Parenting syles are getting "looser". It is hard work to keep tight reigns and many young parents (not all) are more interested in "their" best interest. Once you have kids, YOU ARE NOT THE IMPORTANT ONE, it is the kids that have to be number one priority--their well being, their education, their moral development, etc.
I will probably get lots of negative responses to this post----because according to some----it shouldn't be about the kids being first. And with this said, I rest my case.

DH and I are strict parents. And we are virtually alone as all of SD's best friends' parents have given up. And as bad as it sounds I am tempted to give up with SD sometimes and say "Go - do drugs get pregnant contract an STD" because it's such an uphill battle.

One of SD's friend's mom's (who I try to be friends with but it's so very hard sometimes) actually found out her 13 yr old daughter snuck a 16 yr old boy into her room to give him a BJ. She grounded her daughter, which meant that she could only talk to her friends on the cell phone while her mom was in the room or have friend's over when her mom was home etc.

She told me, "Her socialization with her peers is just to crucial to who she is for me to take it all away. It would cost her too dearly."

UGH.

This is what we're up against. So what message does that send your kid? That you as their parents are unreasonable and over controlling because you expect them to dress properly for their age and do age appropriate activities etc, while every one of their friend's parents let their kids do whatever they want.

It's really tough here in adolescent land.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

I come from a family of 5 kids and if we ever disrespected our parents in anway we got hit with a belt. So we knew not to mouth off, come home in time for dinner, do our chores and not be monsters. If we ever told our parents to shut up we would have got smacked across the face and locked in our rooms the rest of the day and been on restriction for a week and had extra chores and you couldn't say one word to my parents because they would not negotiate nor would they give in. I'm 40 and I remember that EVERYONE in my neighborhood had parents like that. This was in a pretty upscale neighborhood in the 70's. The other day there was a kid climing on my fence fooling around and he was about 7 or 8 and I said very nicely hey you need to get down I don't want you to fall (plus I have two very big dogs in my backyard) and he looks at me and says f u to me. This is typical of kids nowadays they have no respect for anyone - period!

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

screaming, hitting their parents-running around throwing things in the aisles. And I just look at the parents and wonder-what in the world are you doing?

I remember taking my boys, when they were younger, into a shop in Estes Park. We walked around, looked at things, and, right before we left, the shopkeeper asked me if she could give my sons some toys. I must have looked very puzzled, because she then explained that it was so nice to have kids in the shop who actually behaved, that she wanted to reward them! Made me proud of mine, of course, but speaks volumes about todays permissive culture.

Angel,I agree and we all know that when you have children, raising them is one of your first responsiblities. When I, for one, refer to H never putting me first, it means just in his heart. It means treating me like a real wife...like consulting me on things before he talks to his kids (primarily when it is something that will affect me also.)It also means seeing that his kids treat me with respect. it has nothing to do with shirking parental responsibilties.

And these are the kids that are going to take of us when we're old and decrepit.

I'd rather drive my Rascal scooter in front of a mack truck before I let that happen.

Kids today are so rude. I got a 22 month old and he so naughty i cant control him. He is good 4 his dad but me no way.

bad behavior is a reflection of the more me now society that we live in.

I often wonder how much of it comes from woman having to work & having daycares & schools raising our children.

I have to work, and I do about 45 hrs a week. 11/2 hrs a day are spent commuting because I moved to DH's house because we have skids after school 3 days a week. My son is 17 months & is in a home daycare with a woman who is amazing. I thank God everyday that I found her. He also believes in good behavior & good manners & enforces them. She is also very choosey about the kids she accepts.

I struggle with being away from my son, my heart aches for him some days & although I have so much respect for my daycare provider it is hard knowing that he spends more time with her than me. By the time I get home I am pretty exhausted and often go to bed within an hour of my son going to bed. I am lucky because I work from home on Fridays with him. It is a lighter day work wise & isn't easy working & taking care of him, but is so worth it.

Neither DH or I tolerate rudeness or bad behavior either from the skids or our son. Who ever said that kids are like puppies are right. They have to be trained & it has to be consistant. I just think that society is so focased on more me now that parents are not focasing on what is important. Spending time with their children, quality family time & teaching them to mind & be respectful.

No matter how tired I am I spend the few hours I have with my son every night. If he is being naughty, I tell him no & remove him from the situation. I may have to do this over & over, but that is how he will learn. It is easy to just let them do what they want & if you want a brat that is a sure fire way to raise on. Kids need rules & structure & limits. If you are not prepared to give them that then you are not going to like what you end up with.

with this whole world and all of our society!

