Is anyone else annoyed by watching their SD be treated like a baby?
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I have a 7 year old step daughter who still talks like a baby whines all the time and worst of all thinks she needs to be carried around everywhere. Does anyone else think its ridiculous to carry a 7 year old child from the living room to the kitchen for dinner,upstairs, into the grocery store etc., because she says "ehh I don't feel like walking" (in the whiniest voice possible) or "da da carry me!"(yes she actually calls her father da da, I mean dad or daddy is just fine but da da, really?). It drives me nuts. Am I insensitive? Is this normal behavior from a first grader? Does anyone agree with me or am I just mean?
No, not normal. You're not
No, not normal. You're not mean. Make the little princess walk.
Nope not normal. If he
Nope not normal. If he doesn't stop she will keep on acting that way. SO just stopped carrying SD to bed about 1 year ago and she is almost 14!!! Believe me stop it now or it will be a bigger problem.
I'm glad to hear that. I was
I'm glad to hear that. I was really hoping I wasn't crazy. I'm sorry you have to deal with the same crap. I have tried to address the problem and my SO goes back and forth on it. One day he agrees, the next day she's his little baby daughter and he's tired of me telling him what to do. IDK whether to try to drop it push the issue. One of the reasons this baby stuff bothers me so much is because we have a 17 month old son and I don't want him to grow up and act like that. Correction, I refuse to treat my son like he's made of gold, I don't want a brat for a son and I will not raise him to behave that way. I worry that my SD and son, along with any other kids we might have in the future will be treated differently from the SD and that's not fair. IDK if it's worth arguing over or if I should just try to ignore it. Should I just let my SO be responsible for her and teach my son to be a normal little boy, or demand rules be set for the little princess?
OMG that's crazy! She's 7
OMG that's crazy! She's 7 not 7 months! MAKE THAT CHILD WALK!
^^THANK YOU!!!^^ I feel the
^^THANK YOU!!!^^ I feel the same way, I mean if our 17 month son can walk around and come when he's called on his own my 7 year old SD should be able to do the same. I guess anything to do with her is always a sore subject so I kind of have to pick my battles. Funny thing is my SO works and I stay home with the kids, so most of the time it's just us at home but the second my SO comes through the door it's like a switch goes off, she's a totally different kid(a whiny little bratty one).
She's turning into a
She's turning into a mini-wife and he's allowing it. Soon, she'll be wanting to sit on his lap CONSTANTLY, sleep in bed with him, spoon with him on the floor...if he doesn't stop this insane needy and clingy behavior with her now, you're in for a long road of misery.
Search "mini wife" on this site and read. Then show it to you DH. He's hindering her growth. I'm sure he doesn't want to be carrying her to the bus stop for middle school does he? Give me a break. This kid needs a reality check and fast.
^^^^This^^^^ I's serious
^^^^This^^^^ I's serious business, get it in check now or you will have a long miserable next few years
Wow, I have never heard of a
Wow, I have never heard of a mini-wife before, but you're exactly right. That's definitely what's going to happen. I think it makes it harder to stop because even if I can get my DH to stop it her BM's parent's will still treat like an infant. They are so ridiculous with her. The last time they brought her back to our house after taking her out they spent 10 minutes passing her back and forth like a little baby in our foyer before they left. I swear her feet did not touch the ground until they went out the door. All you have to do is mention her grandparents on her BM's side and she will start acting like a baby, I'm talking crying, baby talk, she will even pretend to stutter sometimes when she tells stories about her nn nn nn na na.
Oh boy, you're in for it
Oh boy, you're in for it then. If she's being coddled by the grandparents too and DH won't do anything, I'm afraid for your future with him.
I wish I could help but do try and get your DH on board. If she knows she won't be treated like an infant at your home by daddy, then she may not act as bad around you guys. It's horrible and I told DH I wouldn't stand for it, so he changed and didn't allow SD to maintain her babyish ways.
I know, some how she's
I know, some how she's everyone's precious little baby :sick:
I really hope that I can get through to him because there is only so much a person can take. I'm hoping I can show him some articles on normal behavior of a child her age and maybe he will see I'm not being a bitchy SM I'm being realistic. If I can get SD to act normal in our home to be honest i really don't care what the grandparents do, SD isn't around them very much and as long as she doesn't bring that baby stuff back home then the grandparents can let her annoy them all they want. I don't blame you for putting your foot down and I'm glad things worked out for you.
Ask your husband this one
Ask your husband this one question: Did YOUR parents CARRY you around at age 7 and allow you to whine and talk baby talk at that age?
If the answer is NO (which I'm assuming it'll be) then say this: Then WHY are you allowing your daughter to behave this way?
Wait for the response...
LOL...Can't say that it gets
LOL...Can't say that it gets any better for a long time...My SD12 still wants to ride in a grocery cart, sit on her father's lap continuously, and be carried around...I know how frustrating it is. {{{{HUGS}}}}
It gets better if the Dear
It gets better if the Dear Daddy puts his foot down and doesn't allow it to happen anymore, trust me! If not, I never would've stuck around!
