moving question
First of all, there are no moving restrictions in the custody papers. BM gets every other weekend so her visitation would not be changed, i would drive to meet her where she picks up her other kids because my brother in law lives there so id just stay instead of driving all over the place. We would be moving 6 hours away, exactly 400 miles, to my husbands parents house. Hes an idiot and now we owe the irs about $4000 dollars and this is the only way we can pay that back. We do not plan on living that far away forever, we would move closer to bm before he started school at 6 years old. This is something we have to do in order to make it because im due in about 8 weeks with our second child, his third. We are also willing to pay half of her transportation costs per month
My full question is, can she
My full question is, can she do anythimg to stop us from moving. I dont want to plan things if she can.
She could go to court and
She could go to court and request a custody change or prevent the move.
Is this move out of state? Of
Is this move out of state? Of so, then the chances are very good that yes, she can and if it were me I would raise a stink. There is no way I would let my child move that far away without putting up a fight. Most states require you to notify the courts of a pending move at least 30 days and usually 60 days in advance of the move. Please check with your courts asap to make sure you are not breaking any rules.
No its not out of the state.
No its not out of the state. We would be moving in texas from, from the dfw area to down by the coast, corpus christi. It would not be permanent. Shes not even supposed to have unsupervised visits per the current order. We came to an agreement with her for the every other weekend out of court because we all know she cant afford to go. Her other kids live 3 hours away and she drives the sane way to get them eow, so we would be meeting her in the same area. She would lose no time and wed make holidays longer than we originally had.
Sounds like a win win. If she
Sounds like a win win. If she is going that way anyway, and now she will save money since you guys would pay half her transportation cost. Just ask her. Sounds like you worked out side of the courts with visitation anyway. When ever you can do it out of court, that is best.
Plus - your moving somewhere
Plus - your moving somewhere that has surf. Put him in a surf class, it would be fun! corpus christi can have decent waves.
And were in no way doing this
And were in no way doing this to keep him away from her. Like i said she only sees him eow, and that woukd continue. While were so far away we were even going to offer that she could keep him friday to monday instead of sunday since hes still got a while before can start school. Were doing this to sell our house and so we dont lose everything. This is a must for our family rught now.
How is that not for the
How is that not for the benefit of him too? For him to lose his home? You have no idea the whole situation, weve been through hell and back with her between cps and really having to firce her to see him. Now all the money we had to spend on saving him from her drug using ways has came back to bite us in the ass. He has been in therapy and numerous other problems due to her prenatal drug use. She has moved 4 times and didnt see him for 6 months but the court can say we cant move? We cant afford to live here anymore. This town we luve in is super exspensive.
It only states that she is to
It only states that she is to have no visitation til she passes hair follicle tests for one year, then it is to be mutually agreed upon supervised visitation. That she can go back to court after one year to modify to unsupervised, and that we are to hive the courts 60 day and her 30 days notice of a change of address.
You and your husband can move
You and your husband can move anywhere you like. The issue may be moving the kids. The supervised visitation will likely be considered moot as Dad gives her unsupervised time. He should speak with an attorney.
It sounds like it should be
It sounds like it should be fine. She doesn't loose anything, kid gets extra time with dad's family and you guys are not under such financial pressure. Plus, add in the fact that she is unlikely to be willing to risk going to court because of her drug and financial situation. Only negative I can see is that the kid will have a long drive twice a month, but having a home to live in outweighs that in my mind.
I would take the move to her and tell her that for her things won't change and highlight the benefits for the child. Let her know that it is a last resort for you guys and that you are only doing it because you really have to. Don't mention paying for half of the transport costs yet. Treat this like a negotiation, don't show all your cards at once. Then when she gives a little push back you can start by offering to pay 1/4 of the cost, then when she offers more say fine we'll pay 1/2 and you can get extra time in the holidays.
If at all possible, make sure you stick to the letter of the court order with the 60/30 day notice of change of address so that that can't be used against you.
Am I understanding correctly
Am I understanding correctly that right now she is not to have unsupervised visits - yet your DH is letting her have unsupervised visits?
In my area we recently had a case where two brothers, one 2 and one 3, were found wandering in the street almost a mile from home. The father had fallen asleep, and when he realized they were missing he waited 5 hours to call the police. He was arrested.
The mother was also arrested because she had dropped the boys off with their father the night before. She had a restraining order against him because of neglect and left the boys with him anyway.
I would be concerned about DH's liability if he is leaving SS alone with BM when a court order is ordering that is not to happen.
Our lawyer told us since it
Our lawyer told us since it states mutually agreed upon, that if they agree upon it then thats the way it goes, well basically what my husband tells her goes. He worded it so that we could do it that way. Shes giving us a tough time as of right now because she just lost the custody battle with her other kids dad and her boyfriemd broke up with her. She wants more visitation everytime something traumatic happens in her life, which is rediculous. Weve tried more visitation and SHE cut it back down to the bare minimum so we told her we would not change anything again. Our move has nothing to do with this, weve been planning this move for a few months now, but i can see this talk with her not going well at all.
Well actually the correct
Well actually the correct statement she said was " i want more control over my son". There was no my son needs to see me more, nor was there a i need more time with my son, she wants more control. I think that is such a narcissistic thing to say
Just because she didn't word
Just because she didn't word it nicely, doesn't mwan she meant it the way it came out.
There are posters here who have been able to keep BMs from moving the kids away.
Going to court to prevent the CP from moving isn't the same as going to court to modify visitation.
If BM is ok with it and she
If BM is ok with it and she agrees then it will be just fine, if not she can possibly get custody if the court says you are disrupting ss's visitation schedule and making it an imposition to see her son. Our CO can get reviewed if the move is more than 60 miles away. In your case it sounds like the move is not "necessary," only benefits you/DH and puts significantly more distance between ss and his mother. If BM is at all smart she'll block the move and go for custody. If DH really wants to retain custody and facilitate a relationship between ss and BM he'll stay put and get an extra job to pay off the debt.
There HAS to be another option besides running back home to sponge off mom and dad. If they are well off enough to house a young family/new baby and all the costs associated with it then they can give him a loan. Also DH could have his wages garnished until it's paid off. I have a feeling you'll be living with your MIL's much longer than you think. You're going there in debt and very soon you'll have another mouth to feed, which will require more money.