Big WTF...
SS is do to Graduate this year from middle school. The problem is this whole year he's been goofing off and not doing and school work. Not Struggling just refusing to do it even with help. Last Semester he failed 5 out of 7 courses. This semester his highest average is 42 in gym! Three of his classes he's done NO work at all and has a average of 0. There is NO way he's going to pass his classes even if the teachers put a Curve on all the grades or Fudge it a little to pass him. If he was at least doing half the work maybe but no work how can they Legally push him on? DH has told the school to just fail him if he's going to be Difficult. The guidance counselor was shocked that DH said this and told DH the school board would NEVER agree to this since the kids are already stressed over Covid. Um WTF! So just push SS along to high school where he will NEVER be able to catch up as he will be so behind everyone else??!
So I guess I want to know from teachers or anyone else is I get it schools want to be easy on kids do to Covid. BUT to what point? Yes SS is in a IEP program but still I would think they would want to make sure he knew the Material at least halfway before moving him onto high school? I'm not talking about a kid that's failing one or two classes. SS is failing 90 percent of his classes and badly
If your H wants to do
If your H wants to do something, get him a tutor but do NOT push them to hold him back. He could have a much better year next year and turn things around when back in normal classes. Holding kids back just makes them MUCH more susceptible to not graduating school at all and having to go the GED route. I say this from experience with my oldest son. It was the beginning of the end w/his education after holding him back. When is his bday also? Is he already behind? What age would he be now vs holding him back when graduating? The older he is the bigger the chances he won't finish.
DO NOT go this route, get a tutor. Keep him with a tutor next year or summer school if he needs to catch up. There are multiple studies that have confirmed this- again, from my own experience it hurt my son tremendously and caused him to drop out. He will have time in HS to catch up as the first year isn't that bad, he can go to summer school there also.
Insist holding him back at your own peril (and his). There is a reason those teachers weren't agreeable to it, they NOW know the end results-we had the opposite and they insisted on holding him back even though he was within 5 points in one class of passing him. After my dad and I intervened (my dad was a private school principal years ago) they actually went (his math teacher CU next tuesday) and adjusted his grade down FURTHER after our meeting so it was w/in 20 points of meeting grade. I had the paperwork and snapshots of the portal to prove it, it just made them dig in further as I went WAY up the ladder to get this resolved. Trust me, I blame that VP and those teachers (especially the math one that went back and changed his grade to a lower grade)- till this day for the fact he did not graduate. It killed his self-esteem, between his mental health issues that started in HS and his advanced age during classes w/his peers, it put him over the edge. Don't do it.
I'm not sure about how this happened but I have my theories and from speaking to others in education after the fact. We were in a school that my son (caucasian) was the minority-as it was heavily minority school, which was fine until he became a casualty. I had the impression that for whatever percentage of kids failed they had to have some 'diversity' in that holding back to not look bad (happens in every school regardless of demographics honestly). So many other things happened later, he was in virtual school and MIDDLE of the year they said they had to switch him back - tons of 'reasons' why- and each time they did something nutso like that his grades would slip again. My son was failed starting in pre-k when his teacher recommended holding him back so he would be the oldest in K5 vs youngest (His bday is Aug), that was my 1st mistake listening to them. Then the middle stuff happened in grade 7 (he was being bullied/beat up and his grades started slipping)- I did everything in my power to have them not hold him back.
I will say this, the school system in my county is horrendous, the truth is they failed both my sons and my step-daughter but we got those two graduated at least. NONE of these kids were dumb, daft or lazy either.
Yes he is already WAY behind
His birthday is the end of may and he will be 14. If they hold him back he will be 19 when he Graduate.
Getting a tutor would be a excellent Choice IF SS was normal. Both DH and BM have Masters degrees and very Intelligent and fully devoted to helping SS. The problem is even with hand holding help from BM or DH SS refuses to do the work. All of SS's teachers have also reached out to personally work with SS but he refuses. I strongly believe SS would either refuse to meet with a Tutor or if forced would just sit there and pretend to be doing the work or listening.
Freshman Year
When I first got into the Parent Portal, and saw that Backstabber was failing 3 out of 8 classes, 4 weeks before end of semester #1, DH got really mad at her, and she asked me to help keep her on track with things. So, in addition to Parent Portal, I got her google classroom credentials (backstabber has since changed the password, which is fine).