"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac

As my DH & I have had many "talks" about this. We both notice a vast difference in our own kids, differences in my Bio-kids, compared to the skids. It is all in the way they are raised, and I'm raising mine the "old" fashioned way, and it helps that my Ex agrees, as that is just how we were brought up.My DH wants to raise our son like that also, and wishes he could have done the same for the skids, but BM "over road" him all the time, now they are just like her. The disrespect that kids show , and the parents reactions these days dumbfounds me! How long will this go, before the bomb explodes???"~waiting on the world to change~"

I am irritated beyond words with the brats that people pass off as children these days. going out in public, I'm not out of my car 5 minutes 1/2 the time before I'm gritting my teeth in anger over screaming whining hitting running children everywhere. more often then not, the pseudo parent is yammering away on their cell phone, ignoring the hellspawn. I seriously don't understand, it must be something that happens when you have kids of your own, you can effectively mute them when you choose to, b/c I sure don't have that ability.

And I make it known too. I am the queen of glares when it comes to bratty children in public, and have NO problem commenting to myself or my companion about the sad state of parenting these days.

FH and I brought Sd to friendlys last week. We were seated near two tables with children. One child was 6, and was being fed by his gramma (no there was nothing wrong with him, as he was perfectly capable of using his hands for other things) we know he was 6 b/c he was screaming about his birthday and his gifts the entire time, jumping on the seats, wiggling under the tables, ugh.

Another child was there for his second birthday. This kid, you wouldn't even know he was there. He was quiet, well behaved, laughing and being paid attention to by both of his parents, PLUS making a real effort to feed himself with a spoon. Unbelievable, the difference not between the kids really, but about the parenting...

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

I didn't have time to read the responses so this may be redundant...but even if you're good parents, a lot of it is society these days. The kids friends, TV shows, just everything about life these days, tends to portray materialistic, snobby, self absorbed attitudes that teach kids these behaviors. You can't get away from it anymore. There are so many new laws & rules that take parent's rights away, its ridiculous. You're responsible for your kids, but you can't discipline them besides a time out these days! Everything else is either abuse or neglect.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

I didn't have time to read the responses so this may be redundant...but even if you're good parents, a lot of it is society these days. The kids friends, TV shows, just everything about life these days, tends to portray materialistic, snobby, self absorbed attitudes that teach kids these behaviors. You can't get away from it anymore. There are so many new laws & rules that take parent's rights away, its ridiculous. You're responsible for your kids, but you can't discipline them besides a time out these days! Everything else is either abuse or neglect.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

my child's TV watching. We watch the same 4/5 10 minuet episodes of Ebee Baby a couple of times a week. It is educational series on on demand. He loves it. My skids have had unlimited TV watching & video games, I do thank God they are still so good.

I agree with Sita about the too much structure and need to be entertained or stimulated. My current plan for my son is to keep him in our home daycare till he starts kindergarden. Once he is three I am thinking of letting him do preschool on the day I work from home or on a daycare day if my daycare lady will drop him off. I just don't agree with having them in school for 15 years. I think that they need to get to be little kids and play & have fun. My kid loves nothing more than to emoty out my spice drawers & pots & pan cupboard. He loves nothing more than to wear a pot on his head. It is too cute. LOL

its the way u raise ur kids. i dont have any yet so maybe i will find that theory is much easier than practice but i was raised to be a quiet, respectful little child...went thru the typical teenage bs of mouthing off but if i acted the way most kids do today my mom wouldve smacked me!! i just knew how to behave and she rarely hit me. even my aunt to this day commenst on how i was such a good baby, never cried, could take me anywhere and i never fussed, etc. thats how i want to raise my kids.

Dh is very leniant but has gotten much better bc of me. i would be much harder on SS if he were mine. at leats hes making progress.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Every year, they become increasingly more and more disrespectful. They say things to me, as their teacher (5th graders), I could NEVER imagine saying to any adult when I was that age.

And when you contact the parents, you definitely find out why! The parents are obviously the root of the problem- obnoxious, rude, and possess an attitude of, "Well, that's not MY problem, lady!" (And I teach Catholic school RELIGION classes!) It's simply awful.

I also have a cousin who has a 3-yr-old overindulged daughter. This kid is like a "mini-adult"- goes to Starbucks, shops at Bloomingdales, eats sushi. She even has a mini Coach pocketbook! AT THREE!!!! It's ridiculous. But the parents think, "it's just so precious." Anything she wants- she gets, no questions asked.

I asked the mom if she knew what she was doing was "probably the wrong thing". And you know what her answer was?

"Oh, I don't THINK I'm doing the wrong thing. I KNOW I am! But I don't really care right now. And I know I'll probably pay for it later, but right now she's just too darn cute to say 'no' to!"

And I'm thinking, "Oh yeah, at 3 it's just SOOOO cute (sarcasm and BARF). Wait a couple more years when "Princess" hears the word 'NO' for the first time in her life and just see how cute it is when she's throwing a bloody tantrum!

What an idiot. Someone on here recently said you should have to take a test before having kids. This is a classic example of someone who would have failed!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis