everything to do with taking the actions and responsibilities of being Mom or Dad. That BM takes exception to your son calling you Mommy speaks volumes to her failures as a parent and the incontrovertible fact that she is not “Mom” in any way other than biology.

The stance that many people take that a Sparent is not Mom or Dad because a Skid already has a mother and a father speaks volumes of their own insecurities in their position as mom or dad and has very little to do with the reality that many S-Moms and S-Dads are the REAL mom or dad in their children’s lives.

So, relish in being Mommy and relish equally in rubbing BM’s nose in her abject failure as a parent. I sure did. The toxic crap these disgusting people pull by confusing a young child over this issue proves their abject toxicity, complete lack of character, and that they are far from the mom or dad they claim to be.

I am the first person my son (SS-22) ever called Dad(dy) and the only fulltime and REAL Dad my son has ever had. Even now more than 20 years later I am “Dad”. My bride nor I pushed it. He chose to call me daddy. When he was a toddler and on Sperm Land visitation the Sperm Clan caused much hurt and confusion for our son with their toxic bullshit over this issue. On the few occasions that the Sperm Idiot and I were together with SS when he was a toddler Sperm GrandHag tried to play the “Where is daddy?” crap with SS. SS would say “Daddy” loudly and point at me. That would put the Hag into apoplexy and the Sperm Idiot would wilt. Kids know who their REAL mom or dad is regardless of the biology involved. My bride nor I ever badmouthed the Sperm Clan to our son. It was the Sperm Clan that caused the pain for him over this issue. He would come home from Sperm Land visitation upset and confused over why I was no longer his Daddy. Holding him and explaining that I was his Daddy and would always be his daddy made me angry and it broke my heart that these toxic toothless dipshits who are supposed to be his family would hurt him with their manipulative bullshit.

It was a few years later when he was older and could understand things a bit better that we began to expose him to the facts in an age appropriate manner. As his parents part of our responsibilities included giving him the information he needed to protect himself from the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool. Now that he is 22 I am still Dad. The Sperm Idiot has been demoted from Daddy First Name to “Gangster Dad” or just “The Idiot”.

Unfortunately as Sparents we can’t eliminate the toxic opposition who manipulate our children with their toxic and ridiculous insecurities. If we could do that I would have turned the entire shallow and polluted end of my SS’s gene pool into fertilizer many years ago.

Do not let this POS interfere in your relationship with your son.

IMHO of course.

Have fun.

Wait- You were married before the kid was 4 months old? So did your husband cheat on you with this girl, or did you marry a guy who confessed "Hey, a couple months ago I knocked this girl up"?

Not to say "you should have known what you were getting into"... but you should have at least GUESSED there would be some issues.

I posted a similar story awhile back and lots of people told me that SMs are NOT mothers and we shouldn't "allow" or expect to be called such. I was more than hurt and irritated. Many of the commentators were BMs, too, that clearly didn't understand how it is to be a SM without bio kids, too.

I'm totally on your team and agree with some of the other folks who commented. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

I've always said, if a kid understands his/her relationships with people in a certain way, who are we (adults) to correct them?

You go, momma!

See this is one of those things that is completely dependent on the scenario.
In your case the BM was absent, the infant was removed from her care and put into your care, so you became "momma", if your husband is working a 2 on, 2 off schedule then you have become this childs primary care giver. You are the consistent thing in his life. So long as he knows that his BM is his mother, that he came from her belly then alls good. It is far more damaging to a child of that age to suddenly turn around and discipline him for calling you something hes used to.

That being said it sounds like the BM has simply decided now to become more involved and this is what you need to be careful and protect yourself with.
If she has been clean enough during this pregnancy that she is able to keep her current baby then she may well be able to come and claim back more visitation with the toddler. We all know courts are biased towards BMs and if she has support of drug addiction counselors and psychologists claiming shes seen the error of her ways and now wants to be a proper mother to her children, thats when it gets messy for you. Because regardless of the past the bio-mother always outranks the step mother, she may not outrank the father but if the step mother is the primary care giver then it could get tricky as time goes on.