I was able to see what assignments were missing. And made a list of missing assignments, prioritising classes she needed to graduate.
2 were "electives" - Art and Orchestra.
I bought her art supplies. And we worked out incentives...which I paid for. And made a deal that she would get $20 per A. Backstabber asked to be paid for Bs as well, I said "no".
So, she pulled the F's up to C's and made some B's.
This semester, She kept on track and I backed off. Then we had a falling out over her not responding appropriately and she started getting sullen with me about school, and since the blowout I have not had any input over school. She is currently failing Orchestra (not my problem) and if she made up missing assignments would have several A's, but they are high B's. So even without giving her her "currency" - ie things andexperiences - even with coasting and missing all kinds of assignments, shes pretty well set for graduating to next level, without summer school.
SO, that being said, find his "currency". Then contact teachers, get into his google classroom. Make a list of assignments and sit him down at the table and not let him leave table until 30% of total assignments are TURNED IN. That you can see in Google classroom. Then each weekend spend the ENTIRE weekend doing make up work.
He needs to start Freshman Year.
I had two sophomore years and
I had two sophomore years and graduated from HS with honors at 19yo. NHS, SoDAHS, Presidential Classroom for Young Americans, Outstanding Graduating Sr. (Cadet/HS Graduate with the Highest GPA, ROTC performance, Athletic Performance, and community service performance), etc.... Being held back does not have to be a disaster . Though I was not happy about my do over at the time. That is for sure.
For kids with quality engaged parents, I do not see a significant risk in holding a kid back.
In fact, I would be an advocate for holding any kid back that does not meet the performance standards for any grade. Social promotion, or don't hurt the kid's fee fees promotions, cheapen the value of a diploma for the kids that actually meet the graduation requirements. The lower on the class rankings a kid is, the more damage forced promotion does to the value of a HS diploma. Honors grads at the top of the class rankings though impacted, are not impacted as much as those who actually meet graduation requirements and are on the lower end of the rankings.
IMHO of course.
Schools have there fail rate reported to the state.
If too many kids fail the school gets into trouble. As in them, there teachers are not doing things right. Schools don't want that. Nobody wants to look bad or a failer. The top people in the school can't get other more paying jobs if there are failures.
The school don't want a bunch of 25 yo still going to school. So they pass anybody they can. You have to not show up to fail. Somebody not showing up ,not taking test ect. Can't passed
This is a lost school year
This is a lost school year for many kids due to COVID. Kid mental health issues are off the charts. I don't think schools have any idea what they are going to do with the vast numbers of kids who did poorly this year. It's much more than laziness going on.
From what we have been told
From what we have been told this year they are passing everybody. I have a friend who is a high school teacher and he gets reprimanded if he has too many students below a passing level. So they pretty much have to pass kids who don't ever show up for class or do any work.
Everyone is passing this year
Everyone is passing this year. Even our local community college is not incorporating failing grades into GPA - they're just not giving credit. The kid is going to pass and he won't be the only one who has lost a year of learning. If he (or his parents) kick his ass into gear next year, he should be able to catch up.
That said, just because he moves on to high school doesn't mean he shouldn't have consequences for his failures. What have his parents been doing to discourage him from not doing/turning in his work? If there've been no consequences, then I'm not remotely surprised that an unmotivated kid isn't doing his assignments, especially during a pandemic when school has been a lot different from normal. It's not fair for his parents to expect the school to dish out the consequences (retention) when they should have found his currency and used it to motivate him throughout the year.
This will come back to be a problem in the future.
My DW had this happen for one class during her undergrad. The Prof died mid semester and the replacement was clueless. So, everyone passed. Sh completed her dual major undergrad (Mgt/Acctg) with honors (3.65GPA).
When she applied for Grad school, she had to retake the class for her new University because of the flag in her transcript indicating a P/F on a class that had been taken for a grade. Her first semester of Grad school she had to retake that one undergrad class.
Those P/F high school "grades" are going to bite a number of these Covid kids in the ass.
I forecast that these kids are going to be in remedial college classes up the wazzoo immediatley after HS because few of them are going to be able to do Freshman level college work.