^^My SD does all of those
^^My SD does all of those things..it's so embarrassing when you have to go out in public and your SD that's so big she gets stuck in the leg holes of cart but just has to ride in the front like a baby anyway, it makes me want to look at people and say "She's not mine" lol. I am so sorry you have to go through frustration too but it's nice to know someone understands what it's like.
Carried??? I have a 4 yr old
Carried??? I have a 4 yr old and I don't carry her anywhere!!! She is just going to get worse and worse.
My SS7 gets carried a lot too
My SS7 gets carried a lot too - he is 'too tired' to walk or 'too bored' and he also will talk in baby talk and say da-da and ma-mi like a baby.
He will also not eat at the table and DH will reach over and feed him. This is not all of every meal but at least a few times during each and every dinner.
DH looks ridiculous carrying a 7 year old boy.
One time at an especially annoying dinner of whining and games to get him to eat DH was feeding him like a baby. I called SS7 to look at me and asked him if he thought his friends dad's fed them like babies at the table too and what he would think of that. He just shrugged, I asked him if he wanted a high chair and a bib ? Needless to say, DH was angry with me for the rest of the night.
For gods sake, my BD8 cuts her own meat in addition to feeding herself - how stupid.
it's disgusting how these
it's disgusting how these guilty daddies baby and spoil their kids isn't it?
I asked DH if HIS parents treated him like that at the age in which he was allowing SD to basically run his life. NO, was his answer. So I posed this question: THEN WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING YOUR CHILD TO DO THESE THINGS????
Ding ding ding, give him a cookie, the light bulb finally is shining bright!
My SD8 does the exact same
My SD8 does the exact same thing! She takes FOREVER to eat and is the sloppiest/messiest eater I know. Trust me, your not the only one that has asked if she needed a high chair and a bib! She pretty much laughed it off and didnt think I would really do it...basically in 1 ear and out the other. I ask her all the time how old she is 8 or 2. It seems we are not the only ones dealing with this. We need a support group for dealing with older babies!
Katie
My SD tried to start the
My SD tried to start the spoon feeding thing too when she was 5 or 6 and I quickly put a stop to that. She asked me to do it one night at the dinner table and I laughed at her. I told her how ridiculous it was for her to all of a sudden think she needed to be fed like a baby and there was no way I was going to treat her that way, I told her I wasn't embarrassing myself like that( Come on, my son used a spoon for the first time before he turned 1). DH got mad for a while of course but it was better than feeling like an idiot feeding a child that age. When I couldn't get DH to stop it and was tired of arguing, I know it sounds childish but I called his mom lol. I had her tell him he was being ridiculous and coming from her (since she also worships SD) it meant something. I know it seems stupid taddle telling on a grown man to their mommy but for some reason it seems to work. If I tell his mother a story and she's on my side some how he suddenly comes to the light.
It's pathetic how dads do everything short of begging for their kids approval. It's like they think they have to earn their love or something. Don't they know no matter what they do or don't do their children will always be their children and love them?
Hearing a 7 year old say "da
Hearing a 7 year old say "da da" makes you want to pull your hair out right? I know its horrible. Once i didn't put the icing on a toaster strudel the "right way" and SD5 at the time screamed and cried and threw it on the floor. What is wrong with these children?
I have a ss who is in the
I have a ss who is in the first grade and he gets treated like a baby. He's also
a very messy eater.He wants to be on his dad's lap all the time and follows him
to the bathroom. He also can't open snacks on his own...can't get dressed. ..still
can't bathe on his own. Needs assistance cleaning himself after using the toilet...
sleeps on our bad...so yeah he can't sleep on his own. .can't find his own socks
when you tell him to put some on...can't find a sweater either when you tell
him to put one on which i don't get because there are drawers full of clothes on his
room...I think he should know that by now.OMG...the list goes on and on.
When a friend's daughter
When a friend's daughter acted this way at 7 it was the first sign that she was mentally challenged. She is now about 30 and living in a group home. Point that out to your DH.
DH and I were at an amusement park and he commented on a 4 year old being too old to be in a stroller. I laughed and said "wait until you see the really big kids in a stroller too". He was disgusted.
I have had this SAME issue
I have had this SAME issue with my SS! The boy is going to be 13 next month. BM made his older sisters wipe his butt for him after toileting until he was 7, poured his drinks for him until he was 10 and let him sleep with her every night until he was 11! Once she called me when he was 10 and confronted me saying "He tells me you only allow him to eat salad at your house". ...SERIOUSLY? You REALLY think that even deserves to be considered a possible fact? I replied "No he eats dinner like anyone else and when he's inbetween meals there's stuff here for sandwiches, noodle cups, fruit and so on" Her response was "Oh, you mean things he has to make himself? He's too young to do that you know". !!!! The doctor told us that maturity wise he is a 9 year old in a 13 year old body! I feel for you cause I know exactly what you are going through....my problem is now that he is older and I know he sees his friends and classmates acting their age ..I KNOW he knows better and I sometimes seethe with resentment from it. It really effects my ability to bond with the kid. My 6 year old has more expected out of him than my SS does and there is something wrong with that. My husband is much better than BM, but he's still bad about the coddeling too because he fears his son won't want to come over anymore if he treats him like an average 13 year old. BM makes life so easy and dreamy and even does his homework for the kid that we can't compete when it comes to which house is more enjoyable. It's a snow balling disaster.