Autistic ss does weird things concerning
My ss is 7 and barely speaks, he has severe paranoia with sounds and will hold his ears even if he hears beeping, commercials, ticking, and even music. He does weird things like touch his private area all day long no matter how many times you tell him to quit, we tried making him wear different types of underwear but he still does it and plays with his nipples (sorry i know tmi) so much that one is deformed now. He tries to touch peoples breats all the time even strangers and if we tell him to stop he will try to touch peoples arms and legs. I tried talking to my wife and shes concerned too. She says he never did this before. She thinks it started after we had our daughter who is now 6 months old. She thinks hes just trying to get attention. To me this is just plain creepy. No matter how hard we try to set boundaries he keeps doing it. He only speaks like a 2 year old so it's hard to even discipline or him. He has this obsession with people hurt. Like if my daughter cries he starts laughing hysterically. I've even caught him trying to touch her nipples and laughing. It's really disturbing. I feel bad for my wife. Sometimes I catch her crying because she doesn't know what to do. I feel like his grandmother is a bad influence for him. Everytime we try to make him independent like eat for himself, we catch her dragging him down spoon feeding him like hes a baby. My wife said her mother might be the issue cause shes caught her walking naked in the house. When she confronted her about it she her mom said "he doesn't know and i was just getting dressed after I shower it's not a big deal" She has like no shame and will go to the bathroom with the door open and crap in front of strangers. My wife breastfeeds the baby but she covers herself and goes to the other room. I've heard that it's normal for autistic kids to be inappropriate but this feels like a whole other level. I never leave my baby from my side I'm so scared of him. I feel like he will never get better and I think my wife is starting to see it now too.
You need professional help.
With this kid. What going to happened when he gets older. He can not go through life touching other people or playing with himself out in public. You need a real plan for your SS. Some type of plan made with professional help and a plan for the future. This kid looks like he will never be independen and will need help for the rest of his life
Does he have a therapist and
Does he have a therapist and a psychiatrist? If not, get one. Get him involved in services for children with autism. They can help.
I don't know why you decided
I don't know why you decided to have a child with a woman that had an autistic child. I really hope you're not considering leaving her or trying to gain full custody of your daughter. Just to let you know she will probably keep custodial guardianship of your daughter to spite her other child having autism. My child has autism and he is the exact same way the only thing he doesn't do is play with his nipples. He does touch himself a lot. He cries a lot over things that normal children wouldn't cry about and he also has the language of a 3 year old. He is sensitive to noise and also will hold his ears. It's not easy to have a child like this and I'm a stepmom too. Everyone favors my stepdaughter and doesn't do anything for my son. This child has feelings to spite what you think. There are services and help available but with Covid it's been difficult. It's a long road with children like this. My son is 6 and we just got him potty trained. He plays with his privates a lot even when I tell him to stop. He doesn't touch anyone else but himself but he does do things normal children wouldn't do. Your wife will be upset and I really hope you're not thinking of bailing on her. Please don't ask her to put him in a home or anything. Things can improve with proper education, therapy, maybe medication and good services. He's still young. You will have to rethink the situation when he's an adult. Hopefully he can better function. You can put locks on the door as well if your concerned about him being alone with your daughter. He can't be left alone at all. They also tend to run away. They walk in the middle of the street without realizing there is danger. Even when I do laundry I separate my two children but like I said my son doesn't touch anyone else but himself.